Sudden Anxiety And Fear Of Being Left Out

[softegg]

Today I decided to be spontaneous and bought a ticket to see an EDM artist this Saturday with a friend or so I thought. Turns out my friend had conflicting plan, one that I apparently was invited to and then promptly was forgotten about by my two friends who I thought were going as a group together with me. I was still fine then, thinking I could simply resell the ticket and join the previous plan because I didn't want my friend to have to cancel their plan for me. Until my friend drop the seemingly obvious question of "How are you getting there?" and my heart started sinking when they responded by "Why didn't you contact the person by yourself? But then again they only have two seats left in the car anyway" when I answered that I thought we were going as a group and I was waiting for a response from everyone.

That's fine, no worries but there was a tiny feeling of being left out that was beginning to manifest and I really really really hate it. I have a big fear of being left out, even though I know once it happen I never let it linger in my mind or affect me but I can't help but feel the dread as the days lead up to that event. The conversation eventually changed into the subject of my anxiety and my friend questioning if I'm just refusing to go to the event because my anxiety is holding me back and at this point I didn't know how to tell her that a sudden dread crept up on me and now I can not find it in me to actually go anymore. Maybe it's because I'm defensive about my anxiety but it just felt like she was targeting me even though I know she just wanted to let me know that it was fine and I didn't have to force myself to go. I don't know how to even plain what I'm feeling, sigh.

Finally I decided for sure I didn't want to go to the event anymore and went to find an option to transfer my ticket for resell only to find out that this event was non-refundable and non-transferrable. At this point, my body temperature had started rising and I feel like sobbing tears for being so damn stupid. I've been doing so well ever since the beginning of the year and all it took was a single moment of feeling stupid and left out for it to crumble down instantly. And now I'm just overwhelmed by the urge to delete all of my social media, cut off all contact with my friends and frankly never leaving my house again. Call me overly dramatic but it's the only way that I know how to deal with my feelings of being overwhelmed and worried and I wish I didn't have to feel this way

 

[Cuchculan]

How should you view the overall picture here? You can continue to let yourself go downwards. That would be the easy option. Or you can see it as a small setback. We all have setbacks. They do happen. It is how we deal with them that will determine what happens to us next.

Friends can be strange at the best of times. You can view this as been left out. I can view it as, maybe, them knowing about your anxiety, and not knowing if you could handle something. Only been afraid to ask you. For fear of hurting you. As it worked out it seems they hurt you anyway. Can you see how it can be viewed in two ways? I have no idea how much they know about you and your anxiety. If you have in the past refused offers to go places because of your anxiety? Just throwing idea up here. Not making excuses for them.

In the future ask them to let you what is going on. So you can make your mind up. Just in case they made their mind up for you. So they will know exactly were you stand on things. Plus view it all as a small setback. Something which everybody has. Then get yourself back on your feet and back going again.