Strangers chatting

[CarlosTL]

I really do feel uncomfortable and stressed when complete strangers come to have a conversation with me, (which happens often I have no idea why).


How do you cope with such situations? Rejecting people without being rude, either because you are in no mood to talk or you have no intention of befriending that type of person? Some people seem to manage this seamlessly whereas for me this is a source of social anxiety and apprehension when I'm around a lot of people and susceptible to be approached by anybody at any moment.

 

[hades_leae]

I used to suffer from this but I had to come up with my own methods because I knew that it was not average for some people to do what you want to do. I would recommend things like these: Tell them that you honestly are not in the mood to talk, and if you want just say no disrespect to them, so that their mood is not messed up from the encounter, or so that they don't think they did something wrong.


People tend to be really emotional and always pin something bad that happened on themselves and make themselves suffer trying to figure out what they did.


You could also tell them that your not really social, and don't like talking, possibly even letting them know that you have anxiety issues and communicating with strangers make you feel uncomfortable right now, they'll understand.

 

[CarlosTL]

The less than optimal solution I've come up with until now is avoiding eye contact, always appear busy, putting headphones when in a train or something. That seems to put off some people but that is still stressful. I don't know how to handle this. It has become an additional source of discomfort, because I say to myself: do I look like a nice guy? Or what are these people motives?


When I am on a train or sitting in some waiting space, or just sitting in a parked car, I always get those people trying to start a conversation or coming up with some kind of odd request (the time, want to make a phone call, directions, need help filling this form can you help...). People don't realize how bothersome they are. I don't even like answering calls of people I know so imagine complete strangers coming to you as if you were wearing a "help desk"/"Do you need a friend?" hat.

 

[Alex]

I know some are just being friendly, but often I just want to be alone and quiet. I avoid eye contact and I wear dark sunglasses most of the time. You can always pull out your phone and look at things to avoid conversation.


I don't think the majority have any motive, but older people are used to talking to pass the time and some people do need help. I don't mind helping others to be honest and then once it's done it's back to my own space.

 

[artyarson]

All you have to understand that this fear is irrational. If you ask something that's not considered to be offensive = you won't get a negative reaction. At least, most of the time. Some strangers are having a bad day and we have to acknowledge that. The interaction is always 50/50 thing.


There's one of the ways to tackle the anxiety:


Ask for directions or anything similar that's considered to be a low-risk question. 10 times a day.

 

[janemariesayed]

I really do feel uncomfortable and stressed when complete strangers come to have a conversation with me, (which happens often I have no idea why).


How do you cope with such situations? Rejecting people without being rude, either because you are in no mood to talk or you have no intention of befriending that type of person? Some people seem to manage this seamlessly whereas for me this is a source of social anxiety and apprehension when I'm around a lot of people and susceptible to be approached by anybody at any moment.

As I have anxiety and agoraphobia I do my best to avoid people. I am okay in a room with three people but any more and I go quiet. If I am out and a stranger talks to me it depends on who they are. Sometimes I have had drunks come up to me and I try and face the other way. If a person isn't drunk or threatening then I am happy to speak with them and do so easily.