SUPER ANXIOUS, PLZ READ :(

[bigjetplane6]

Friends....
Here I am again, posting yet another thread.
I hope I don’t get you guys annoyed... But these forums have helped me get through another day, or avoid another anxiety breakdown.
Been super scared about vulvar cancer. I have self diagnosed myself with it, as there’s no other explanation as to why I have a small section on vaginal area (Sorry, TMI) that has changed colors to white. I’m scared, breathless, and can’t think straight.
Already went to the OBGYN, and she said she saw what I’m talking about and doesn’t know why it has changed. She said biopsy it or wait and watch and see what’s happens.
That scared me more as I didn’t get the answer I was hoping which is, “This happens a lot. It’s normal”. I was upset that they didn’t want to do the biopsy the same day, she said I had to make another appointment for the biopsy.
So she sent me home with more nerves.
I’m a 27 year old female.
Anyone have any knowledge on this scare I’m going through?
I can’t take this anymore.

 

[bin_tenn]

as there’s no other explanation as to why I have a small section on vaginal area (Sorry, TMI) that has changed colors to white

That's not true, there are lots of benign (and more likely) reasons. I can't remember them off the top of my head, but I've read about things like this before. Yes, I read random crap about things that aren't even relevant to me. Haha. Your doctor wanted to perform a biopsy because it *can* be a number of things, and the treatment depends on the root cause.

Unless your doctor specifically says you should worry, don't worry. They would know if something were glaringly wrong, and they would tell you if they knew you were in harm's way.

 

[bigjetplane6]

That's not true, there are lots of benign (and more likely) reasons. I can't remember them off the top of my head, but I've read about things like this before. Yes, I read random crap about things that aren't even relevant to me. Haha. Your doctor wanted to perform a biopsy because it *can* be a number of things, and the treatment depends on the root cause.

Unless your doctor specifically says you should worry, don't worry. They would know if something were glaringly wrong, and they would tell you if they knew you were in harm's way.

Well she wasn’t even the doctor, she was the nurse practitioner. She seemed confident in her job but you know how HA works - we doubt even the doctors. She asked me on the spot if I had any pain and I said no. And I actually do have pain, and still have pain. I should have said that at the appointment. I’m not sure if this would have changed the way the appointment went. I just don’t understand why she didn’t go ahead with the biopsy on the spot instead of making me make another appointment for the biopsy.
I guess what scares me is that I can’t find any other explanation for the skin change in that area other than vulvar cancer. I just can’t. I have literally convinced myself that I have that. I’m a mess......

 

[bin_tenn]

I know how it goes, believe me! I'm just trying to reassure you, because I've been there and now I'm pretty much on the other side of things, for the most part. They often don't do a biopsy right away, unless they find some reason to suspect that it's more likely immediately harmful to you. "Watch and wait" is a common practice. Doctors don't like to do more than is absolutely necessary, because they don't want to waste their time or yours, and they don't want you wasting money. Many issues resolve on their own.

I hope you can relax sooner rather than later. Hang in there, it will get better.

 

[bigjetplane6]

I know how it goes, believe me! I'm just trying to reassure you, because I've been there and now I'm pretty much on the other side of things, for the most part. They often don't do a biopsy right away, unless they find some reason to suspect that it's more likely immediately harmful to you. "Watch and wait" is a common practice. Doctors don't like to do more than is absolutely necessary, because they don't want to waste their time or yours, and they don't want you wasting money. Many issues resolve on their own.

I hope you can relax sooner rather than later. Hang in there, it will get better.

Woke up feeling out of breathe. I feel like I’m a second away from a panic attack. I’m so stressed out about this; I can’t sleep; can’t think right, can’t be the right mom to my baby or wife to my husband.
Why must we all go through this? Damn.....

I know how it goes, believe me! I'm just trying to reassure you, because I've been there and now I'm pretty much on the other side of things, for the most part. They often don't do a biopsy right away, unless they find some reason to suspect that it's more likely immediately harmful to you. "Watch and wait" is a common practice. Doctors don't like to do more than is absolutely necessary, because they don't want to waste their time or yours, and they don't want you wasting money. Many issues resolve on their own.

I hope you can relax sooner rather than later. Hang in there, it will get better.

How can I overcome this? I have literally convinced myself it’s sinister.
I’m to the point where sometimes I feel like it’s just easier to be gone.... I think I am at the worst state ever with HA. I’m crying as a type this.
Thank you for taking the time to reply to me. You don’t know how much you have helped.
I know you aren’t a “believer” but, God bless you.

 

[Bobnnat]

Nurse Practitioners deal with minor things, freeing up doctors time for more important matters. NP typically see colds, flu, strains, etc. If the NP was truly concerned, she would have had the doctor look at it, even if it meant you would have to wait for a while.

You’re smack dab in a HA episode. God knows I’ve been there too many times to count, so I know how difficult it is and how fleeting reassurance is, if that’s even possible during an episode. But (at least at this.point in time), I’m not suffering thru a HA scare, so I see clearly and with all my being I know you don’t have VC. Also, think about it..if there was truly a fear in the NPs mind, in addition to having the doc see you, you wouldn’t be given the option of waiting..

 

[bigjetplane6]

Nurse Practitioners deal with minor things, freeing up doctors time for more important matters. NP typically see colds, flu, strains, etc. If the NP was truly concerned, she would have had the doctor look at it, even if it meant you would have to wait for a while.

You’re smack dab in a HA episode. God knows I’ve been there too many times to count, so I know how difficult it is and how fleeting reassurance is, if that’s even possible during an episode. But (at least at this.point in time), I’m not suffering thru a HA scare, so I see clearly and with all my being I know you don’t have VC. Also, think about it..if there was truly a fear in the NPs mind, in addition to having the doc see you, you wouldn’t be given the option of waiting..

I see the logic you have. And I wish I could think like that too. It just scares me because all Google says is VC.... Like there isn’t no benign explanation for what I have.
Sorry for getting so annoying with this topic, I’m just getting worse everyday over it and I hope that someone reads it and can relate to me and it’s all good.

 

[Belizz]

I actually had quite a while ago itching and burning down there on vulva, and read and got the same results as you on dr.google because I made the mistake of searching.
Back then I made my ex look at it (because I am so scared of checking body changes myself) so they said nothing was visible.
So this sensation of burning, itching especially in night time comes and goes for about 4-5 years but disappears strangely when I focus on some other scares. Around 2 years ago when I had my regular PAP smear, I asked the nurse if they see anything weird there and I told them I had burning and itching. She said she couldn't see anything.
It came back again a while ago and I made my mom check it out on phone and asked if she sees any changes there on skin, she said she didn't see any.
So I left my fear aside like a body sensation that comes and goes when I focus on it. I assume if it was related to something as serious as C. then it wouldn't disappear no matter what. Maybe your color change is just a coincidence with the feelings you had there. And the color is maybe related to something else?
I also try to reassure myself with things like "it is a very rare C." and "I never heard anyone dying of something like that, maybe there are successful treatment", like that. Dunno. Try to calm yourself as much as you can. I know it's extremely hard.

 

[bigjetplane6]

I actually had quite a while ago itching and burning down there on vulva, and read and got the same results as you on dr.google because I made the mistake of searching.
Back then I made my ex look at it (because I am so scared of checking body changes myself) so they said nothing was visible.
So this sensation of burning, itching especially in night time comes and goes for about 4-5 years but disappears strangely when I focus on some other scares. Around 2 years ago when I had my regular PAP smear, I asked the nurse if they see anything weird there and I told them I had burning and itching. She said she couldn't see anything.
It came back again a while ago and I made my mom check it out on phone and asked if she sees any changes there on skin, she said she didn't see any.
So I left my fear aside like a body sensation that comes and goes when I focus on it. I assume if it was related to something as serious as C. then it wouldn't disappear no matter what. Maybe your color change is just a coincidence with the feelings you had there. And the color is maybe related to something else?
I also try to reassure myself with things like "it is a very rare C." and "I never heard anyone dying of something like that, maybe there are successful treatment", like that. Dunno. Try to calm yourself as much as you can. I know it's extremely hard.

Any color changes?

 

[FlipperK]

My wife has psoriasis and has “patches” down there because of it. Same thing, different color too. Do you have skin conditions?

 

[bigjetplane6]

My wife has psoriasis and has “patches” down there because of it. Same thing, different color too. Do you have skin conditions?

Are they patches though or skin color changes?
There’s no texture to mine. It’s flat, just different color.

 

[bin_tenn]

Woke up feeling out of breathe. I feel like I’m a second away from a panic attack. I’m so stressed out about this; I can’t sleep; can’t think right, can’t be the right mom to my baby or wife to my husband.
Why must we all go through this? Damn.....

That's absolutely typical of anxiety. I understand the feeling entirely. I've gone months feeling "on edge", like I'm going to have a panic attack at any moment.

How can I overcome this? I have literally convinced myself it’s sinister.
I’m to the point where sometimes I feel like it’s just easier to be gone.... I think I am at the worst state ever with HA. I’m crying as a type this.
Thank you for taking the time to reply to me. You don’t know how much you have helped.
I know you aren’t a “believer” but, God bless you.

Since you have a legitimate concern (re: changes in a particular area that seem unwarranted) take care of that first. Once that biopsy is done, and it's not what you think it is, I recommend focusing all that time and energy on combating the root of the problem - anxiety. If possible, you could give therapy a shot. Find a good therapist who is familiar with health anxiety and CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). If you can't do that, spend time researching CBT. Techniques such as acceptance, mindfulness and meditation are major components of that type of therapy. There are plenty of 100% free resources on YouTube and Google.

While you're trying to cope with things in the meantime, I also highly recommend searching for videos by Eckhart Tolle on YouTube. He has some amazing work related to being "present", living "in the now", and letting these unnecessary and unhelpful worries go. Folks who have a confirmed diagnosis of some terminal illness most likely try to spend the majority of their time living in the moment, rather than worrying about what may very well happen to them. They may not have much time left. Since you do, especially if the biopsy does indeed clear you of malignancy, it's best to use your time enjoying life. You don't want to be 85 and regretting all the years spent convinced that "this year will be my last".

Also, as I tell everyone else, feel free to PM me some time if you need an individual to vent to and talk about how to overcome these things. I'm not the only person here open to PM, but I always like to throw the offer out there, just in case.

 

[bigjetplane6]

My wife has psoriasis and has “patches” down there because of it. Same thing, different color too. Do you have skin conditions?

Still there?

 

[bigjetplane6]

That's absolutely typical of anxiety. I understand the feeling entirely. I've gone months feeling "on edge", like I'm going to have a panic attack at any moment.



Since you have a legitimate concern (re: changes in a particular area that seem unwarranted) take care of that first. Once that biopsy is done, and it's not what you think it is, I recommend focusing all that time and energy on combating the root of the problem - anxiety. If possible, you could give therapy a shot. Find a good therapist who is familiar with health anxiety and CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). If you can't do that, spend time researching CBT. Techniques such as acceptance, mindfulness and meditation are major components of that type of therapy. There are plenty of 100% free resources on YouTube and Google.

While you're trying to cope with things in the meantime, I also highly recommend searching for videos by Eckhart Tolle on YouTube. He has some amazing work related to being "present", living "in the now", and letting these unnecessary and unhelpful worries go. Folks who have a confirmed diagnosis of some terminal illness most likely try to spend the majority of their time living in the moment, rather than worrying about what may very well happen to them. They may not have much time left. Since you do, especially if the biopsy does indeed clear you of malignancy, it's best to use your time enjoying life. You don't want to be 85 and regretting all the years spent convinced that "this year will be my last".

Also, as I tell everyone else, feel free to PM me some time if you need an individual to vent to and talk about how to overcome these things. I'm not the only person here open to PM, but I always like to throw the offer out there, just in case.

How supportive of you: Thank you, I appreciate it.
How can I stay positive and convince myself it might not be bad news?
How can I be positive if Google doesn’t show any benign reasons for skin changes down there....

 

[bin_tenn]

How supportive of you: Thank you, I appreciate it.
How can I stay positive and convince myself it might not be bad news?
How can I be positive if Google doesn’t show any benign reasons for skin changes down there....

Lichen schlerosis is one possibility. Like I said, practice acceptance. Accept that anything can happen, and accept that it's just part of life. You'll deal with it appropriately, once your doctor determines the cause, and life will go on.

 

[Iugrad91]

Dr Google is often wrong as all of us can attest to from our experience at one time or another. It is no replacement for a real doctor giving real medical advice. Google search results aim for the most clicks, that’s how they make money. Google is not there to help you, it’s there to make money. You are better off staying away from the internet. Once you get the biopsy you will have more answers. It’s impossible to forget what you’ve already found on Google, but remember that the information is computer generated by what you put in the search bar, not by a doctor that has examined you.

 

[FlipperK]

Still there?

I am here.

They are different in color, lighter.

Look, in another post I listed a few things in which I actually have physical growths that turned out to be benign.

I have white growths on my gums, my left tonsil is larger than my right, and I have a growth under neath my skin next to my belly button. All real physical symptoms that turned out to be... nothing. Benign growths or in the case of my tonsil, normal.


There is something there, I get it, it’s hard to shake it because it’s a real, physical, symptom. However, you have to change your mind set now. You have had it biopsied and looked at. If it turns out to be anything other than benign, you have taken the first step to fixing the issue.

Because, what else can you do? You can’t sit around and just hope and wonder what it may be... you have to figure out what it is so you can get a grasp on it.

You have to accept that. Lift up your chin, take a deep breath, and know that you are taking the right steps to solving this problem. You have to be.

 

[bigjetplane6]

I am here.

They are different in color, lighter.

Look, in another post I listed a few things in which I actually have physical growths that turned out to be benign.

I have white growths on my gums, my left tonsil is larger than my right, and I have a growth under neath my skin next to my belly button. All real physical symptoms that turned out to be... nothing. Benign growths or in the case of my tonsil, normal.


There is something there, I get it, it’s hard to shake it because it’s a real, physical, symptom. However, you have to change your mind set now. You have had it biopsied and looked at. If it turns out to be anything other than benign, you have taken the first step to fixing the issue.

Because, what else can you do? You can’t sit around and just hope and wonder what it may be... you have to figure out what it is so you can get a grasp on it.

You have to accept that. Lift up your chin, take a deep breath, and know that you are taking the right steps to solving this problem. You have to be.

Are they like skin growths, like scaley? Or just the actually skin changing, flat in surface?
I have not had the biopsy yet. They told me to schedule an appointment for it.

 

[FlipperK]

Are they like skin growths, like scaley? Or just the actually skin changing, flat in surface?
I have not had the biopsy yet. They told me to schedule an appointment for it.

Which one are you asking about?

 

[bigjetplane6]

Which one are you asking about?

Your wife