Starting at a new school/Getting a new job.

[Laneorexorcist]

When it comes to meeting new people or adapting to new situations is always a challenge for me, especially if I'm aware that I'm going to be there for a relatively long amount of time. I had this feeling when I first got into college and every semester is basically the same, because I'm not sure with what people I'm going to share class with, and there's a few people of my generation that makes me really uncomfortable, and I don't even know why.


Has anyone been through any similar experiences?


It would be nice to hear some more opinions on this topic.

 

[ProNine]

I remember when I started Highschool. It was the first day with 40 students, 20 of which were new, the other 20 were students whom I've known from middle school. On the first day, I decided to introduce myself slowly but surely to all the new students. Should it have been difficult? Yes, I'm very nervous around people and feel awkward and unwilling to converse unless necessary. Was it difficult? No, not at all. I kept reminding myself that those 20 students are the new ones, so technically, I'm at an advantage so there's nothing to worry about. Of course, this mainly worked because I wasn't the new guy. However, if I were at a new place, I would introduce myself calmly to everyone and in a kind manner. One thing you can do is follow the tips I gave in another thread. Basically, one thing you need to remember is that really, social anxiety can be dealt with. You don't have to simply take and accept what your mind is telling you. Remind yourself, "I'm not perfect. Even if I make some silly remarks or embarrass myself a little, who cares? The world isn't going to end and no one will actually care that much about it. Just relax and enjoy myself." As for people of your generation, I'd assume that we are of the same generation, to which I will say, yes, some people really do make me uncomfortable because of their unpredictability and cryptic ways of saying things.

 

[liselle]

I'm starting college this fall and I'm really worried over it. It seems like everyone gets along pretty well with the incoming class while I'm reluctant to do anything. I know that I don't fit in like everyone else and that makes me feel a lot more pressure. A lot of people started talking to each other and made friends while I still think that introducing myself takes all my energy away.

 

[Schons]

My wife's panic attacks started when she graduated from 12th grade and entered college. She went a small private Christian school up until 12th grade and then entered a public college. I guess the change was drastic for her. I personally think for her it was mainly genetics though since both her grandmother and father have panic attacks as well.

 

[kelden]

It brought me excitement and a great deal of anxiety in the past, right now I grew accustomed to new situations. Since I always did poorly with my social life during school years, I always saw starting in a new school as a way to have a fresh start and make friends, but It was almost always the same. Being the shy pushover guy of the classroom.

 

[Pandora]

Every time I start a new job or new term of college I go through the same thing. I think I am not doing the job correctly, I think I am failing the term, or I get frustrated because I don't know if I am good enough. This happened all the time or when ever I start something new. I believe I am not good enough or I can't get things right. I force myself all of times to breath and relax but, after so many new situations a person can get tried of talking to themselves over and over. I know I do but, I still force myself to keep on trying. Something is bound to get better.

 

[Jean Thomas]

It’s so easy to overburden yourself when it comes to school, often times we don’t realize how stressed we’re making ourselves until we take a step back to breathe for a moment. Remember, it’s okay to ask for help with school or work, you don’t have to take everyone on by yourself. Taking a day off of school to handle your mental health is okay. This does not make you any less of a person.


Taking care of your mental health allows you to focus on yourself and how to decrease your anxiety so you will be able to handle everything in a healthy manner again. If you’re in school, do try to talk to your teachers or professors about your anxiety, a lot will be understanding and work with you to accommodate and lessen your anxiety. If you’re in college, you can go to your counseling department as well as the testing center to work with them for accommodations.


One thing most colleges offer is to allow you to take your test at the testing center instead of in the classroom. This allows for a quiet environment with less distractions so you can feel at ease and focus fully on your exam. Don’t be ashamed of seeking help.

 

[rootle]

Yeah I started college two years ago and it was pretty hard for sure, especially because I was an international student. I guess you generally get used to it and don't feel as nervous. The problem I have is getting used to people here and being able to communicate with them the same way I could with my older friends. It's especially worrying considering that I anticipate a lot of moving around in my life and don't know how I will be able to deal with meeting all the new people and making new friends every time I move.

 

[misskatiej]

When I first moved away to college it was a small private Christian college that I only attended because my father graduated from there and I figured I wasn't going to find a safer campus. However, the students were very judgmental and the "bible thumper" type of people who I have never identified with. I found I had to hide many of my views if I wanted to socially interact with them because any time I tried to explain that gay people weren't evil or that women have the right to choose what happens to their bodies their heads about exploded.


I also had extreme anxiety about the food court. I hated eating alone and because I had to work earlier than all my friends had to be up I never had anyone to go to breakfast with. I would run through the cafeteria and smuggle a bagel out (which was against the endless rules) to eat at my desk. In the event I got caught trying to take a bagel out of the cafe I would sit in the furthest corner from everyone facing a wall hoping no one recognized me and eat as quickly as I could to get the whole ordeal over with.

 

[shcoo]

misskatiej I had the same issue with my college cafeteria. I would smuggle out three meals at once and tons of pastries and shove them under my bed for later because the cafeteria noise and chaos was so intimidating. No one would ever accompany me.


I loved learning in college and eventually getting to write papers about niche topics that I was passionate about, but my social life was nonexistent. I had free time and I tried very hard to make friends, but I did not make a single friend in all four years. I keep in touch with my roommate and consider her a friend, but none of my attempts to reach out to classmates or random people on campus were successful. It made me feel very alone and more insecure.


I have had two full time jobs since graduating. One was a retail job. Some of the coworkers tried to befriend me but they backed away once they got to know me better because they decided we were not compatible. I even tried to make friends with a few customers I thought I had something in common with but that did not work either. My current job is a data entry cubicle job where there is really no chance to make any friends, but at least it is a low-pressure environment.


So, after this sob story, my advice to you when entering a new class or a new job would be this: focus all your energy on learning or on being the best at your job. You will feel very fulfilled and accomplished, and other people will notice! If they are truly good friend material, they will gravitate toward you and congratulate you. You can share ideas with each other about the work at hand, and then talk about other things to bond over. Others may call you "teacher's pet" but don't worry about them, they are not worth getting to know.

 

[fuzyon]

I know what that feels like, I have trouble fitting into new groups and whenever I start a new job the main struggle is to get accustomed to my co-workers which is stressful. That being said, you shouldn't be scared to interact with new people and step out of your comfort zone a bit, after all some of them are probably going through difficult times as well and I'm sure they wouldn't mind someone to talk to. Remember that when you start a new semester no one knows anybody and that's the time you can make some friends. Good luck in the future!