Struggling with acceptance!

[suzzeeb]

So I felt like I was going along fine and was sleeping well, and then after a couple of things happened it completely flipped around in a matter of a couple of days. The first thing was I have talked about having very frequent ectopic heartbeats and so I have been dealing with that but got to the point of being able to deal with it some. Then I had a followup with my cardiologist who said maybe we should just get a treadmill stress test, and I knew that would raise my anxiety some but did it anyway. Well, it came back abnormal and now he wants a CT angiogram. So now I am in spiral mode because this isn't something I made up or can just say oh well, it's just anxiety. This could be significant and I don't know how to think about it to make it not terrifying. Also, and this one sounds stupid,my husband has been bugging me about getting a dog, but we got a puppy a while back and I couldn't deal with it so we re-homed him which was devastating. After that even though I told him I still don't want to deal with it (he works all day and I am home) he got angry and constantly bugged me about it and I couldn't take it mentally so I gave in. We now have a dog which, for some reason, causes me even more anxiety. She is very sweet but still something to take care of.

Anyway, I have not slept in 3 nights and I feel horrendous and feel like I'm getting depressed. How on earth does acceptance work in cases like this where I'm afraid and can't make that fear go away? I can't help feeling fear about what might be going on with my heart, so how do I make that ok in my mind? Thanks for any suggestions.

 

[Phillies Phan]

I will also be interested in the responses from Jonathan and MATD. When we “know” it’s anxiety, it’s hard enough to convince ourselves via acceptance, but I can see how it can help. If we are actually diagnosed with a real ailment, I can see how we need to learn to accept, cope and address living with the diagnosis. But its especially this in between time, like you’re in. From the moment a doctor orders a test until the point you get the result, I personally have been unable to see how acceptance works.

I hope you can have the test ASAP just so you can get thru this period. Do keep in mind that most likely nothing serious will be found, and regardless, if anything needs to be taken care of, it can be. Most heart issues are minimal and adjusted with diet, exercise and/or medication.

By the way, you can look at the dog issue one of two ways…yes, why do you need to deal with the hassle, or you get to look after a cute animal who will give you love and take your mind off of your concerns at least for a bit. It may sound odd, but we have 2 sweet cats and just petting them for a few minutes can calm me down at least for a while.

 

[suzzeeb]

I'm interested in their responses as well. You are right, it is the in between time waiting to see what the issue is. I have the test on the 22nd of this month, but that's a long time to try to not let my mind go to where it usually goes. I feel like I was a little (or a lot) panicked while doing the treadmill. As I started feeling my heart rate go up and getting tired and watching the monitor I freaked out a little so I'm hoping that affected it but who knows. He just walked in and said, "it looks a little funny" but did not elaborate and at that point I was super scared and didn't want to know what he thought it meant.

Agree about the dog. I'm just overwhelmed with her right now but am trying not to over react as much as with the last one. Maybe both things at the same time pushed me over the top.

Thank you for your reassurance. It makes me feel a little better.

 

[MATD]

Acceptance does not prevent life from occurring. It teaches us to stop reacting with fear and negative thinking and offers an alternative way of behavior. Receiving a diagnosis such as you have would be a bit scary for anyone, regardless of whether they had anxiety or not. The good news here is that you kept your appt. in spite of being afraid. Now you can receive proper treatment. Had you not went, you wouldn’t have the opportunity to address the issue.

The ostrich sticks it’s head in the sand when threatened, not aware that the rest of it’s body is very much exposed to the predators. We with anxiety want to bury our head in the sand and pretend that everything will be ok as long as we can’t see that there are always going to be risks in life. But that’s not reality. Adverse things are always going to happen in life and we don’t have the confidence to deal with them. Ignoring or sticking our head in the sand will not stop life from happening. What can happen is that we rise above the fear and determine we can stand in the face of adversity. That’s the whole point of acceptance, choosing to stand and face life or keep our heads stuck in the sand, making poor decisions that can and will cause us more problems that could have been avoided. It’s not about living happily ever after but learning to face and deal with life without falling apart when adversity does come along.

Without adversity, we cannot grow. We are not automatically given the power to deal with adversity, we learn it. We can’t learn and grow without it. How you decide to react is up to you. You can resort to falling to pieces or you can do your best to react more positively to your diagnosis. You can look at it like this, that you kept your appt, and while the news wasn’t good, you now have the opportunity for a more positive outcome. Had you not went, your condition would not be known and you would not have the opportunity for treatment that could well increase your life span. That’s the true reality and all you can do is your best.

 

[Phillies Phan]

Acceptance does not prevent life from occurring. It teaches us to stop reacting with fear and negative thinking and offers an alternative way of behavior. Receiving a diagnosis such as you have would be a bit scary for anyone, regardless of whether they had anxiety or not. The good news here is that you kept your appt. in spite of being afraid. Now you can receive proper treatment. Had you not went, you wouldn’t have the opportunity to address the issue.

The ostrich sticks it’s head in the sand when threatened, not aware that the rest of it’s body is very much exposed to the predators. We with anxiety want to bury our head in the sand and pretend that everything will be ok as long as we can’t see that there are always going to be risks in life. But that’s not reality. Adverse things are always going to happen in life and we don’t have the confidence to deal with them. Ignoring or sticking our head in the sand will not stop life from happening. What can happen is that we rise above the fear and determine we can stand in the face of adversity. That’s the whole point of acceptance, choosing to stand and face life or keep our heads stuck in the sand, making poor decisions that can and will cause us more problems that could have been avoided. It’s not about living happily ever after but learning to face and deal with life without falling apart when adversity does come along.

Without adversity, we cannot grow. We are not automatically given the power to deal with adversity, we learn it. We can’t learn and grow without it. How you decide to react is up to you. You can resort to falling to pieces or you can do your best to react more positively to your diagnosis. You can look at it like this, that you kept your appt, and while the news wasn’t good, you now have the opportunity for a more positive outcome. Had you not went, your condition would not be known and you would not have the opportunity for treatment that could well increase your life span. That’s the true reality and all you can do is your best.

I just want to add that she has not received a “diagnosis”. Something was off with the test. Like Suzzee says, it may well have been her anxiety causing the blip the doctor saw. Or despite the test, the next one may very well show nothing is wrong. And like I said, anything that might be found is highly likely to be minor and easily addressed without anything causing further stress.

It’s just the way you put things, assuming she has a diagnosis and needs to learn to cope with it. Cart before horses.

 

[MATD]

I just want to add that she has not received a “diagnosis”. Something was off with the test. Like Suzzee says, it may well have been her anxiety causing the blip the doctor saw. Or despite the test, the next one may very well show nothing is wrong. And like I said, anything that might be found is highly likely to be minor and easily addressed without anything causing further stress.

It’s just the way you put things, assuming she has a diagnosis and needs to learn to cope with it. Cart before horses.

Ok let’s split hairs. It doesn’t matter whether it was a diagnosis or not. What she is asking about is how does acceptance apply in the face of having a heart issue, a real issue that is not caused by anxiety. Acceptance can still be applied in the face of real, potentially life altering conditions. We can’t just go about life saying everything will be alright when it’s obvious that we all experience things beyond our control that has nothing to do with anxiety. Things in life happen and we can’t smooth it over with empty words like “ you’ll be ok”, because that is a false statement. The reason we have anxiety is because we know adverse events do happen and we don’t have the fortitude or confidence to deal with them effectively, instead we assume the position of the ostrich, head buried in the sand, avoiding reality. We want life to be perfect and go according to how we think it should be, we don’t want challenges, we don’t want adversity. But that ain’t gonna happen. And burying our head in the sand isn’t going to work either. The only way through life is to build traits that help us navigate. If we don’t, then here we all are, stuck in a rut of misery, never enjoying the positive things in life, always afraid to live because of fear. Oh but don’t worry, it’ll be ok. And for the record, I include myself, I’m just as guilty of burying my head in the sand. I’m in the same boat as everyone else with anxiety. The only difference is that I have started opening my eyes and recognize what fear has done to me over the years. And practicing acceptance has helped me do that, by the Grace of God.

 

[suzzeeb]

Ok let’s split hairs. It doesn’t matter whether it was a diagnosis or not. What she is asking about is how does acceptance apply in the face of having a heart issue, a real issue that is not caused by anxiety. Acceptance can still be applied in the face of real, potentially life altering conditions. We can’t just go about life saying everything will be alright when it’s obvious that we all experience things beyond our control that has nothing to do with anxiety. Things in life happen and we can’t smooth it over with empty words like “ you’ll be ok”, because that is a false statement. The reason we have anxiety is because we know adverse events do happen and we don’t have the fortitude or confidence to deal with them effectively, instead we assume the position of the ostrich, head buried in the sand, avoiding reality. We want life to be perfect and go according to how we think it should be, we don’t want challenges, we don’t want adversity. But that ain’t gonna happen. And burying our head in the sand isn’t going to work either. The only way through life is to build traits that help us navigate. If we don’t, then here we all are, stuck in a rut of misery, never enjoying the positive things in life, always afraid to live because of fear. Oh but don’t worry, it’ll be ok.

While all of that makes sense and I know life has adversity and I can't control things in life, I guess I don't know how to not feel the fear to a crazy level. Of course anyone would be concerned thinking something could be wrong, but my fear is at a different level, and even if this next test is normal, there will be other things that happen in life, and I just can't control the amount of fear I feel when things happen. I immediately feel like my life is over and things feel very dark. It is what it is, and I have no choice but to go through it.

 

[MATD]

While all of that makes sense and I know life has adversity and I can't control things in life, I guess I don't know how to not feel the fear to a crazy level. Of course anyone would be concerned thinking something could be wrong, but my fear is at a different level, and even if this next test is normal, there will be other things that happen in life, and I just can't control the amount of fear I feel when things happen. I immediately feel like my life is over and things feel very dark. It is what it is, and I have no choice but to go through it.

Acceptance teaches us that we aren’t trying to get rid of or feel anxiety, but to stop reacting, to face the fear, allow the fear, don’t fight it, feel it, but don’t react to it. Reaction means adding to the fear with OMG’s, what if’s, words like horrible, terrible, judging our selves for having fear, listening to our critical inner voice that always accuses or judges us. It’s this reaction that keeps the fear alive. It is not easy, especially in the beginning, but if we stay persistent, have patience with the process and keep on trying, as best we can at any given time, not expecting ourselves to do it perfectly (because we can’t and won’t), our efforts will be rewarded given time. We expect it to happen quickly, but it just isn’t possible. Why? This isn’t a scratch on the skin that heals in a week, it is long term programming (thinking/feeling/reacting) that has to be replaced with new ways of conducting ourselves. So Suzzeeb, allow yourself the time it takes. Being unsure and impatient is just part of the process. It took a good while for me to get to where I am, but I was just like you, unsure and impatient. But if we persevere, it does get better, especially when we start to see ourselves responding differently to situations, thoughts, feelings. For me, seeing improvement in myself was all I needed to keep me going forward. I still have room for improvement, I’m at about two years of practice and still have issues. The good news is I’m aware of those issues and they are very clear, which makes it easier to work on them.

 

[Phillies Phan]

MATD I have a question for you. First, i wish you nothing but health and a long life.

God forbid, you are experiencing symptoms and go to a doctor. The doctor refers you to a specialist. They are unsure of your diagnosis, but it is possible it can be very serious.

Let’s say, as is typical waiting for appointments that you’ll have 3-6 months until you learn that a) there is nothing seriously wrong, b) there is a serious problem, but it can be managed, or c) you are given an awful diagnosis.

I understand that you are a person of faith, but put that to the side now, since you are stressing acceptance to people who may or may not have such religious faith.

The question is, how do you think, function, interact with others, and basically get thru the next 90-180 days living your life until you learn your fate? With the OP the situation is no where near so dire, but in a smaller way, this is where she is..hopefully the wait time is a lot less. I have found myself in Suzzeeb‘s situation several times, as of course many on this site Have as well.

Thanks for taking the time to think this through and respond.

 

[suzzeeb]

MATD I have a question for you. First, i wish you nothing but health and a long life.

God forbid, you are experiencing symptoms and go to a doctor. The doctor refers you to a specialist. They are unsure of your diagnosis, but it is possible it can be very serious.

Let’s say, as is typical waiting for appointments that you’ll have 3-6 months until you learn that a) there is nothing seriously wrong, b) there is a serious problem, but it can be managed, or c) you are given an awful diagnosis.

I understand that you are a person of faith, but put that to the side now, since you are stressing acceptance to people who may or may not have such religious faith.

The question is, how do you think, function, interact with others, and basically get thru the next 90-180 days living your life until you learn your fate? With the OP the situation is no where near so dire, but in a smaller way, this is where she is..hopefully the wait time is a lot less. I have found myself in Suzzeeb‘s situation several times, as of course many on this site Have as well.

Thanks for taking the time to think this through and respond.

Thank you for asking MATD this question! That's the real issue and I am interested in the answer for this as well. When feeling anxious over something we manufacture in our minds it's somewhat easier (not easy) but easier to put acceptance into practice.

I am a person of faith too, but people are human and for a person with anxiety to begin with, it is still hard to deal with things like this. I believe that God allows things in people's lives and that he has a purpose even in hard things, and maybe that should help me deal with things like this, but it doesn't always.

I feel like maybe people try to make acceptance the answer for everything, but I don't think it is. I think when we are having anxiety symptoms like heart racing, sweating, feeling panicked, etc, etc we can learn to not react to those things knowing they are just adrenaline. Reacting to those symptoms with more fear is something we can control somewhat if we work on it. I am not reacting to the anxiety symptoms I feel, I am reacting to what might be going on.

 

[MATD]

Let’s be clear here. The focus in acceptance is not to get rid of anxiety but to stop the endless reactions to it. Anxiety is a built in system in the body for protection, without it we would enter into many circumstances that would cause us harm.

Your question is trying to put me on the spot. The truth is that one can only do their best at any given time according to what they know and trust to be true. And putting aside my faith is not an option, it is who I am and what I know to be true. So I cannot separate myself from my faith.

Another truth is that we cannot control some things in life, but we can be in control of how we REACT to life’s problems. Some do it better than others because they have developed their confidence by facing life and learning truth, that there are some things in life they cannot control. This is called “acceptance.” They know that all they can do is their best. They have faith and belief in the truth.

Confidence, faith, belief are the things we with anxiety lack. Now you put the pieces together and answer your own question.

 

[suzzeeb]

Let’s be clear here. The focus in acceptance is not to get rid of anxiety but to stop the endless reactions to it. Anxiety is a built in system in the body for protection, without it we would enter into many circumstances that would cause us harm.

Your question is trying to put me on the spot. The truth is that one can only do their best at any given time according to what they know and trust to be true. And putting aside my faith is not an option, it is who I am and what I know to be true. So I cannot separate myself from my faith.

Another truth is that we cannot control some things in life, but we can be in control of how we REACT to life’s problems. Some do it better than others because they have developed their confidence by facing life and learning truth, that there are some things in life they cannot control. This is called “acceptance.” They know that all they can do is their best. They have faith and belief in the truth.

Confidence, faith, belief are the things we with anxiety lack. Now you put the pieces together and answer your own question.

I don't think the question is trying to put you on the spot, but rather to try and understand exactly how acceptance works in real life situations. I think we need practical examples of how it works and asking you how you would react would give us more understanding on how to practice acceptance in a way we can practice and relate to. Just telling people to accept their feelings of anxiety doesn't really help without examples of how to do that.

 

[MATD]

I think I’ll refer you to Carl James book. He makes it very clear about practical application. He taught me how to apply the method. I followed his direction as best I could. I just don’t know that I can explain it any better than he did. Where Dr Weekes books are very clear about anxiety, James gives us a more personal look at how he applied the method. It took me many times of going back and rereading points to clarify in my mind. The problem we face in the beginning is lack of patience. And that’s because of the anxiety. It’s like trying to put out a fire while it’s still being fed fuel. But with time and sticking with it regardless of how we feel (this isn’t working, when will I see any benefits, it’s hopeless, etc, etc, etc), we do make progress. Right here is where I had to step out in faith, I had to decide to stick with it. I had to go back and remember when I first read some of the content of his book before I bought it, it made sense. That’s when I realized that my lack of confidence was causing my doubt, that anxiety was blocking my ability to retain what I had learned. I chose to continue in spite of my doubt. James’ book is reasonably priced, I paid $11 plus shipping. It’s an invaluable tool in conjunction with Dr Weekes’ books.

 

[Phillies Phan]

MATD, In my job there are times when someone responds to an email where I was asking them a direct question, with a gobbilty gook of words. Those words may make sense to them, but I want a direct answer to my question. How do you propose we get the task done? I expect to read something to the effect of “we do step A and if that doesn’t work we do step B”. And what about if part 2 of step A is failing miserably? I’d expect a suggestion, or the responders thoughts on how specifically to deal with step 2 failing.

Sorry MATD but what I’m reading from you is basically “**** happens” and deal with it with whatever you have.You have faith..good for you. Someone is going to read this and say, hey what about me? I don’t have faith. What do I do? Specific examples MATD, which it appears you’re not able to provide. And that’s OK. Maybe there is no good answer. Struggle thru the wait in any manner you can, and if you can’t, sucks to be you.

Face it. Many of us, even after reading every book on the subject, or even signing up with Dr. Terry, are simply going to go thru their own personal hell while they wait and see how the rest of their life is going to turn out. Some things for some people have no good answer.

 

[Cuchculan]

If acceptance and Dr. Claire Weeks was the answer to everything anxiety and every other mental health issue would be solved by now. I would put them down as simply guidelines. There to try and direct / stir some people in a certain direction. But they are not the only answer. There is loads more work to be done. Not just a case of accept what you have and read a Claire Weeks book and you are cured. If only life was that simple. There are people who do find this method hard. Just like there are people who find CBT hard. Some methods work for some people and not for other people. Those other people have to on searching for what will work for them. I am sure there is another answer. I always say if you find something that works for you people can't question it. It is your answer. And if we all have different answers, then so be it. There is no one answer. That would be too easy. What you see written up on forums like this is what worked for the person making that post. Does that mean it will work for all of us? No. That does not mean that at all. It is a suggestion. Try it and see what happens. If it doesn't work for you, you go look for something else. Until you find that something that works for you.

 

[MATD]

MATD, In my job there are times when someone responds to an email where I was asking them a direct question, with a gobbilty gook of words. Those words may make sense to them, but I want a direct answer to my question. How do you propose we get the task done? I expect to read something to the effect of “we do step A and if that doesn’t work we do step B”. And what about if part 2 of step A is failing miserably? I’d expect a suggestion, or the responders thoughts on how specifically to deal with step 2 failing.

Sorry MATD but what I’m reading from you is basically “**** happens” and deal with it with whatever you have.You have faith..good for you. Someone is going to read this and say, hey what about me? I don’t have faith. What do I do? Specific examples MATD, which it appears you’re not able to provide. And that’s OK. Maybe there is no good answer. Struggle thru the wait in any manner you can, and if you can’t, sucks to be you.

Face it. Many of us, even after reading every book on the subject, or even signing up with Dr. Terry, are simply going to go thru their own personal hell while they wait and see how the rest of their life is going to turn out. Some things for some people have no good answer.

I had a difficult time with frustration, which I’ll take the liberty of saying you suffer from it too. It’s obvious. One of the things I did was to face that frustration, I had to recognize the difficulty in my daily life it caused. So I accepted it, I started paying attention to my frustration, I didn’t try to fight with it to get rid of it, instead I would tell myself that I was frustrated, but that it was ok because it was just part of the anxiety. So what i did was face it, allow it to exist in me and I didn’t fight against it, I just felt it without reacting to it by hating on myself for feeling it. Instead I would tell myself I was Switzerland, neutral, no judgment, no hating myself for it. The mental image of being Switzerland was a God-send. Now mind you my practice wasn’t perfect. Many times I reacted before I could conjure up my image of being Switzerland. That’s where I had to start forgiving myself and I did it as best I could because I would berate myself for my failure. Sooooo...this is how it goes to this day. I apply all the elements of acceptance as best I can. I don’t get it right all the time and when I don’t, it’s ok, Here’s where I learned to apply self forgiveness. It’s a work in progress.
This is just a little bit of an example of how I practice. This is why I think James’ book is necessary. If I try to explain, I would need to write a book on here. And that’s not necessary as James has already written it. He addresses the very questions you ask, gives his own personal example of how he practices. Where Dr Weekes’ gives a very good presentation of her method, James adds that personal touch we can connect to.

If acceptance and Dr. Claire Weeks was the answer to everything anxiety and every other mental health issue would be solved by now. I would put them down as simply guidelines. There to try and direct / stir some people in a certain direction. But they are not the only answer. There is loads more work to be done. Not just a case of accept what you have and read a Claire Weeks book and you are cured. If only life was that simple. There are people who do find this method hard. Just like there are people who find CBT hard. Some methods work for some people and not for other people. Those other people have to on searching for what will work for them. I am sure there is another answer. I always say if you find something that works for you people can't question it. It is your answer. And if we all have different answers, then so be it. There is no one answer. That would be too easy. What you see written up on forums like this is what worked for the person making that post. Does that mean it will work for all of us? No. That does not mean that at all. It is a suggestion. Try it and see what happens. If it doesn't work for you, you go look for something else. Until you find that something that works for you.

One doesn’t just read a Claire Weekes book and is cured. In that you do err. It takes work, lots of it, and time, lots of it, and learning many things, lots of them, developing patience, learning how to persevere. It takes learning how to be honest with one’s self, it requires learning how to forgive one’s self, learning to let go of control. These are by no means an easy feat. The things one can learn from practicing acceptance is vast if one wants to know truth. Of course acceptance cannot cure brain dysfunctions such as schizophrenia or autism, but acceptance can be useful in these same conditions. Sometimes the answers are right in front of us but we never see them because we are too caught up in false beliefs or cannot expand our thinking beyond what we can see/perceive.

 

[Cuchculan]

I said just that. They are guidelines. A lot of other work has to be done too. But were some might find some things useful and helpful, others might struggle with that method and need to try and find something else that works for them.

 

[Jonathan123]

Of course nothing ever works for everyone. If it doesn't work for you then leave it alone. The old saying comes to mind, 'you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink'. Acceptance is difficult, there are no two ways about that, but it can be done given the will and the perseverance. It is not an instant cure or even a temporary relief like medication, but a 24/7 process.
It has nothing to do with religion or any such concept. I have quoted this before so please bear with me. The pendulum of a grandfather clock swings to and fro, the pairs of opposites as in life. We live in a world of opposites. Everything has it's opposite and we have the choice as to which one we choose. But at the fulcrum, from which the pendulum swings there is no movement. The fulcrum can watch the pendulum swing but IS NOT MOVED BY IT.
This is a good analogy with acceptance. Acceptance is giving up the struggle, the fight, the violent reactions. It means letting it all come without a struggle or any a desire to 'get rid of 'IT'. It means watching, being an observer but not a participant.
There is no doubt that anxiety can teach us so much about ourselves, and as such could be seen as a friend as well as an enemy. I know this from my own experience. Prior to anxiety, (GAD for over three years), I was not a very nice person. But of course I could not see that at the time. Anxiety changed me beyond all recognition. Because is showed me where I was going wrong. Now this was with help and guidance from a good counsellor, but acceptance was practised and it worked.
I still do it when anxiety creeps in, as it does on occasions. I no longer react but act. Action is always spontaneous. Reaction is always based on previous experience. 'Action in no action' as the Buddhists say. Do nothing. No fighting or engaging in the 'what ifs' and the 'OMG's'. Just see the symptoms as an illusion, smoke and mirrors.
I am assuming you have had a medical checkup. So many give up too soon because there are no immediate results. Give it time. Patience is not something anxiety sufferers have a lot of.
But does it really matter if acceptance is not for you? There are many other therapies along the way that may be more suitable. Those of us who have had the experience of acceptance and it has worked for us would never want to thrust the idea on others. In anxiety we are as if in a big hall with many doors leading off into different rooms. The doors are marked and we have the choice of which door to go through. Once you decide which door to go through stick with it. No 'leapfrogging' from one therapy after another. That can only lead to confusion and despair. Time and more time is necessary.

 

[suzzeeb]

Of course nothing ever works for everyone. If it doesn't work for you then leave it alone. The old saying comes to mind, 'you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink'. Acceptance is difficult, there are no two ways about that, but it can be done given the will and the perseverance. It is not an instant cure or even a temporary relief like medication, but a 24/7 process.
It has nothing to do with religion or any such concept. I have quoted this before so please bear with me. The pendulum of a grandfather clock swings to and fro, the pairs of opposites as in life. We live in a world of opposites. Everything has it's opposite and we have the choice as to which one we choose. But at the fulcrum, from which the pendulum swings there is no movement. The fulcrum can watch the pendulum swing but IS NOT MOVED BY IT.
This is a good analogy with acceptance. Acceptance is giving up the struggle, the fight, the violent reactions. It means letting it all come without a struggle or any a desire to 'get rid of 'IT'. It means watching, being an observer but not a participant.
There is no doubt that anxiety can teach us so much about ourselves, and as such could be seen as a friend as well as an enemy. I know this from my own experience. Prior to anxiety, (GAD for over three years), I was not a very nice person. But of course I could not see that at the time. Anxiety changed me beyond all recognition. Because is showed me where I was going wrong. Now this was with help and guidance from a good counsellor, but acceptance was practised and it worked.
I still do it when anxiety creeps in, as it does on occasions. I no longer react but act. Action is always spontaneous. Reaction is always based on previous experience. 'Action in no action' as the Buddhists say. Do nothing. No fighting or engaging in the 'what ifs' and the 'OMG's'. Just see the symptoms as an illusion, smoke and mirrors.
I am assuming you have had a medical checkup. So many give up too soon because there are no immediate results. Give it time. Patience is not something anxiety sufferers have a lot of.
But does it really matter if acceptance is not for you? There are many other therapies along the way that may be more suitable. Those of us who have had the experience of acceptance and it has worked for us would never want to thrust the idea on others. In anxiety we are as if in a big hall with many doors leading off into different rooms. The doors are marked and we have the choice of which door to go through. Once you decide which door to go through stick with it. No 'leapfrogging' from one therapy after another. That can only lead to confusion and despair. Time and more time is necessary.

I think the problem with it is, nobody really understands exactly how to practice it in real life situations. I mean when real life things happen, what does it look like. I have had many times in life where I feel anxious for no reason and go off the deep end. I see the benefit of acceptance in those situations. Nothing is wrong so accept that it is anxiety and let it go (or at least the best you can) and then the anxiety will slowly fade because your brain comes to terms with the fact that there is no danger.

However, in people with anxiety, real things happen too, like the situation I am in. Hopefully it turns out to be nothing, but ever since that test that showed something might be wrong, my anxiety has gone way up. I feel all kinds of weird things in my chest and I wonder if I ignored these things before or are they new, and are they because there is something really wrong or is it all just anxiety? So now, acceptance doesn't seem to work for my anxiety. What am I accepting? That what I feel now is all anxiety? Maybe but maybe not. Most people will face something like this in life, so is there a way to make the acceptance thing make sense in this situation. Do I try to think oh well, it all anxiety?, because I don't know for sure. So say you had something going on like this, what would your thoughts be while waiting to find out? That would be helpful to those of us struggling with this.

 

[MATD]

I think the problem with it is, nobody really understands exactly how to practice it in real life situations. I mean when real life things happen, what does it look like. I have had many times in life where I feel anxious for no reason and go off the deep end. I see the benefit of acceptance in those situations. Nothing is wrong so accept that it is anxiety and let it go (or at least the best you can) and then the anxiety will slowly fade because your brain comes to terms with the fact that there is no danger.

However, in people with anxiety, real things happen too, like the situation I am in. Hopefully it turns out to be nothing, but ever since that test that showed something might be wrong, my anxiety has gone way up. I feel all kinds of weird things in my chest and I wonder if I ignored these things before or are they new, and are they because there is something really wrong or is it all just anxiety? So now, acceptance doesn't seem to work for my anxiety. What am I accepting? That what I feel now is all anxiety? Maybe but maybe not. Most people will face something like this in life, so is there a way to make the acceptance thing make sense in this situation. Do I try to think oh well, it all anxiety?, because I don't know for sure. So say you had something going on like this, what would your thoughts be while waiting to find out? That would be helpful to those of us struggling with this.

If I may, I do know how to accept in real life situations. The first thing is face the situation without reacting with a plethora of OMG’s, I’m gonna die, etc. Acceptance has taught me to face these situations and not react. Instead of reacting I act, I choose to be rational and examine the situation and the options. What you don’t understand is that it takes a lot of time to reach this point of being able to face and accept. And it is done by practice, lots of it. No one can face a bad situation without some level of anxiety. The difference is in confidence, faith and self discipline, how much of it we have and how we use it. These are vital elements in navigating life. And we lack them, we never learned them, we don’t use what we know to be true, instead we react, letting fear take over. In your situation, you don’t fight the anxiety, you accept that there is a problem causing the anxiety. And you face it as best you can without adding more fuel to the fire, OMG’s, what if, worst case scenarios. Instead, as best you can, you look at the situation in a more optimistic manner. You counter every thought with truth, “i have options, it isn’t the end, I can do this to the best of my ability, God is with me”. It’s these truthful positive thoughts and facing your situation without reacting negatively that builds the necessary traits we need. But it does not happen over night but takes time. Adjust you expectations to match this. Rome was not built in a day, recovery takes time, lots of it.