Socially acceptable

Rinka · Nov 8, 2017

Well the social construct of gender roles defiantly plays a big part in acceptance of anxiety disorder in men. Like you said, men tend not to talk about it, but you will find, that both sexes experience anxiety and panic disorders equally. Think about the lonely old man that everyone knows but never sees. He might have isolated himself, because of social anxiety, but everyone else thinks he is just creepy a weirdo.
Anxiety can also trigger aggression, therefor there is a high possibility that the tough guy, the bully, the boxer compensates his anxiety with physical aggression.

It’s the whole sexism debate really. Not only experience women suppression but also men. Men are supposed to fulfil their gender roles, cool, hard, uncaring, will never shed a tear or does not get depressed. And that is unfair!
This leads to men searching other outlets for their mental health difficulties, such as substance misuse and abuse, abusive behaviour.

More men commit suicide then women, and they do it because of mental health problems, such as anxiety.

_Lukas · Nov 9, 2017

Hi @Ryan , and welcome!

My name is Lukas and I am a man who struggles with anxiety.
As @Rinka said, it's the whole sexism debate and everything- men tend not to be as public about having anxiety because unfortunately society has the wrong idea of what a man should act like.
It's okay to cry and it's okay to be emotional, no matter who you are or what your gender identity is.

I'm sorry you feel that way but I totally understand, being frustrated that you can't be "normal" personally resonates with me. I'm disabled and I have a speech impediment and I'm living in a constant state of frustration that other people have it easier and other people are "normal." I try to be as positive as I can, but I feel very negative a lot of the time, specifically regarding other people.

I'm so glad you're seeking advice and help, and this is definitely the right place for that

You don't need to feel afraid to share anything with us or like you have to hide stuff from us, because we're all family here!
Make yourself at home

_Lukas · Nov 9, 2017

No problem!

It's nice to see other guys here too lol.

I feel guilty about it too, but the good thing about that is that if you feel guilty, it means you can feel empathy, so at least you know you're not a bad person!

I have a stutter and other speech difficulties, but they're due to a medical condition/disability. Sometimes I wish I was a "normal" person.
It could always be better, but it could always be worse too.

I know what you mean about not feeling "manly"... but unfortunately that's the fault of society and the media. There are all these silly gender stereotypes that say things like "men can't show emotion because that means they're a pu$$y" or "women are emotionally unstable train wrecks." Both are categorically false. Sexism sucks. You would think that in this day and age people wouldn't get so wrapped up in gender binaries but unfortunately it seems to be getting worse before it gets better. I'm a psychology grad student and in one of my classes we were talking about how parents of boys freak out if their son plays with a Barbie, and how parents of girls try to discourage their daughters from playing football, hockey, etc. I think it's really sad. My parents gave me a hard time for playing with more stereotypically "female" toys as a kid and it did a number on my self-esteem and it confused me. As I've gotten older I've learned to give less of a $hit. My fiance is the perfect example of a guy who isn't consumed by gender stereotypes- he's a professional makeup artist and he wears his makeup proudly and isn't afraid to be vulnerable and emotional in front of other people.

Anyway, I'll get off my soapbox now, but I just didn't want to leave anything unsaid about gender stereotypes, which is an issue I feel very strongly about. Don't ever let other people or "society" or the media dictate how you act or who you are. We weren't put on this earth to all conform to a single standard or walk around looking and acting like cookie-cutter carbon copies of each other.

Concernedgal · Nov 10, 2017

Ryan said:
Thsts what I'm afraid of, I have suicidal thoughts quite often and when I'm out I am aggressive, I get into fights for no reason just so I have a place to exert my anxiety and frustrations. My girlfriend is scared of me leaving the place alone because of what I might do or what could happen to me.

I'm frustrated I have to deal with this, I'm frustrated I have to try so hard to hide it, I'm frustrated that other people have it so easy, I'm frustrated that I can't just be "normal", I'm frustrated at life and constantly feeling negative...beyond frustrated...

It comes out in a very cold way where I want people to feel like me, no more happiness...

That sounds so bad and I promise I have a good heart but I swear anxiety is ruining me...

I saw one guy on here posting and that makes me feel a bit better knowing I'm not the only male who can admit they need help.

Yes .we are all frustrated. We are frustrated because for some reason... we've been given this curse to not have the ability to be happy. This illness is hateful. I can't tell you how many times I have contaplated suicide. You just get to a point that you just don't see the point. You k ow what i'm saying? I have been married for 15 years and I have suffered this mental illness for just as long. I remember in high school when I was a beautiful confident happy little cheerleader and now... look at me. I constantly worry very single sensation I get like a headache.. brain aneurysm .. gas... heart attack and so on and so forth . Not only that but, I can't tell travel over 10 miles from my home without a full blown panic attack so my life us limited and I am oddly OK with that. I know I shouldn't be but,.. I am. Its "safe". Greatfully my job isn't too far away and I still have that. You lash out because your angry and confused. . As if you are being punished for some reason. But, in other words..in my case life could be worse because it has been . Sorry for rambling. The point is... I know exactly how you feel.

janemariesayed · Nov 10, 2017

Ryan said:
alright so I'm male, 29, and have chronic anxiety. Holds me back in countless ways that I'll probabaly end up making a new thread about.
This one is specifically for my own interest, because I feel that anxiety disorders affect mostly woman (or more likely, men are just too ashamed to admit it). I feel extremely embarrassed about my condition and I've made up numerous excuses to people including my family and long time girlfriend.

Is there any other men out there that are comfortable saying they struggle with anxiety? Or is it one of those things that men can't admit because we need to be strong and can't show weakness... I was brought up thinking men don't cry and thats a sign of weakness...

Before my first panic attack at the age of 24 I never cried and was for some reason proud of it.... Now I find myself bawling in depression like a little girl and I think I'm losing self respect....

There are plenty of men who suffer from anxiety disorders. Some have come on here and chatted, while others have either chatted elsewhere or kept it to themselves. I think it is both men and women who suffer from anxiety both the same. It would be interesting though to know the true percentage.

Socially acceptable

LS Connection

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Rinka

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LS Connection

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_Lukas

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_Lukas

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Concernedgal

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janemariesayed

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