Hi guys I'm new and have decided after 18+ years I have to reach out and get some help or advice.
Its currently 2.15am in the UK and I am terrified of going to sleep, I have lay looking at a 4 inch gap in my door for the past 2 hours trying to catch "someone" walking past or opening or closing my door. The door has closed a few times I think due to wind but when it does I jump up and open it again.
I know the reason I am frightened to go to sleep is in case someone is in my house and tries to take or hurt my kids, I had my first child at 18 I'm 35 now and its started with the first child. As they got older it lessened but still played up at certain times of the year but it did lesson, with my last child who is 6 she is disabled, mute and well doesn't know what night and day is, so if someone was to be in her room she wouldn't even shout out, feel fear or move tbh I think she would think they wanted to play.
I've had to get up because the fear has got my stomach hurting, my eyes are sore off looking through the dark gap and my head is killing from the stress. I done a walk through of the house before bed so I know in my mind there is no one in here but then I wonder if they are in the house and hiding as I've done the walk through then waiting to come out at night when I'm asleep and take my kid.
I hear every single noise in the house, I know every noise in the house and with having a disabled child I wake up at every noise thinking she might be up and need help of some kind. I can sleep fine during the day when the kids are at school or when their dad is home caring for them but when night time comes I am ill with anxiety its got worse since my partner started work Monday before last, he sleeps like a log and sleeps through the kids crying when they are ill or cars going past the house. He can sleep so well I am so jealous I wanna punch him because I feel like the safety of my kids at night depends on me alone.
I dunno if I have symptoms of Somniphobia or anxiety or anything else. I do have auditory hallucinations, mostly when pregnant but have had then when I haven't been. During my first pregnancy I had visual hallucinations during the pregnancy but then afterwards was when the fear of going to sleep in case someone took the kids, so much so I slept with my babies on my chest all night any movement woke me so I would know if someone took them. Their dad knew never to move them and never did but I feel its spiraling now and Im feeling a different type of frightened.
Anyone got any advice apart from seeing my doctor?
Thanks guys
There is certain things I cant do at night due to my child's illness,
Turn lights on, open her door to check on her once she has fell asleep, use the loo, make any noise at all. If her sleep is affected there is just hell for everyone eg: if she has 20 mins sleep she is awake for the next 18-22 hours, she is on meds for sleeping but it doesn't keep her alseep
Its currently 2.15am in the UK and I am terrified of going to sleep, I have lay looking at a 4 inch gap in my door for the past 2 hours trying to catch "someone" walking past or opening or closing my door. The door has closed a few times I think due to wind but when it does I jump up and open it again.
I know the reason I am frightened to go to sleep is in case someone is in my house and tries to take or hurt my kids, I had my first child at 18 I'm 35 now and its started with the first child. As they got older it lessened but still played up at certain times of the year but it did lesson, with my last child who is 6 she is disabled, mute and well doesn't know what night and day is, so if someone was to be in her room she wouldn't even shout out, feel fear or move tbh I think she would think they wanted to play.
I've had to get up because the fear has got my stomach hurting, my eyes are sore off looking through the dark gap and my head is killing from the stress. I done a walk through of the house before bed so I know in my mind there is no one in here but then I wonder if they are in the house and hiding as I've done the walk through then waiting to come out at night when I'm asleep and take my kid.
I hear every single noise in the house, I know every noise in the house and with having a disabled child I wake up at every noise thinking she might be up and need help of some kind. I can sleep fine during the day when the kids are at school or when their dad is home caring for them but when night time comes I am ill with anxiety its got worse since my partner started work Monday before last, he sleeps like a log and sleeps through the kids crying when they are ill or cars going past the house. He can sleep so well I am so jealous I wanna punch him because I feel like the safety of my kids at night depends on me alone.
I dunno if I have symptoms of Somniphobia or anxiety or anything else. I do have auditory hallucinations, mostly when pregnant but have had then when I haven't been. During my first pregnancy I had visual hallucinations during the pregnancy but then afterwards was when the fear of going to sleep in case someone took the kids, so much so I slept with my babies on my chest all night any movement woke me so I would know if someone took them. Their dad knew never to move them and never did but I feel its spiraling now and Im feeling a different type of frightened.
Anyone got any advice apart from seeing my doctor?
Thanks guys
There is certain things I cant do at night due to my child's illness,
Turn lights on, open her door to check on her once she has fell asleep, use the loo, make any noise at all. If her sleep is affected there is just hell for everyone eg: if she has 20 mins sleep she is awake for the next 18-22 hours, she is on meds for sleeping but it doesn't keep her alseep
