I seem to be stuck in the past and it's horrible...I feel like my best days are behind me even though I'm only 23 years old. I spend more time reminiscing on the past than living in the now. The more years that pass by the more sad I feel. I would say 2015 was the last year I could without a doubt say I was genuinely happy. It was the last year I had my grandfather in my life. It's almost like he was the glue that held everything together, and after he passed everything just seemed to fall apart... Everything seemed so normal with him around and now it's not like how it used to be. I don't know what to do to get out of this slump I'm in. I'm alive, but I don't feel like I'm living.
Stuck in the past
- Thread starter JulianG24
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Seems to me this all revolves around you grandfather. I felt the same way when my mom died. I am 81 and she died when I was 50. But I had the same feelings and thought I would never get over it. But you will. There is no time limit for it. Things will get easier and you will get your life back. Try to keep busy with something that interests you. You are young and still have a lot of life ahead of you. Seek medical help if you have to. I did and it did help. Welcome to the forum and I am sure you will hear from people who will be helpful and will know what you are going through.
bin_tenn
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I understand a lot of this. It was kind of the same way when my dad passed in 2014, when I was 27. Sorry you lost your grandfather. It's not easy, by any means. What we must learn is that death is a reality, and it's inevitable. It will happen to everyone eventually, sometimes even to those you wouldn't expect.
My best friend of 23+ years was tragically killed by a drunk driver on March 1 this year. Things don't feel the same without him, and he was 32 years old (my age). I've lost other friends as well, at much younger ages.
If you're having trouble living in the now, and being present, I recommend researching and practicing mindfulness and acceptance. If CBT or other therapy is an option, maybe give that a try. If it's not, you can learn just as much about it on Google and YouTube, but it requires a lot more effort because you're not working face to face with a professional therapist. It's worth it though, IMO.
Eckhart Tolle has many wonderful videos on YouTube, specifically about being present and living in the now. Give his videos a look if you get a chance. There are many others, but Tolle is by far my personal favorite for that subject.
smilingsoul
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John Kabat-Zinn has also done really great things about mindfulness, and how to ease anxiety and depression through them.
bin_tenn
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I'll look into him at some point. I'm always looking for new resources in case I ever need them.
Before you can focus on your future, you need to let go of your past. Good times and bad times, will not change your life. They are goo to remember. But its like missing a dead relative. Which can only bring harm to you. Its the same with your situation. The past holds regrets, and bad choices. If life at the moment was good for you, you would not be thinking of your past.
PRguru_cfj
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I am 24 years old and I can not tell you how many times I dictate my actions from my pass. I got bullied pretty hard in middle school and even got jumped. A super Mario stomp to the face while getting kicked in the nuts does Not feel good. I've been lied to for my soo called friends and I just avoid team activates and friends all together. I always see people laugh at me, hate me, and just use me . I hate everyone and myself even more for the punishment. I've been having a shitty year so that's not gonna make my therapy sessions any easier. But ill managed it when the time comes, or just forget bout it.
MainerMikeBrown
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I also know what it's like to feel stuck in the past.
1993, when I was only fourteen years old, was the worst year of my life. And back then, I was wishing that I could be as happy as I was before 1993.
At the time, I didn't think I'd ever be as happy again like I was before 1993.
1993, when I was only fourteen years old, was the worst year of my life. And back then, I was wishing that I could be as happy as I was before 1993.
At the time, I didn't think I'd ever be as happy again like I was before 1993.
Aries
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I only have bad memories. The strongest is the feud I had with the school computer science teacher. I used to play chess in the computer room during lunch and one day he kicked me out saying e never wanted to see my zitty face in there again. I couldn't let that go unpunished.