Hi, I'm new here. I've enjoyed reading everyone's personal stories so far, and i wish everyone good luck with this problem. Here's my story- I'm a 22 year old student hoping to become an MD. I find it soooo hard though, to go to my classes. I have many lab classes that I have to attend but i completely avoid them at all costs. I'm afraid to ask my classmates questions because I'm afraid I will sound so weird and mean. I don't go out that often, and I avoid going to stores and church. I have quite a few friends, but I avoid going out with them unless there are specific conditions met. like, if its just one or two of them in a VERY private setting. I avoid answering my cell phone most of the time because I'm afraid I will sound mean and alienate whoever's calling. This has cost me time spent with friends. If I'm uncomfortable anywhere, I just leave. I leave classes, labs, the company of friends, family, etc. When I think about or imagine what I look like to others, its just so mind blowing, if you know what I mean. I am constantly paranoid that I look mean or rude or will say something that does not make any sense. I'm afraid of being humiliated. I feel helpless. I'm afraid that people think I'm the weirdest and most awkward person ever. walking down halls at the university is sooo terrible. I don't know which way to look when someone crosses my path. If a guy walks by me and I accidentally look at him, I'm afraid he will think that I am "checking him out" or think that i think he's checking me out. Ive even gained weight just to blend into the crowd and avoid being talked to. If I wear make up, I'm afraid that guys will think that i think I am attractive. I feel very ugly. I am at a loss. Its really hard to describe what I feel, though I'm sure you all know what I mean to some degree. any advice or kind words? Thank you so much. Sorry I wrote so much.