So tired of people telling me I have a victim complex and it’s all in my head

[Strawberry Banana Sundae]

I cannot deal with these kinds of people who think they know everything about me and how I should feel. I have the right to feel angry and sad. I’m tired of people defending wrongdoers as innocent when I know damn well how they’ve treated me. But the one thing I get so fed up with is the phrase “you have a victim complex”. As if I have no right to be upset when people are mean to me or others. Another phrase I get so sick of is “it’s not (insert perpetrator here) that’s making you miserable! It’s your own mental health problems! It’s all in your head!”. What’s worse is that these types of people will often defend and even support bullies and bigots and outright mean people.

They don’t know squat what I’ve been through because they’ve never been in my shoes. They think they’re helping me, but the only they’re doing is hurting me. Let me ask you something, if someone broke their leg, would you tell them to run to relieve the pain? Of course you wouldn’t. And no, just because I have mental health problems doesn’t mean it’s all in my head. And that most definitely doesn’t excuse anyone for being insensitive or an ass. In short, telling me it’s all in my head says a lot more about you than it does me. This is a mental health forum intended to be supportive, NOT to be dismissive. Making posts is how I cope with my depression and anxiety. You don’t like it? Deal with it.

 

[Cuchculan]

Maybe if you explain what you have been through and a little bit more about yourself, people will understand you more.

 

[Strawberry Banana Sundae]

Maybe if you explain what you have been through and a little bit more about yourself, people will understand you more.

Tried it, but unfortunately it didn’t work. People can take their time to listen to others, but the sad truth is that, many do not really care.

 

[imsotired]

good on you for sharing this! Is it okay if i ask who these people are that say these things. they are clearly not educated and that's really sad for them cus if they rlly cared for you they would look and educate themselves. Unfortunately, some Parents don't really understand this mental illness thing and how much it has changed from when they were growing up. you don't need others to validate your feelings. Many people don't understand cus they haven't experienced it.
What's most important is that you validate/acknowledge your feeling and allow yourself to feel it.

Maybe you can speak to someone who you know will listen. therapy works really well, but I know that it can be expensive. writing down what you feel on paper helps to getting a journal.

hope this helps
also you can message me at anytime xx

 

[Strawberry Banana Sundae]

good on you for sharing this! Is it okay if i ask who these people are that say these things. they are clearly not educated and that's really sad for them cus if they rlly cared for you they would look and educate themselves. Unfortunately, some Parents don't really understand this mental illness thing and how much it has changed from when they were growing up. you don't need others to validate your feelings. Many people don't understand cus they haven't experienced it.
What's most important is that you validate/acknowledge your feeling and allow yourself to feel it.

Maybe you can speak to someone who you know will listen. therapy works really well, but I know that it can be expensive. writing down what you feel on paper helps to getting a journal.

hope this helps
also you can message me at anytime xx

Most of the people that tell me this are from online. Sadly a few who told me this are in this forum as well.