Scared to live freely

Discussion in 'Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)' started by floof4620, Dec 4, 2017.

  1. floof4620

    floof4620 New Member

    I have a lot of death anxiety that started two years ago and something really amazing happened in my life and I keep over thinking and crying because I think of every what if or like when people in movies are all happy and suddenly die and my anxiety keeps pushing me down and convincing me something bad will happen and it's so overwhelming because I just want to live to be really old but when good things happen in my life I get scared because like always probably something bad follows and I'm terrified because I hate this feeling and I just want to live long and be happy and if I ignore my anxiety i think I'm supposed to so I don't see anything coming and it all overwhelms me and my anxiety feels so suffocating I know we all die but I'm scared of dying young and not being able to live a full happy life and my anxiety makes me feel like everything is after me or like it could happen at any time even though my doctor says I'm ok and I just don't know what to do all I can do is cry and shake because I'm scared and I just need to feel warm and safe but it's hard when I don't have much support I try not asking people for long hugs but that makes me feel safe but i don't do it because why bother people with my issues and well my parents just tell me to ignore the thinking But what if I'm scared that I'll be too distracted to notice anything bad coming I don't know why I'm so scared or cautious ,I've always been scared of dying young ever since I found out death was a thing when I was 7 my anxiety wasn't bad until I thought I wouldn't make it two years ago with asmah for a long time and my dad saying nightmares could be a sign of dying so I got paranoid then as a kid I always had night mares of losing control of a car and crashing and in April I got in a crash and it left a traumatic experience the like triggered anxiety which make me feel like everything targets me and like I wouldn't make it long because I think the things in the past could happen again then I go Google symptoms and feelings and find a load of stuff which makes it worse and I hate feeling like something bad would happen, I just want to be happy stop over thinking and live to be old but I'm too scared to get up in a way Too scared to let go and just live life because, ok my anxiety convinces me that something will happen and people have said they had had feelings like they would die and they do suddenly but that's people who know they have a disease or know they'll do something risky ,but my anxiety triggers me to think like in that mindset so I get so convinced I get terrified and nothing happens but I just stay scared and it's just like I'm waiting for something to happen but don't know what and it could very well just be my anxiety taking over and me not knowing how to help myself, and I'm 17 and it's like everything is caving in especially since something amazing happened in my life as in I met a amazing guy and I'm scared because good things are followed by bad and I'm terrified something bad would happen ,please help

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  3. janemariesayed

    janemariesayed Junior Member

    Hello Floof, I'm sorry that you are suffering. Try not to think so much about when you will die. None of us knows for sure when that would be. It is a good thing to be distracted so you don't think about it. I believe in reincarnation so for me, death is just an imbalance of the poles. I'm actually looking forward to my next life and hoping that it will be better than this one.
     
  4. floof4620

    floof4620 New Member

    I'm just scared of not living a full happy life getting to be old ,there so much I'd want to do but my anxiety stops me ,I've accepted that we all die and I really believe in heaven ,but recently a weird anxiety keeps hitting me because things are going well It's just like what if you're not there for that what if something bad happens ,because it's like if something really good happens I get scared something bad follows so I have constant anxiety

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  5. janemariesayed

    janemariesayed Junior Member

    The only thing you can do is to try to put it out of your mind by putting something else there instead. Anxiety will manifest in whatever way it can. It seems like it is a disease and if we cure one thought pattern another arises. Perhaps the idea might be to learn coping techniques. It is good that you have a belief, it should at least relax you to know that you will go to a peaceful place when you do pass on.

    I get that sometimes, that I get a feeling of something bad about to happen and it can last for days. That's anxiety. I'm glad that you have found this forum Floof because you can come on here and chat with us anytime you are feeling low.:nurse:
     
  6. floof4620

    floof4620 New Member

    Thank you ,and true anxiety is really complicated it's been getting stronger since I was 15 and had asmah for two months with no medicine

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  7. Concernedgal

    Concernedgal Well-Known Member

    Theres your trigger. You had 2 months of asthma with no treatment. That must of been scary. Most anxiety occur's after tramatic events. As anxiety suffers. ..we all experience a certain saddress everyone we are happy. It's kind of like when my bipolar disorder has me in my manic phase .. it still depresses me because I know it will endo soon and my anxiety phase is next and then it will he my anger phase and then after that ... my depression phase. I think I experience real happiness for maybe ...5 days a month. It sucks. Just last week I wanted to kill myself... again. Ugh. My point is. ..I know how it feels to he anxious and depressed because your happy. And as far as your fear of dying... the hard fact is that no one knows when our time comes... only God knows . Just put all your trust in God and know that he has a plan for you . I also believe that most of the problem is with anxiety suffer's is the inability to control everything. If we could... then I think half of our problem would be solved. I think so anyway.
     
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  8. floof4620

    floof4620 New Member

    Thank you that really helped my fear does have a lot to do with the fact that people just don't know when they die and it's not like I want to know but my anxiety immediately makes me think I'm one of those that goes young even though all my life I've been comfortable being sure I'd get to be old because most of my family makes it to 90-100 easily unless they did drugs or took their life or something like that but I don't know my anxiety constantly has me in fear for the next day like oh is something bad going to happen today or if I'm excited for a future event I'm like what if I'm not there for that and it's terrifying as far as I know no one in my family has died young except my uncle who did drugs or my cousin who couldn't bare my uncle's death I don't know why my anxiety makes me think the worst especially when I'm happy I think of every superstition or scenario or what if ,and I hate it and I'm constantly convinced something bad would happen and I just cry and cry and pray so much I talk to god everyday hoping he'll bless me with a long life to do many things and to be ok I was almost not born I had a 15 percent chance of living because I came so early and all my family prayed and prayed and they named me promise to god and I'm healthy except I need to lose weight but still I'm always terrified of having a rare diseas or getting shot or in another car accident or having heart problems all I want to do is grow old and live a full life and be happy but it's like I don't know how or have hope because my anxiety consumes my positive thoughts and I just hate it

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  9. Concernedgal

    Concernedgal Well-Known Member

    From what I hear of your life experiences. ..it sounds like your a strong person. But, you seem to think that your fragile still . I'mean sorry you can't get it out ofor your head and I wish I had an answer of how to do that . I would bottle it and sell it . Lol. My only advice for you would be..to live for the day and try not to think ahead. Advice that I believe I should take more often myself .
     
  10. floof4620

    floof4620 New Member

    Do you think it's possible for me to heal from this and live a long life to accomplish my goals

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  11. janemariesayed

    janemariesayed Junior Member

    To help you to live a full life you will need to let go of your worries. Keep yourself busy and do your best to switch thoughts when something bad pops in.

    We don't know if we remember or know when we have died or not. Not for sure 100% anyway. So don't let that concern you either. Live each day as if it were your last then. See your friends, visit family and do all the things you want to do. Try and try to forget about dying. It's up to God when we pass over, whatever it is what happens after we die is out of our control. You are on this planet to live a life within the flesh and blood body that you have been given. That means making the right choices. So choose to live your life to the full and leave it to Gods knowledge alone when he decides to take us.:happy:
     
  12. janemariesayed

    janemariesayed Junior Member

    Yes and no. Yes, you really could live a long life and fulfil all of your goals. But it is difficult to get over this way of thinking. You may not heal completely, but you can learn how to cope. Then again, you may end up healing completely. It's not an easy question because there is no straight answer to it.
     
  13. Concernedgal

    Concernedgal Well-Known Member

    Of course it's possible but, it going to take a lot of guts. Your going to have to comic to recovering and your going to have to stop being victimized by this disorder. Try to remember who you were before this anxiety and try to live like that. Don't let this take over your life and just live... live is all you can do. Live.
     
  14. floof4620

    floof4620 New Member

    Thank you so much

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