Please can anyone help me? I’ve been Fine with my new boyfriend for over 5 months and all of a sudden my anxiety has flared right up. I haven’t eaten a meal for over 2 weeks, crying non stop and I feel all of this will go away if I leave him? He’s done nothing wrong? I’m so confused! I’ve also had reoccurring water infections whilst being with him but didn’t get them properly treated. I’m on antibiotics now but since being on them I’m now peeing blood?? Told the doctor and basically they said we can’t do anything until im off the antibiotics, that’s when they’ll do blood tests and send my urine to the lab. I feel like I’m falling apart.
Sad, fed up, anxious & depressed
- Thread starter Georgiia
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Cuchculan
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It is common to back out of relationships / getting close for people with anxiety. Some of us have sabotaged good relationships in the past. Thinking it is too hard. Or that the person would be better off without us. Let us image he does leave. Then what? You feel good for a while. But you are lonely. It could mean you will fear getting close to anybody again. That can happen. You know the singer Moby? He always got bad panic attacks and anxiety if he got into a relationship. If he let anybody get close to him. But he always wanted someone special in his life. His anxiety wouldn't let it happen. He reasoned that he would prefer not to have panic attacks and anxiety. So every time he found himself getting close to somebody he ended the relationship. Just one example. He had millions to his name but his whole life was full of anxiety and depression. Made worse by letting anybody get close to him. Talk to your boyfriend. Let him know what is going on. How you feel. Maybe come to an understanding with him. Were he allows you the space you need at times. You don't really want to be alone. Your mind is telling you that is the only way. Lord knows I have spent over 30 years alone. Would have been nice to have shared those years with someone special. But I made sure that never happened. It is a road you don't want to go down. Bit of talking might mean some form of answer as to how you can both work around this together.
Same here. Things were going great last week with a man I knew I was falling for. He made me feel safe and happy... then I turned on a pin, started having nightmares about him, if I was lucky enough to avoid insomnia, lost my appetite and felt like I couldn't breathe. It's so destructive. Now I feel calm, but miss him...just said it wasn't working for me. History repeating itself of course.
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I have ended my 5 month relationship with Mitch yesterday. We had our future planned out. Everyone said how much happier I seemed now I was with him. I’m absolutely heart broken and every time I think of him I cry. I’m awaiting therapy.
I feel your pain xx
Wish I knew. It's irrational fear for me. I feel truly frightened out of my safe zone. Only when romance is involved. Guess I'm scared of getting hurt. It wasn't always like this. I really liked a guy a while ago. He was lovely and I felt really relaxed with him, although I had another major stress in my life. We arranged a date, and I was so nervous I took a beta blocker. He picked me up in his car, having made an effort to look and smell fab. Anyway, at one point he swerved the car, and apologised. The nerves exploded into fear, I asked him to let me out immediately, and literally ran like a bat out of hell. He rang up later as was completely confused - told him I thought he was trying to frighten me for kicks. He said he swerved because he was thinking how lovely I looked instead of focusing on the road, and was very upset I could think such a thing of him. That was the end of that.
I wasn't heartbroken though, as a first date. More annoyed with myself. I know how heartbreak feels. I went down to just over seven stone, cried in supermarkets, in the street, at parties... didn't care. I did get over it. Long time ago now.
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My mum has turned on me and so has my step dad. Telling me I’m ruining everyone’s lives and I’ve made everyone ill. This isn’t helping my mental state of mind right now, I haven’t done any of this on purpose. It’s killing me, I’m so sad!
Some people, including one's own family members, don't like what they perceive to be chaos and misadventure. Doesn't make them bad people... just lacking judgement on things they don't understand. It's like asking a cat to understand the theory of relativity.
You need a strong, non judgemental friend. Most people understand a broken heart, but get confused by self sabotage. Show them this anxiety forum.
You need a strong, non judgemental friend. Most people understand a broken heart, but get confused by self sabotage. Show them this anxiety forum.
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Hurt&Hopeful
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I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's really, really hard. Stop and take a deep breath - you're not ruining anyone's life, including your own.
Relationships are really hard with anxiety. Question: did you ever talk to Mitch about the anxiety and how you were feeling? I've found it helps to just be transparent about it. Tell him what you're going through, and that you don't know why or understand it. A good man won't be scared of that, and will support you through it, whether you're 'together' as a couple or not. It's okay to take a step back and try to figure it out, get some therapy, breathe, get healthier, and then if it's right, it will happen. Either way, nothing is permanent and you haven't damaged him or yourself by stepping back, ok? But talk to him if you haven't - be honest. I promise this will get better, and I hope you find some support around you. You're not alone in feeling this way!
Relationships are really hard with anxiety. Question: did you ever talk to Mitch about the anxiety and how you were feeling? I've found it helps to just be transparent about it. Tell him what you're going through, and that you don't know why or understand it. A good man won't be scared of that, and will support you through it, whether you're 'together' as a couple or not. It's okay to take a step back and try to figure it out, get some therapy, breathe, get healthier, and then if it's right, it will happen. Either way, nothing is permanent and you haven't damaged him or yourself by stepping back, ok? But talk to him if you haven't - be honest. I promise this will get better, and I hope you find some support around you. You're not alone in feeling this way!
Hurt&Hopeful
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