Social Media?

smilingsoul · Dec 17, 2019

I avoid it when I'm having trouble with anxiety and depression. I do send emails or text with my friends though, because maintaining social relationships is really important. Its amazing how habitual checking facebook or twitter or whatever can become. You're not really doing it to connect, you're doing it out of habit and fear of missing out! Mostly people will post pictures of their best selves, as you've seen, but they'll also reveal the worst sides of themselves in comments and reposting articles.

Cuchculan · Dec 17, 2019

Let me just say I have but less than 80 friends. I don't want any more. I see these people with thousands of friends. Easy bit of maths to do on facebook. Post something. You get maybe 16 likes. Take that away from the number of friends you have and you see how many people don't care what you just posted. I see no point in been friends with people who never interact with me. Those I have deleted over the years were people who were into drama of all sorts. Posting those famous cryptic posts. ' NOT AGAIN '. People ask them what they mean and are they OK. They reply that it is nothing. But a few hours later they will post another cryptic post. LEAVE ME ALONE. But they never actually tell you who the post is directed at and what is going on. They are attention seekers. I also don't care what a person has had for dinner. Then the amazing post of little Patty who has gone missing in the USA. They share the bloody thing. As if little Patty will suddenly turn up in Dublin Ireland. Then we have the animal cruelty videos and images. I love animals. But I don't want to see such images all day long when I am eating. People who post all this kind of stuff never last very long on my friend's list. As for pictures of themselves? Bloody dog ears and whiskers? Leave it out. And nobody will ever post a bad picture of themselves. This is what I really look like. You might hear all the bad things going on in their lives. But even that has added bit and pieces to make it sound even worse. And if you don't type AMEN on this post within ten seconds a child in Africa will die. Give us a break. I look on in the morning and I look on in the evening. What do I post? Mainly jokes. As an example I shall post the last few things I posted to Facebook.

Normal trees probably look at Christmas trees all dolled up and think .. "Whore"

My girlfriend says she enjoys sex more whilst on holiday.
Well I can tell you, that was an awkward postcard to receive.

Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies.
Is that a trick question??

Walking in the shops today..saw a girl with 4 lip rings..suddenly had an urge to hang a shower curtain.

The height of what I post on social media. I might also post up pictures a jigsaw I have just completed. But the thing is not to read the posts of other people and take anything to heart. Be it good or bad things they write. Just read it, if you want, and then let it go. If you take everthing too seriously it will be a hard ride for you on social media. It can be the cause of a lot of fall outs. As some people like to do nothing but moan on there. Most of my friends are either relatives or locals. So less drama.

bin_tenn · Dec 17, 2019

Cuchculan said:
Let me just say I have but less than 80 friends. I don't want any more. I see these people with thousands of friends. Easy bit of maths to do on facebook. Post something. You get maybe 16 likes. Take that away from the number of friends you have and you see how many people don't care what you just posted. I see no point in been friends with people who never interact with me. Those I have deleted over the years were people who were into drama of all sorts. Posting those famous cryptic posts. ' NOT AGAIN '. People ask them what they mean and are they OK. They reply that it is nothing. But a few hours later they will post another cryptic post. LEAVE ME ALONE. But they never actually tell you who the post is directed at and what is going on. They are attention seekers. I also don't care what a person has had for dinner. Then the amazing post of little Patty who has gone missing in the USA. They share the bloody thing. As if little Patty will suddenly turn up in Dublin Ireland. Then we have the animal cruelty videos and images. I love animals. But I don't want to see such images all day long when I am eating. People who post all this kind of stuff never last very long on my friend's list. As for pictures of themselves? Bloody dog ears and whiskers? Leave it out. And nobody will ever post a bad picture of themselves. This is what I really look like. You might hear all the bad things going on in their lives. But even that has added bit and pieces to make it sound even worse. And if you don't type AMEN on this post within ten seconds a child in Africa will die. Give us a break. I look on in the morning and I look on in the evening. What do I post? Mainly jokes. As an example I shall post the last few things I posted to Facebook.

Normal trees probably look at Christmas trees all dolled up and think .. "Whore"

My girlfriend says she enjoys sex more whilst on holiday.
Well I can tell you, that was an awkward postcard to receive.

Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies.
Is that a trick question??

Walking in the shops today..saw a girl with 4 lip rings..suddenly had an urge to hang a shower curtain.

The height of what I post on social media. I might also post up pictures a jigsaw I have just completed. But the thing is not to read the posts of other people and take anything to heart. Be it good or bad things they write. Just read it, if you want, and then let it go. If you take everthing too seriously it will be a hard ride for you on social media. It can be the cause of a lot of fall outs. As some people like to do nothing but moan on there. Most of my friends are either relatives or locals. So less drama.

Spot on! I can't tell you how many times I've deleted people for these exact reasons, the drama. The "poor pitiful me" posts, then they won't say what they're talking about (or who they're talking about). Or you call them out, and they say "GET OFF MUH PAGE!" I mean, you posted it for all of us to see, don't get mad when we call you out.

I have ~140 friends, and I know all of them personally. Many are extended family, and several are people I went to school with. I've never had more than about 160 friends at any given time. Like you, I also see no point in being Facebook friends with people who don't interact with me. Sometimes people get angry when I delete them and they say "I thought we were friends!" Yeah, Facebook doesn't dictate friendship or relationships, but if you think it does, we can't actually be friends because that's dumb and I have no time for it. :O

bin_tenn · Dec 17, 2019

Hurt&Hopeful said:
So I used to be a teacher, and I've moved around a lot in the 20 years. So the 'friends' group just exploded. High school friends. College friends. Coworkers. Students. Church folk from other cities. None of whom I actually keep in contact with. So I need to do a big cleanout, I think, but I just don't have the energy. The truth is that I hate social media - I don't enjoy Facebook at all. I don't mind real posts or discussions, but there is just too much crap to wade through, so I end up not going on there at all. But people tag me and then get their feelings hurt when I don't respond or see it. And I don't like to feel obligated to check all the time, either.

Yep. Social media drives relationships these days, unfortunately. Everyone is judged by their use (or lack of use) of social media. Those sites employ psychological brain f*ckery (it's legit, not speculation) to keep people coming back, to keep them wanting more. It creates a continuous feedback loop.

Do you know why social media is free? Because you're not the consumer; you're the product. Think about it.

Cuchculan · Dec 17, 2019

Oh how I annoyed a lot of people with just one post once. RIP the Dinosaurs. I can't believe it is 6 million years already. For anybody who uses Facebook, this is something you will see a lot of. Happy birthday in heaven and I can't believe it is 20 years already. Which means before Facebook even existed. Then people wishing their mother a happy birthday, when their mother has not got a Facebook account? I respect the dead. Big time. But some go over the top. As for new babies? Don't even get me started there. New video every day of the week. Is like a real life soap opera. People on it are the cast. Only we write the script as we go along.

bin_tenn · Dec 17, 2019

Hurt&Hopeful said:
I'm so glad there are other that feel the same way I do about this. But it's so hard to have any kind of relationships without participating, at least on some level.

IMO that's their problem, not yours. There are plenty of people out there who don't let social media dictate their personal life. They're just harder to find.

Cuchculan · Dec 17, 2019

Who cares what shoes Mrs X is wearing. Or what car Mr J is driving. People love to flaunt what they have on Facebook. Their lives versus ours. I am glad to be living my own life. The biggest thing I get on Facebook is messages asking me why I unfriended this person or that person. Just fed up looking at the rubbish they posted. We don't all have to buy into that sort of thing. Just be your normal self. If that is not good enough I would question them as friends. Hence I really call the place Fakebook.

Cuchculan · Dec 18, 2019

You can adjust things to what you see all the time and what you never see. One bloke I am friends with, I never see anything he posts at all. He tends to post old comic book front covers. Sounds as exciting as it is. Switched off all notifications for him. Very easy to do. Others I can see everything they post. Because I want to. Nobody can post anything on my time line at all. Annoys some people. if they tag me in anything I have to approve it. Or simply remove the tag. You can have full control over everything.

bin_tenn · Dec 18, 2019

I don't know if I'd say you have full control over "everything", but good enough I suppose.

I have mine locked down the same way. I have my friend list visible only to me, same with the majority of my photos. I also have to approve things I'm tagged in. I got a good laugh when you said "sounds as exciting as it is." LoL.

Husband/Father of 3 · Dec 18, 2019

I purposely never signed up for Twitter or Instagram. I have Facebook but try to avoid it. I do occasionally browse on Facebook to see what out-of-town friends have been up to. Its always important to remember that its not real life. Also important to teach children that it is not real life. My wife and I have purposefully never posted anything online about our children or photos, so that they will hopefully understand the difference between the real world and the internet.

I do like local social media platforms such as NextDoor - it allows more meaningful communication with people living in your actual vicinity. I find these to be useful, rather than pits of envy, FOMO, depression, etc. like Facebook tends to be.

Cuchculan · Dec 18, 2019

I get and refuse group invites a lot. No interest in them at all. Is two local groups. By not been in them I have my excuse for not hearing about things. LOL Person who runs one of them I would not talk to face to face. So why would I want to be in her group? The girl is just so bloody annoying. Thinks she runs the area. ' Smack '. I know. I should never hit a woman. But this one? If you all knew her there would be a race on to smack her first. LOL. As for these other social media places? Never heard of some of them. Twitter I use to find out about trains not running and water issues and the likes. Instagram is all about ' Strike a pose '. No interest in that at all. I do the bulk of my writing on this site these days.

bin_tenn · Dec 18, 2019

Never got into Instagram. I have a Twitter account under a gaming nickname that is in no way linked to any personal information or other personal account. I use it to have some fun from time to time. That's it. I look at Facebook once or twice a day, sometimes not at all.

smilingsoul · Dec 19, 2019

I like Twitter during football season because there are some smart people who post knowledgable things about the games I'm watching, and even put "cut-ups" of plays which diagram what the teams are doing and how the players do their assignments. I've also found that a lot of companies are surprisingly responsive to complaints when you make them via Twitter. I think they like to have their efforts at customer service be in a public forum. Provided you're not a whiner. I have Instagram, because I wanted to understand the world the middle-school age kids I coach live in. I don't use it much myself though. I got on Facebook when most people were still on Myspace, because I thought it was more business-oriented (it was, at the time). Once my extended family, college friends, and so on got with the program it became a good way to keep in touch. However, during the last general election in 2016 it became such a horrible pit of misinformation, manipulation, and bad blood between people that I care about that I've decided that I'm pretty much going to sit the next year out. It definitely makes me more anxious at the moment when I log onto it. I can see the b.s. starting again.

Cuchculan · Dec 19, 2019

I was curious as ever. There are well in excess of 100 social media sites. I could probably only name 3 or 4. Think that shows how many people play out their lives using the net.

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