Speaking up

[BlueLily]

Hi everyone
I am new to the community and have never done anything like this so please let me know if anything I am writing or doing should be adjusted.
I have suffered from social anxiety and although I have only realized and admitted that to myself within the last 5 years, it has impacted me since before I could remember. I am married to a wonderful and understanding man who always stands by me and as of lately, we have started discussing the possibility of having children.
Here is where I need your help. Part of my significant others family is very opinionated and does not hesitate to make anyone who sees the world differently to their perspective feel guilty and honestly, just plain stupid. They have also manipulated my significant others mother, and she is now completely mesmerized by their holier than though lifestyle therefore never puts her foot down. In the past, when these situations have come up, Ive mostly smiled and nodded. Partially because I didn't want to argue but you guessed it, the main reason for that is my anxiety and not being able to just say "I don't agree". How can I get around my inability to disagree out loud without compromising our views on raising a child and without being made to feel like a horrible person and a bad mom? My anxiety has me doubting myself enough, I dint need it from exterior sources as well. Has anyone had this issue or can anyone offer some advice?

Thank you in advance

 

[Concernedgal]

Of course your doubting yourself. You have anxiety. And did you know that it's a form of bullying. And it's childish... it's like when you were a child and your friend that came over said (you either play my way or i'm going home). That's how I see it anyways. You simply just can't be afraid to put your foot down and say ( I disagree ) you have a right to your own opinion and they need to know that. Now how to execute that. Next time they offer there "opinion " just say the reason you disagree but before that you say ( no disrespect but,...) and just say why you disagree and if he or she starts in on you do that magic trick that woman have used for years..start crying. Usually when you cry... it's shuts down any opportunity for arugment.

 

[janemariesayed]

Hello @BlueLily firstly, you are married to your husband, and not his whole family. So any kind of opinions only needs to be discussed or agreed upon between the two of you. Don't worry about just doing the nods to keep the peace, but when you are alone with your husband, you and he can talk about how you both want to raise your children.

As you will be a mother, your inner mum will make you speak up when you need to.