Scared of Talking to a Teenager

[haeshin9]

I'm currently alone (for the day) with a house guest that is eighteen years old, female, ordinary in appearance, and related to me. That's nothing, right?

WRONG! I'm thirty years old and currently in a state of near terror. This is just a young cousin from overseas and yet I'm terrified of how I'll need to be a responsible relative/host, as beyond 'are you hungry?' I don't speak any of her language and I have no idea what the extent of her English is (I'm told it's very basic). So far beyond 'hi' I haven't said a word to her in two weeks mainly because I can't. Language barrier. There's going to be a ton of awkward silence and a total of eight hours until someone who does speak her language comes home. The heck do I do? It's like that time when I was sent to guide a pack of foreign relatives through Disneyland by myself and BOY THAT WAS AWKWARD. I don't recall enjoying Disney at all that day. My mother was just so calm and damn convinced that it'd be fine but IT WAS NOT FOR ME. None of my relatives spoke much English at all, and it was horridly awkward as I struggled to explain something to both Disney employees and my relatives several times. My family thinks I'm freaking out for no reason and got slightly annoyed when I kept reminding them I didn't know how to say anything in my cousin's language but 'are you hungry?'. Why are they always so convinced I know more of the native language than I do? I don't! I never speak it so why do they think that?

It feels so embarrassing to be afraid of dealing with a teenager at my age, but I never know what to say even if the other person speaks English! This is already a stressful week because I'm seeing the doctor later for back pains, and the last time I saw the doctor I was sent all over to the different places for different tests, ending with a surgery scare (ultimately didn't need one) and the realization that to solve my other health problems I just needed to eat more fiber. But what if I need surgery after all? This week is going to be hell and it's just started.

 

[Cuchculan]

You got a computer or any video games? Best answer to everything. Ask her would she like to use the computer or play a game. Or maybe even some music. Who she likes to listen to. Go to you tube and find a play list by her favourite band and just put it on. That way she can entertain herself and you have been nice offering her the computer and the likes.

 

[AiThink]

I have a 15 year old step daughter whom I haven't had a conversation with in 4 years. How ****** up is that? Poor girl, God knows what kind of damage i am causing her. I didn't know i had this problem until after her mom and i decided to live together. At first it was a simple hi and bye gesture, that turned into weekly hi and a monthly bye. Now its only on birthdays. I don't know how i let this get this far. but every time I feel her awkward, insecure, adolescent presence, i become paralyzed. I feel exposed, i feel like i cant relate to her on any level. I know im suppose to be the adult and provide the social guidance children need. But i feel like such a fraud doing this. i can mimic social interactions with other adult's. It is not easy but i do it. But with younger people, especially my step daughter, it feels like unnecessary hard work so i just don't do it. Sad but true. I kick myself for feeling this way. I feel i have lost the opportunity to win her over. She will never trust me or regard me as positive role model in her life. I just wish she doesn't carry this into her adult life and have this affect her future relationships.