Social Anxiety and Social Media

[majorcupcake]

I'm very curious about something, so I figured, why not ask others that might feel this way.


I definitely get anxious when in social circumstances in person. Something that has always been curious to me is regarding being socially anxious online as well. Being online oftentimes means that you can be anonymous and say whatever you want without anyone knowing it's you. Wouldn't that mean that I shouldn't feel anxious?


However, anytime I'm interacting with others online, I get that same panic coursing through my veins that I get if I were saying it in person, even if it's completely anonymous. Right now, even, I feel anxious writing this post and have thought about deleting it!

 

[kgord]

Well, I only feel anxious about social media online when I have something invested. It is easy just to make a random comment on a site, and that is why some people are so nasty when doing so. If I know the people though, it is another thing and one that I feel OK with. It is just one of the things that I can feel upset about if it doesn't go my way. However, some people will like you, some will not, and there is not a lot you can do about it. You just have to be yourself.

 

[Houille]

The only time I feel anxious on social media is when my real identity is revealed and could possibly affect my personal life. But if I'm completely anonymous and I can get away with commenting with no consequences whatsoever, I'll feel a lot safer and better. You should do what you're comfortable with - if you aren't comfortable on social media, you could try to avoid it as much as you can. But don't worry, here on Anxiety Community, you are in a safe space.

 

[Surrender]

I do not get anxious if I am anonymous, but certainly do if it is public like Facebook. I really dislike Facebook for that reason.


One thing though that brought me some peace is this thought - I have a right to exist. I have a right to speak, like everyone else. I have a right to an opinion, like everyone else. I have the same right as everyone else to stand up and be heard. I am just as important as everyone else.


Then I just try and make sure I am being fair not hurting anyone with my words.

 

[Laneorexorcist]

I also don't really get anxious if I'm anonymous and people don't really know who am I... or what do I look like, lol. And lately I have been seriously anxious of publishing pictures of me on social media, and I didn't use to have this fear, I know that it's kind of dumb, butjust thinking about having all that attention on me makes me feel really insecure.


But I don't get this fear writing things or texting to my friends, though.

 

[yeppeo]

Like the majority of people in the thread I don't usually get nervous when I'm anonymous, but it's different if it's facebook, for example.


Even though I still find it much easier to talk online than in person, but it also depends with whom I'm talking. If I need to chat with someone to, for example, ask something, then I'll be as nervous as if I were speaking with that person in bone and flesh.


Also, audio and video chatting scares the hell out of me. I don't know why, but I think it's even worse than in person. But I don't know why, really? Maybe it's the fact that I find the person in the other side is "entering" in the comfort bubble that is me behind the computer screen (I can't express it well, so I hope you get the idea).

 

[DeMarie]

I have terrible social anxiety. The funny thing is no one ever knows it - they think I am very social. I have an online business, which requires a lot of interaction with clients and I realized that I am fine during the im'ing process on Facebook, if they are placing an order. But once they receive the order I am stressed that they won't like what I created. As soon as I see the message pop up from a client that I mailed something to my heart races.


I do belong to groups that deal with my type of art (I am a professional glass artist) I find it quite difficult to post pictures of my work for other artists to see and comment on.


Over the years I have come to accept that this is me and I have to cope with it the best I can. It isn't easy, my heart goes out to you. If you are like me you are even anxious about who is going to respond. Don't worry you aren't alone!

 

[CrepesforDapes]

I was the same way when I first started being really outgoing online. Like social anxiety in person, you can only get over it more and more with practice. When I was really young, I had trouble talking to most people, whether or not I knew them. However, after a long journey of trying to overcome my anxiety, I can confidently say that I can talk naturally with most people now. The same thing is applicable to talking to people online, in my opinion. Although the factor or anonymity definitely has some weight, I still felt anxious talking to people online. I think just the knowledge of knowing that you're talking to a real person, regardless of if it's online or in person, is enough to trigger my social anxiety. So yeah, it's normal, and I'm sure lots of other people feel the same way.

 

[amy88]

It definitely happens to me too. In situations where I am putting my thoughts and opinions out there, I often worry that someone will get angry at those thoughts, that they'll disagree, possibly argue with me - and those things all get my anxiety going.


I also worry sometimes about texting people and worrying they're mad/offended if they don't reply in a timely way.

 

[pwarbi]

To be honest this is the first time I have actually heard of this, as most of the time interacting with others on social media is usually the best way to help overcome your anxiety. While meeting and chatting with people on social media isn't exactly a substitute for meeting them face to face, it IS a way to keep communication open with people if you feel that you don't have the confidence to go out that day.


If you are feeling anxious using social media then all I would say is keep doing it until your anxiety passes. That might be easier said than done but using social media is a lot easier than actually going out meeting people so just try and think of it as a new way of dealing with your issues like you would think of therapy in the same way.

 

[Roscas]

This is quite interesting. First, allow me to address communication and socialization through social media not anonymously. People seem to be more relaxed compared to face to face contact. I have noticed this with my youngest son who is a late bloomer, so to speak, when it comes to socialization with more than 2 people. When he is online, he laughs, he fires away with his tap-tap-tap on the keyboard and he taps really fast. When I take a look, I see a lot of popped-up chat windows (forgive my computer terms as I am unsure and ignorant in such matters).


I think when he learned to use the internet (he is computer savvy and has a high aptitude for the technology), he gained more confidence to make friends personally, physically. He only started hanging around friends when he was in his second year in college. Since then, he would have his group mates come over, sometimes do sleep overs playing video games, and just hang out.


As for me, I am new to the technology, in general, and barely have aptitude in the technology, had to learn because of work and use the internet personally only for email. I still feel intimidated joining social media chatter. I browse, look, read but this is the first time I literally joined and become a member. The Facebook I had was set-up by my children which I deactivated because I was not into it. I just wanted to see photos of my siblings and their families, my limited number of friends I stay in touch with. (I am quite choosy with whom I communicate with because I am more of an introvert, an observer. I speak when spoken to and asked. I am a very private person.) Since my kids allow me to see the photos I want to see on their own Facebook accounts, I thought it futile to maintain mine. My eyes tire easily after clicking 3 to 5 pages of my Facebook. But this does not happen when I browse and read the news online. Using Facebook back then felt stressful to me. I did not feel comfortable being reminded by my children to say something in my status. When I see the field blank, there is that sense of pressure. I do not know where this feeling is coming from. It felt like an entire different world that I felt lost in. There is that sense of intimidation and anxiety. I feel more guarded because I am unable to see the person I am communicating with, I could not look into the other person's eyes.


Second, social media used anonymously. This is what I do not understand much. Why there is the need to hide. Is that not escape from facing our anxiety? Why hide? Is it not pretension? My questions are not intended to judge. They are honest questions of mine out of honest curiosity. I want to understand. I come from the old school of thought. Would anonymity not cause more anxiety in the long run?


To those who do anonymous, feel free to enlighten me. I assure you there won't be any judgment on my part. I just merely want to know and understand. Your inputs may guide me IF any of my children try anonymous. For now, I am sure and confident they do not do anonymous.