So exhausted you pass out??

[Desi8963]

so here I am. Up late again thinking about what strain of cancer I have. I can’t take this anymore...I’m prescribed .50mg lorazepam (small dose due to breastfeeding) and I’m afraid to take it because I feel like it will poison my body in the long run...my kids are asleep and I so badly wish I could fall asleep because I need it. Today my fiancé was home for a while and took the baby so I could nap. I was so tired I could not physically keep my eyes open. I couldn’t stand either. So I laid down...my mind was racing...and then I woke up...I’m convinced I fainted or something from being so tired. Is this possible? I’ve got kids ages 8, 2 and 3 months and my fiancé works 12 hour shifts 5 days a week sometimes day sometimes night so I have the kids 90% of time. They hate naps so we don’t get those...and then at night when I have the opportunity to sleep I can’t because I’m afraid I’ll die in my sleep or just not wake up....especially after this fainting nap today. Anyone ever experience this?

 

[Rinka]

Hi Desi,
I don’t think you fainted, it sounds more like those “micro-sleeps”(not sure if that’s the right term, google “sekundenschlaf” English translation), that you get when you are really exhausted.
If you don’t trust meds, which I can understand, research natural supplements that can help you, especially with your sleeping problem.
Have you asked you doctor about postnatal depression or anxiety?

 

[Desi8963]

I have and I guess they aren’t sure if I have it because I have anxiety anyways. I just haven’t had anxiety this bad ever in my life. Like all day one hour I’ll be fine...next hour I’m pacing around because I think I’ve got skin cancer...then I’m fine...then I start crying because I think about death and what if my parents die or I die or my fiancé dies...and that brings me to a darker place like what if I have a stroke and I get paralyzed or wake up and I’m completely blind....it’s just never ending until evening time. I don’t know if This is anxiety...exhaustion...stress...or what....Do you know of any natural remedies for anxiety. I mean Ativan has been a life saver at night time and after I take it I feel much better...it just takes a while for me to convince myself to take it because I fear it will kill me or something.

 

[Rinka]

I’m not a doctor, but there are statistics out there that suggest, people with a pre-exciting anxiety or depression condition are much much much more likely to experience postnatal depression and anxiety.
In regards to natural remedies, have a look at my all time favourite, L-Theanine. It’s an extract out of green tea, that is being concentrated.
It helps me with my anxiety and racing thoughts at night. You can get this from amazon.
Also kava kava can relieve anxiety and gives you the feeling of absolute peacefulness. Only thing is, i don’t know how it is with breast feeding in regrds to kava.

 

[Hurt&Hopeful]

This is a really late response because I just joined. But I wanted you to know that I experienced something really similar after giving birth. I would pace, then 'pass out' like you say, increased obsessive thinking. First, it absolutely GETS BETTER. I didn't understand at the time just how LONG your body stays in hormonal flux after childbirth, and how badly it messes with your brain. I had panic attacks before, but it was a whole new level of terror for me. You have to make taking care of these symptoms a priority, and reach out for help. And trust that with time it will balance out. For me (personally, not for everyone), I wanted to breastfeed so badly, but I chose to stop and get on medication. That's not for everyone, I know. But there are some options that are safe for breastfeeding as well - I have a friend who had good success with Zoloft while breastfeeding. You can research the medications online and see what is passed through your milk. Hang in there - it gets easier!!!

 

[Desi8963]

UPDATE:

Thanks for your response! So I’m on week 5 of being on Zoloft. I’m currently at 100mg. Once I increased to 100 I felt like myself for about a week. No panic in the morning. Still taking my Ativan .50mg at night to sleep but things were going well. And then........I went to look at our new house that we are supposed to be moving into today. It’s an older house but it’s huge and I thought it’s just what I need to get out of this funk. I went downstairs in the basement where two of the bedrooms are (it’s a finished basement) and noticed the carbon monoxide detectors was unplugged. I plugged it in and 10 min later it went off saying there was a level of 521! I immediately got myself and my 4 month old out of the house and called the landlord. Her husband is a heating and cooling guy and he went in and said that was an old carbon monoxide detector and it’s broken. He also checked the water heater and heating system and said they were all good. My mother bought me a new detector and I installed it yesterday and the alarm didn’t sound so that made me feel a little better. But not I feel like I’m going on reverse....like I was myself again and then this carbon monoxide scare that wasn’t real has set me back. I’m starting to wake up with panic again...every time I see older people I get intrusive thoughts about death again....in the same week my husbands friend who was only 45 died of an aortic aneurysm and my husband said he was a healthy guy and just fell over dead......so that as well has me thinking maybe I have one too. Then on got a sunburn at our county fair so now the skin cancer thoughts are back...... so I’m at a crossroads. I don’t know whether I should increase the Zoloft and see if that helps.....or quit breastfeeding and try something else. Like I said I’m only at 100 and I like the Zoloft when it works....I just want to be myself again. I’m literally afraid of everything. Yesterday I was raking a shower and got a splash of water in my nose and had intrusive thoughts about drowning that brought me to tears. I don’t understand how people get their this. I’m also in therapy but I don’t think that’s working. She just kinda tells me things I’ve already googled and know. It does help to talk when I’m down tho. But when I’m feeling fine I don’t like to talk about the bad thoughts

 

[Hurt&Hopeful]

Oh, sweetie I'm so sorry you're going through this. The only answer I know to how you get through it is that you get through it one day at a time - I'm there too right now.

I understand about therapy, too - I spent years in 'talk therapy.' I know the tricks. Lol Recently I have started seeing a therapist who specializes in trauma and PTSD and it's giving me some new hope? She focuses on literally just calming the body, and reprogramming the brain to respond differently to surroundings through EMDR and brainspotting - I'm still a work in progress so no great success story yet.

I have also found that being really intentional about things in the mornings helps. Like eating protein (even if I have to force it down). Taking quiet time. I went on an anniversary trip last weekend and had a complete meltdown on the way - I found a YouTube video with 'yoga for panic attacks' and just DID it (I'm overweight and not flexible - this was just laying down stuff). It got me through a morning. My therapist said to treat it like diabetes - you just have to be very intentional about monitoring your body and doing things to calm it down. I'm terrible at it, but I'm trying to learn. I have to believe that if we keep learning about WHY it's happening, it will gradually lose its power over us and be less scary.

 

[Desi8963]

I live in a very small town and my therapist says she’s never dealt with a postpartum anxiety patient so it’s trial and error for us both I guess. I want to get into yoga or something. Right now it just feels like when I start something my kids need me or the baby needs me so I find I spend most of my day sitting around waiting for them to need something. What are some things that trigger you? Do you have health anxiety? Or intrusive thoughts as well? I want to see the light at the end of this tunnel and know I WILL get better. It’s so hard to convince myself of that tho. I like the ideas your therapist has though. Maybe I can travel to a different city and find one that knows a bit more

 

[Hurt&Hopeful]

The waiting is torture, isn't it? At least your therapist knows her limitations and is willing to learn with you - that's positive. I don't have health anxiety, no - it's more general. Yes, intrusive thoughts - but it's more an overall fear of the next attack and feeling like this forever. I get locked up and sort of shut down every now and then, and it's like I just have to ride it out. Medication has helped in the past, but I've been off for a few months. I'm considering going back after I get the results of some medical tests back depending on what they say. I just need to look at some black and white numbers that say 'you have no vitamin deficiencies, no hormone imbalances, no thyroid issues...nothing else to make you dizzy and shaky.' does that make sense? I need to know what is anxiety, and what else might be happening - I've been told it was 'just anxiety' for about 20 years. I have always accepted it - except for about 7 years ago, when I was so dizzy and was dissociating and passing out. At the time, it turned out I had a hormone imbalance (almost no progesterone, which makes you feel AWFUL). So I'm checking that out again - I can deal with anxiety, but the constant dizziness and 'out of body' feelings are too much to keep functioning.

My main trigger is just feeling overhwlemed by responsibilities, and feeling 'too fragile' to meet them. I have a five year old - he is sensitive, and he tends to get NEEDIER when I'm struggling, and acts out with his dad...I have trouble interacting with him at times in a healthy way. Also thinking about having another baby is back HUGE trigger - I always wanted more kids, my husband wants another...but my experience the first time was so rough that the idea terrifies me. I'm 39, so pressure is mounting, and there us a battle between what my brain wants and my body feels like it can handle. So definitely some PTSD issues at work, which I'm trying to work through. I have a high stress job right now, which I'm failing at - it covers more than half our income and our health insurance though, so I feel kind of trapped at times. When I'm healthier, I enjoy what I do. But my brain is too foggy to do it right now, so pressure piles on and I get worried about being 'exposed' as mentally ill. These are the intrusive thoughts.

Reality is that my kid is loved and will be ok, and I'm working hard and taking steps to spare him from going through this. There are certainly others atvwork that have struggled with anxiety. All working moms feel guilty and struggle with balance (all MOMS period, actually). And this will let up and I'll continue learning about it and improving. At 29 I couldn't see that. At 39 I can. But it still SUCKS on the bad days, and today is a bad day.

So my therapist has been sharing some resources online that have helped me understand what happens in the body during anxiety episodes, and it's been helpful. I would be happy to share. Also, YouTube has all kinds of good stuff if you can sort through the toxic crap. Try searching for 'yoga for panic attacks' or 'bilateral music for panic attacks.' it helps me stay in a range of anxiety that I can manage and not get to that desperate I-want-to-scratch-my-own-eyeballs-out range.

 

[Desi8963]

Well it seems you are on the right track! Isn’t it so crazy how we know our brain is playing tricks on us, yet we still succumb to the anxiety. My therapist tells me to actually tell myself things like “this isn’t real” so I basically battle my brain all day. Sometimes it works. I’m not quite to a point where I can listen to music yet. I used to love music but I’m afraid I’ll hear a song and it will have a trigger in it. Same with TV...can’t watch many shows anymore because I’m afraid. But the yoga sounds safe so I will definitely be on YouTube for that!

 

[CC83]

The waiting is torture, isn't it? At least your therapist knows her limitations and is willing to learn with you - that's positive. I don't have health anxiety, no - it's more general. Yes, intrusive thoughts - but it's more an overall fear of the next attack and feeling like this forever. I get locked up and sort of shut down every now and then, and it's like I just have to ride it out. Medication has helped in the past, but I've been off for a few months. I'm considering going back after I get the results of some medical tests back depending on what they say. I just need to look at some black and white numbers that say 'you have no vitamin deficiencies, no hormone imbalances, no thyroid issues...nothing else to make you dizzy and shaky.' does that make sense? I need to know what is anxiety, and what else might be happening - I've been told it was 'just anxiety' for about 20 years. I have always accepted it - except for about 7 years ago, when I was so dizzy and was dissociating and passing out. At the time, it turned out I had a hormone imbalance (almost no progesterone, which makes you feel AWFUL). So I'm checking that out again - I can deal with anxiety, but the constant dizziness and 'out of body' feelings are too much to keep functioning.

My main trigger is just feeling overhwlemed by responsibilities, and feeling 'too fragile' to meet them. I have a five year old - he is sensitive, and he tends to get NEEDIER when I'm struggling, and acts out with his dad...I have trouble interacting with him at times in a healthy way. Also thinking about having another baby is back HUGE trigger - I always wanted more kids, my husband wants another...but my experience the first time was so rough that the idea terrifies me. I'm 39, so pressure is mounting, and there us a battle between what my brain wants and my body feels like it can handle. So definitely some PTSD issues at work, which I'm trying to work through. I have a high stress job right now, which I'm failing at - it covers more than half our income and our health insurance though, so I feel kind of trapped at times. When I'm healthier, I enjoy what I do. But my brain is too foggy to do it right now, so pressure piles on and I get worried about being 'exposed' as mentally ill. These are the intrusive thoughts.

Reality is that my kid is loved and will be ok, and I'm working hard and taking steps to spare him from going through this. There are certainly others atvwork that have struggled with anxiety. All working moms feel guilty and struggle with balance (all MOMS period, actually). And this will let up and I'll continue learning about it and improving. At 29 I couldn't see that. At 39 I can. But it still SUCKS on the bad days, and today is a bad day.

So my therapist has been sharing some resources online that have helped me understand what happens in the body during anxiety episodes, and it's been helpful. I would be happy to share. Also, YouTube has all kinds of good stuff if you can sort through the toxic crap. Try searching for 'yoga for panic attacks' or 'bilateral music for panic attacks.' it helps me stay in a range of anxiety that I can manage and not get to that desperate I-want-to-scratch-my-own-eyeballs-out range.

I feel the same way with the constant dizziness and weird feeling. What type of doctor are you seeing? An endocrinologist?

 

[Hurt&Hopeful]

I feel the same way with the constant dizziness and weird feeling. What type of doctor are you seeing? An endocrinologist?

So far just my GP for the bloodwork, and then we'll take it from there. Also routine gynecologist check, and I went to a "compounding pharmacy" that does saliva testing for cortisol and hormone levels. I am going down every path LOL!