Hi everyone! I’m new here and hoping to find comfort and reassurance from people like myself. I’m female, 24! I have had anxiety since I was a child following a sexual assault. But ever since I have my son about a year ago I have lost my mind. He is very high needs and very heavy and refuses to crawl etc so my body has taken a beating. Starting about 5 months pp I started having CRAZY symptoms. I have never suffered from hypochondria until 5 months pp. basically I ordered diet pills, phentermine, off the internet from Russia. Stupid. I took them and lost about 60 pounds. I starved myself and for like two months right after my baby I literally only drank protein shake. 
basically one night I was woken up with EXTREME PAIN in my upper left abdomen. I thought I was dying. It went away after about an hour. I ignored it and kept taking my diet pills but it was always in the back of my mind. Then one day out of nowhere it hit me. I googled my symptoms at the time which included chest pain, and upper left abdomen pain. WRONG MOVE. I went to PCP who did CBC and sent me GI. GI did ultrasound on my abdomen, and took a fecal blood test. All came back normal. He said I had stomach ulcer. Pain has since went away in upper left abdomen. I left there still not convinced I didn’t have cancer but I was dealing with it. Then holy freaking hell did I dive down a rabbit hole I cannot get out of. Cancer, ALS, early onset Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s. I’ve been scared of all of these things. And I really believed I had them. Basically I started having weird symptoms. Could barely get words out, messing up words a lot, and TWITCHING. My arms felt weaker, my tongue sore. I started seeing floaters. Literally you name it. I skipped PCP and self referral myself to a neurologist who did a Neuro exam and MRI and checked for certain vitamin. All normal. I saw an opthamologist who did a complete eye exam, normal. Saw a cardiologist who did ekg, and ultrasound on my heart. Normal. Saw my lady doctor who did a pap and thyroid blood work, normal. Saw a dermatologist who biopsies two suspicious moles and it was normal. Found a lump behind my neck, saw ent, who did another CBC and neck ultrasound and found it was 1.1cm and said it’s nothing to worry about but he will monitor.( getting second opinion this Friday) But no matter how’s hard I try I keep self diagnosing myself with something new. Now I’m convinced I have lung cancer and or liver cancer because I have tiny lumps through my abdomen and some yellow if I pull my eyelids down and look to the side. And some “only of I think about it” discomfort in my upper right abdomen. With tenderness. With shortness of breath with simple exertion. No history of cancer, no weight loss since I’ve stopped trying. No fevers. Fatigue but I do have a 25 pound baby who still wakes up at least once a night and refuses to be put down. Long story short my family thinks I’m looney and I feel crazy. I am seeing a PCP for my liver and lungs on Thursday. So that means just this week alone I am seeing a chiropractor, pcp, and ent. I have already met my $3000 deductible for the year and I’m very frustrated with myself. I hate googling a cancer survival rating and it’s saying low percentage. Makes me feel like I NEED to go to the doctor to find it early. But then I feel like I’m just chasing something in my head. I just want to feel better y’all. I want to worry about normal things that make me anxious like traffic, crowds, loud noises, social settings. I have seen a psychiatrist, prescribed me Xanax and lexapro but I haven’t taken them yet. I hate medicine. ( when will I come out of this damn hole I’m in!!
basically one night I was woken up with EXTREME PAIN in my upper left abdomen. I thought I was dying. It went away after about an hour. I ignored it and kept taking my diet pills but it was always in the back of my mind. Then one day out of nowhere it hit me. I googled my symptoms at the time which included chest pain, and upper left abdomen pain. WRONG MOVE. I went to PCP who did CBC and sent me GI. GI did ultrasound on my abdomen, and took a fecal blood test. All came back normal. He said I had stomach ulcer. Pain has since went away in upper left abdomen. I left there still not convinced I didn’t have cancer but I was dealing with it. Then holy freaking hell did I dive down a rabbit hole I cannot get out of. Cancer, ALS, early onset Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s. I’ve been scared of all of these things. And I really believed I had them. Basically I started having weird symptoms. Could barely get words out, messing up words a lot, and TWITCHING. My arms felt weaker, my tongue sore. I started seeing floaters. Literally you name it. I skipped PCP and self referral myself to a neurologist who did a Neuro exam and MRI and checked for certain vitamin. All normal. I saw an opthamologist who did a complete eye exam, normal. Saw a cardiologist who did ekg, and ultrasound on my heart. Normal. Saw my lady doctor who did a pap and thyroid blood work, normal. Saw a dermatologist who biopsies two suspicious moles and it was normal. Found a lump behind my neck, saw ent, who did another CBC and neck ultrasound and found it was 1.1cm and said it’s nothing to worry about but he will monitor.( getting second opinion this Friday) But no matter how’s hard I try I keep self diagnosing myself with something new. Now I’m convinced I have lung cancer and or liver cancer because I have tiny lumps through my abdomen and some yellow if I pull my eyelids down and look to the side. And some “only of I think about it” discomfort in my upper right abdomen. With tenderness. With shortness of breath with simple exertion. No history of cancer, no weight loss since I’ve stopped trying. No fevers. Fatigue but I do have a 25 pound baby who still wakes up at least once a night and refuses to be put down. Long story short my family thinks I’m looney and I feel crazy. I am seeing a PCP for my liver and lungs on Thursday. So that means just this week alone I am seeing a chiropractor, pcp, and ent. I have already met my $3000 deductible for the year and I’m very frustrated with myself. I hate googling a cancer survival rating and it’s saying low percentage. Makes me feel like I NEED to go to the doctor to find it early. But then I feel like I’m just chasing something in my head. I just want to feel better y’all. I want to worry about normal things that make me anxious like traffic, crowds, loud noises, social settings. I have seen a psychiatrist, prescribed me Xanax and lexapro but I haven’t taken them yet. I hate medicine. ( when will I come out of this damn hole I’m in!!