struggling

[imsotired]

hey guys, now im starting to want to get out into the community but my social anxiety is too strong like most of the time i cant even handle it.
do you guys ever get the feeling where you are trying so hard to do somethig you dont like or fear, feel like you are doing a great job at it bt in relality your not.

hope that all made sense

i really wnt some friends but i think part of the reason i dont want to make friends is tthat sometimes they come and go. and also I talk so slow i hate it and i am to boring no one will like me. I feel like i am 2 people. 1 being my anxiety is rlly high when i am talking to people and 2 when i am alone i dont experience anxiety at all.

 

[cheer_mom]

I enjoy being around other people, but my anxiety makes me second guess myself. I feel like people don't ike me or I'm not good enough. It sucks. Sometimes I just want to sit at home so i don't have to deal with it all. I understand what you are saying.

 

[He Man]

SoTired, Sorry to hear about your situation..
Do you cultivate online relationships ? It might be a good starting point to practice conversing with people online, or thru the mail. I know there are pen pal programs.. and obviously all kinds of social media(s) to befriend people. I understand it's not the same as in-person socializing, but it's still a way to meet friends and socialize with others.
Good luck, keep us posted on your progress ~

 

[Jonathan123]

It may seem too simple, but as the years have passed I care less and less what others think of me. It then becomes easy to mix. In the doctors the other day there were ten of us in a room waiting for a jab.
Being British we all sat in silence. I began the conversation by asking if we were all there for our third jab. Then everyone opened up and in the end were having a good laugh. 'Breaking the ice' is important. Anyone would be hesitant to strike up a conversation with someone we don't know. Of course, we need to be discerning. But if I act from love and understanding then no harm can come to anyone.
Those who act with a superior attitude and look down on others are so often so insecure. All the outward bluster is to hide a poor cringing person inside. No one is perfect or could ever hope to be, but we need to accept others as they are, warts and all.

 

[imsotired]

SoTired, Sorry to hear about your situation..
Do you cultivate online relationships ? It might be a good starting point to practice conversing with people online, or thru the mail. I know there are pen pal programs.. and obviously all kinds of social media(s) to befriend people. I understand it's not the same as in-person socializing, but it's still a way to meet friends and socialize with others.
Good luck, keep us posted on your progress ~

thankyou ill try that

 

[MATD]

I’ve been going out of my way to be more social. My social anxiety was never as bad as my obsessions and health anxiety but it still impeded me a good deal. Another thing is I’ve always been somewhat a loner. So I took the initiative and I start conversations whenever I get the chance and have casual chats with the clerks in my local stores when possible. I also see a lot of neighbors when out walking my dog and always say at least hello or wave to others out walking their dog. These are great opportunities for me to get back in the social game without committing myself beyond what I am comfortable with right now. I do feel better about myself and apparently it shows just by some nice comments that I’ve received. The biggest thing I think that helped me was to really understand that I am not any better than anyone else, but no one is better than me. I pondered in this for a while and also the fact that no one is perfect, no one. It helped me to put people in general in a better perspective. Anxiety blinds us to a lot of life’s truths I’ve found. It takes a lot of courage to reach out beyond our fear to gain what is waiting beyond that fear, and I find I like it, that there really is nothing to fear. People are going to be people, regardless. There are some that aren’t nice, but there are a lot more that are. I try to keep my focus on the good now, and I really want to keep reaching out beyond my discomfort to others. And I find that the more I try, the less anxious I feel, and the more it comes naturally now. I’m happy with the progress I’ve made so far and I am looking forward to what the future holds. I’ve had the same concerns you have, but you know what?, the more I work on my own self, the less I worry about what others think about me. I’m more concerned about what I think of me. It’s liberating. Hope this helps.