Struggling mom

[Jenn046228]

hello everyone...how are you all feeling today? Me not so good! Has anyone every felt like the world is better off with you not in it? There are times that I feel like that but I keep going to set a good example for my son, who is only four. My son Denim is my world and sometimes he is all that I live for. At times my anxiety becomes so high that I worry that I am not a good mother and I tend to yell at him a lot but do not mean to...can anyone help me!

 

[guitarman65]

The fact that you're on here trying to get support shows you're a good mom Jenn.

The feeling of worthlessness follows all of us anxiety sufferers at times, im going thru some feelings like that myself lately. Time and time again, it gets better, but each time it seems like it wont!

This is tough when it feels like this for sure, but family keeps us going. Life seems unfair when we have to just wait for these damn "funks" to go away!

I keep telling myself, it could be worse. While this is true...it doesn't feel like it sometimes!

Hang in there girl, we're all in this with you

 

[Jenn046228]

Thanks so much for that I really appreciate it!

 

[guitarman65]

 

[He Man]

My son Denim is my world and sometimes he is all that I live for. At times my anxiety becomes so high that I worry that I am not a good mother and I tend to yell at him a lot but do not mean to...can anyone help me!

Jenn, hi..
I'm not sure how other parents here feel.. but I think it's ok to share our (basic) state of mind with our kids. Children can be surprisingly compassionate, & it helps relieve them from wondering about our quick tempered responses etc.
I get dizzy from time to time, and I'll say, I'm dizzy today, bear with me if I'm a little cranky with you, etc.. Obviously a kid as young as your 4 year old won't understand all the elements of anxiety. But I think he could still empathize w/a bad day (?) And I definitely believe over the years a parent's candor about anxiety, cultivates understanding from the child.. they're not left confused & hurt by parental quick tempers, displaced frustration, etc. Just my opinion though.

 

[ILiza29]

Jenn, hi..
I'm not sure how other parents here feel.. but I think it's ok to share our (basic) state of mind with our kids. Children can be surprisingly compassionate, & it helps relieve them from wondering about our quick tempered responses etc.
I get dizzy from time to time, and I'll say, I'm dizzy today, bear with me if I'm a little cranky with you, etc.. Obviously a kid as young as your 4 year old won't understand all the elements of anxiety. But I think he could still empathize w/a bad day (?) And I definitely believe over the years a parent's candor about anxiety, cultivates understanding from the child.. they're not left confused & hurt by parental quick tempers, displaced frustration, etc. Just my opinion though.

Wow, I’m sorry this is happening to you.

 

[Hurt&Hopeful]

Jenn, hi..
I'm not sure how other parents here feel.. but I think it's ok to share our (basic) state of mind with our kids. Children can be surprisingly compassionate, & it helps relieve them from wondering about our quick tempered responses etc.
I get dizzy from time to time, and I'll say, I'm dizzy today, bear with me if I'm a little cranky with you, etc.. Obviously a kid as young as your 4 year old won't understand all the elements of anxiety. But I think he could still empathize w/a bad day (?) And I definitely believe over the years a parent's candor about anxiety, cultivates understanding from the child.. they're not left confused & hurt by parental quick tempers, displaced frustration, etc. Just my opinion though.

I couldn't agree more with this. Yeah, they can't understand everything when they're young, but our children are much more in tune with what's going on around them than we might think. The truth is we can't hide our anxiety from them - it's going to come out one way or another, either through angry outbursts, tension that we pass on to them, mixed signals, etc. Isn't it better to sit down and talk to them about it? My son is 5, almost 6 - he can't understand an anxiety disorder, but he knows what it feels like to be scared. He knows what it feels like to be angry. Shouldn't we teach our kids how to deal with this just like we teach them how to deal with bullies, with rational fears, about hygiene and nutrition.....why is this any different? I think we make a big mistake when we try to appear perfect to our kids - we think that's what it means to be consistent and stable, but it's not. We can be consistent by talking to them in healthy ways.
@Jenn046228 , you have nothing to feel guilty about - you don't choose the anxiety any more than you would choose cancer. You love your little boy, and he knows that - keep working on yourself, and let him see it. You got htis.

 

[Jenn046228]

You are so right, and lately I have been trying to redirect and talk with my son instead of yelling all the time. I feel as though my yelling is what is making him act out at times and yet I can't stop myself from doing it. Lately though I have been telling myself just talk to him and be calm about it and it will get though to him. Yesterday my son told me "mommy i'm mad at you and I asked why, he said because i don't want to hold your hand and you need to sit down and quite your mouth, I was shocked but at the same time relieved because he was talking to me