Relationships

[Concernedgal]

I have been married a long time .
I love my husband but, it seems like I do 70% percent of everything in this relationship.
I'm the only one that works and when I get home . ..I have to be the perfect house keeper. It's not like he demands a perfect home I just feel judgment coming from him if I don't.
I guess this is my insecurity talking but, I feel like everything I do is not good enough for this man and it's not fair because all I do is try and it doesn't seem to matter to him.
He does some things for me like pick me up and drop me off at work because of my anxiety. ....I don't have a driver license.
But, here's the point to all of this...
Do you think him having to deal with my anxiety disorder is making him resent me??

 

[janemariesayed]

I have been married a long time .
I love my husband but, it seems like I do 70% percent of everything in this relationship.
I'm the only one that works and when I get home . ..I have to be the perfect house keeper. It's not like he demands a perfect home I just feel judgment coming from him if I don't.
I guess this is my insecurity talking but, I feel like everything I do is not good enough for this man and it's not fair because all I do is try and it doesn't seem to matter to him.
He does some things for me like pick me up and drop me off at work because of my anxiety. ....I don't have a driver license.
But, here's the point to all of this...
Do you think him having to deal with my anxiety disorder is making him resent me??

Good grief, you need to get him out to work. It sounds like he is just ponsing off of you. You work and do the work at home. Yet all he has to do is what? Pick you up and drop you off at work. Wow.

If that was me, I would probably start to eat out and not do any housework. But, you are married, that is for better or for worse. It seems like you are keeping your vows to love and care for but he is very lapsing indeed.

Can you get him to a marriage guidance counsellor?

Why on earth are you worried about your anxiety making him resent you? He should be the one worried about his wife resenting him for not working and being a lazy so and so. He doesn't live in a hotel and you are not a wench.

 

[Concernedgal]

Good grief, you need to get him out to work. It sounds like he is just ponsing off of you. You work and do the work at home. Yet all he has to do is what? Pick you up and drop you off at work. Wow.

If that was me, I would probably start to eat out and not do any housework. But, you are married, that is for better or for worse. It seems like you are keeping your vows to love and care for but he is very lapsing indeed.

Can you get him to a marriage guidance counsellor?

Why on earth are you worried about your anxiety making him resent you? He should be the one worried about his wife resenting him for not working and being a lazy so and so. He doesn't live in a hotel and you are not a wench.

I think I do resent him.
Seriously thinking about divorce .

 

[Hopeful0]

I can sympathize with you. My husband also expects a lot from me and I don’t always feel appreciated. On top of my worry I know I take things to extreme. I do however think it would be helpful for your husband to work. Then maybe he can have something else to focus on. I hope this helps you.

 

[Concernedgal]

I can sympathize with you. My husband also expects a lot from me and I don’t always feel appreciated. On top of my worry I know I take things to extreme. I do however think it would be helpful for your husband to work. Then maybe he can have something else to focus on. I hope this helps you.

Nothing is going to change.
I think it' s over.

 

[janemariesayed]

I think I do resent him.
Seriously thinking about divorce .

That is such a huge shame. I always think it is sad when a marriage breaks up. I do remember your posts and how you have been feeling for a long time now.

Before you go down the divorce route, think first about how you would feel if he was not in your life. If you were to never, ever see him again how would you feel? If he married another woman, how would you feel? How would you feel if you never got married again and he did?

Would you miss him? How would you feel eating alone, sleeping alone, with no one to argue or cuddle with? What about getting to work? How would you do that?

I think though, after all this time that it isn't your illness that is making you feel this way. Something has to change for both of you. Perhaps telling him to go out and get work or its over may make him sit up and listen.
I know you are sensible and will do the right thing for you both in the end. I'm here for you hunny.