So fed up with myself

[Sweet T]

Each day I sort of test myself. That is to say, I check my pulse after I come up the steps for example. Then I feel better - for a bit. I’m usually better by evening and I think - What am I so afraid of? Nothing happened today. Surely I’ll feel like this tomorrow.
Then I wake up the next day and think, I wonder if my Recovery Hesrt Rate is good for my age. Then I get my heart rate up and start measuring. You can see where this is going. I take my pulse many times per day. I feel for anything that is abnormal. After I am calmer, I swear that I’ll never take my pulse again.
But an hour passes and these doubts creep in. Ugh. Can anyone relate? What do you do to help with your “need” for reassurance?

it’s my heart now but I have had other obsessions too.

 

[shay1988]

I'm always checking my pulse and my oxygen! I have a big heart fear. Right now especially. I'm at DR right now getting my lungs checked cause I've been sick with flu for so long! But I Kno how you feel! It's like we obsess over one thing so much then when we are fine with that in comes another worry. It really sucks

 

[Anna70]

I am like that too filled with fear all day and night over the crazy symptoms I get just before and during sleep. I hate it. My psychologist said to do a gratitude journal. I have been doing that for three weeks. I need to give up the ipad use because I am always online for hours!

 

[Seryn]

I've noticed my first thought in my head when I wake is something anxiety related. If I realise I try replacing it with something positive. Something I do actually believe. Sometimes that can lift me out of a negative anxiety mood so I don't start symptom checking.

 

[Sweet T]

I've noticed my first thought in my head when I wake is something anxiety related. If I realise I try replacing it with something positive. Something I do actually believe. Sometimes that can lift me out of a negative anxiety mood so I don't start symptom checking.

Thx.

I am like that too filled with fear all day and night over the crazy symptoms I get just before and during sleep. I hate it. My psychologist said to do a gratitude journal. I have been doing that for three weeks. I need to give up the ipad use because I am always online for hours!

I do a gratitude journal but maybe I should do it in the morning when my anxiety is highest. Ty

 

[shay1988]

What is a gratitude journal? I've been keeping a anxiety diary. I write in it every day about my symptoms and how I'm doing, my Dr told me to so she can read it. It seemed to help for a while.

 

[Anna70]

The gratitude journal is to write down at least one thing you are grateful for. Just after a few days, you start to think happier thoughts than just thinking of all the what ifs. Some days it works for me, other days it doesn’t. But I have to continue it regularly and not skip days like I keep doing. In the past few days, I wrote my gratitude statement in the mid afternoon.

 

[Jonathan123]

Self testing in any form is not good in anxiety. We are not doctors and can have no idea what an elevated pulse rate can mean. Symptoms vary so much from person to person.
Your doctor knows you and can interpret your symptoms. We do put the frighteners on ourselves by constant checking.
If only, my goodness, if only we could just accept it all withouit comment and adding more fear by apprehension. I say 'just' in the full recognition that acceptance is not easy but can be done given the will and enough patience. There is nothing 'out there' waiting to get at us, it's all self imposed. We all know that but it still remains difficult to put it into practise.

 

[Seryn]

I think a gratitude diary is a good idea, even just jotting down something positive. I feel in society now it's more common and acceptable to be negative. I had a perfect example this morning, my son was moaning about his long day in college and how awful and long today way going to be and I said "we'll look on the positive you have tomorrow off" he gave me such a look of disgust and said in a mocking voice "mum all that fake positivity stuff is nonsense" it actually made me feel quite sad! The day off tomorrow was actually a real life positive fact. Him thinking today was going to be awful in college was pure fantasy, he has no way of telling! Yet he felt saying that was sensible and the actual positive fact was silly and nonsense. Really made me think. Has he learnt this from me? How often do we really catch the positives and focus and believe in them instead of our fantasy negatives?