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Really anxious about upcoming surgery...

Hurt&Hopeful

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Okay, my surgery is scheduled for Monday morning, here in my home town. I ultimately had to make a judgement call, and I need to get this over with before I am hospitalized for anxiety lol. I am both relieved and terrified - gonna be an interesting weekend. But Monday is MLK Jr. day here in the U.S., so it's even convenient for the family that need to help me, drive me, feed me...

I know this doctor, and he is kind and patient. I spoke openly with him about my anxiety and panic issues, and the PTSD I have when it comes to hospitals and anesthesia. He called me personally today and gave me his cell for the weekend. So if I have to climb this mountain, this is about as good as it gets. Deep breaths.
 

Hurt&Hopeful

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Does anyone else agree that physical PAIN also increases anxiety? I think that's pretty of what I'm experiencing here...
 

Rosy

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I am so happy that this will soon be over. Am praying everything goes okay and you heal fast. I'll be checking in on you.
 

Hurt&Hopeful

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I am so happy that this will soon be over. Am praying everything goes okay and you heal fast. I'll be checking in on you.
Thanks!!! I'll probably be in a drug-induced stupor for a couple of days. :rolleyes: But we'll see. They're saying that I might actually be immediately more mobile than I am now, so I'm hoping the worst will be over quickly. I'm more worried about this weekend and Monday morning than the recovery to get honest.
 

Rosy

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Naturally, that's understandable. But I know you will be fine. I will be thinking of you.
 

Hurt&Hopeful

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Naturally, that's understandable. But I know you will be fine. I will be thinking of you.
Thank you! I'm so grateful for my overall health, and the health of my family. A caring doctor, a loving husband, parents close by that can help with childcare, a supportive church family, a job where I can work from home for a while.... it's truly best case scenario. I can't complain. I can still freak out though. Ha!
 

Rosy

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You have a lot going for you. But can't bIame you for freaking out. lol I would too. But you get over it and do what you have to do. That's the important thing.
 

Hurt&Hopeful

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You have a lot going for you. But can't bIame you for freaking out. lol I would too. But you get over it and do what you have to do. That's the important thing.
Yep, I would like to be able to move my leg again. That's a motivator ... You know, maybe I shouldn't share this, but I was feeling really sorry for myself after one of the consultations this week, and I was crying in the car from pain and exhaustion. I was being pretty dramatic, actually...right then, we passed the local children's hospital, and I suddenly thought about my friends who spent 8 weeks there with their newborn, and my other friend who took their child in and never got to bring them home... I adjusted my attitude real quick. There is no actual big problem to solve here - just anxiety, which I've survived so far.
 

Rosy

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Yep, I would like to be able to move my leg again. That's a motivator ... You know, maybe I shouldn't share this, but I was feeling really sorry for myself after one of the consultations this week, and I was crying in the car from pain and exhaustion. I was being pretty dramatic, actually...right then, we passed the local children's hospital, and I suddenly thought about my friends who spent 8 weeks there with their newborn, and my other friend who took their child in and never got to bring them home... I adjusted my attitude real quick. There is no actual big problem to solve here - just anxiety, which I've survived so far.
I'm so glad you did share that, It made me think about my petty problems and made me come out of my depression tonight. You helped me with what you said. Never think something like that is not good to share. With your attitude you will do great. Glad you are here.
 

Hurt&Hopeful

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I'm so glad you did share that, It made me think about my petty problems and made me come out of my depression tonight. You helped me with what you said. Never think something like that is not good to share. With your attitude you will do great. Glad you are here.
Well, thanks. But your problems are not petty - we all have our struggles. And they are all valid. Take care of yourself!
 

prismpower

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@Hurt&Hopeful

Surgery is A LOT less nerve wrecking than getting an MRI. At least it was for me, I've had both and would take the surgery again any day of the week. You don't even feel yourself going to sleep. It just happens, and there's nothing to be afraid of. Having to get an MRI done was just horrid, they like wanted to rush me through it without first explaining things properly. If you had a MRI done, you can more than handle surgery. You got this. <3
 

Hurt&Hopeful

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@Hurt&Hopeful

Surgery is A LOT less nerve wrecking than getting an MRI. At least it was for me, I've had both and would take the surgery again any day of the week. You don't even feel yourself going to sleep. It just happens, and there's nothing to be afraid of. Having to get an MRI done was just horrid, they like wanted to rush me through it without first explaining things properly. If you had a MRI done, you can more than handle surgery. You got this. <3
Thanks! Yeah, I didn't enjoy the MRI at all, but I also didn't have my full body in (just half). So it was weird, but probably much worse with your head in. Sorry you had to do that....
 

Hurt&Hopeful

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Whew, anyone else having a rough day? Swelling and pain are worse today, so I'm stuck on a bed obsessing. And finding weird parts of the internet. Spent part of the morning watching a Japanese cartoon of a lazy egg yolk. It's going down hill, folks. :banghead:
 

triceps

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Whew, anyone else having a rough day? Swelling and pain are worse today, so I'm stuck on a bed obsessing. And finding weird parts of the internet. Spent part of the morning watching a Japanese cartoon of a lazy egg yolk. It's going down hill, folks. :banghead:
Hi Hurt. Had my typical rough morning but doing better now. Judging from your post times, it looks like you had trouble sleeping last night. Keep thinking that soon you'll be back on your feet, very soon. Will they just be fitting you for a knee brace and you'll walk out of there on Monday? Keep your chin up.
 

Hurt&Hopeful

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Hi Hurt. Had my typical rough morning but doing better now. Judging from your post times, it looks like you had trouble sleeping last night. Keep thinking that soon you'll be back on your feet, very soon. Will they just be fitting you for a knee brace and you'll walk out of there on Monday? Keep your chin up.
Yeah, pain kept me up quite a bit, unfortunately. I thought I might as well see who else was awake - ha! Misery loves company, right?

I won't be walking out, no - I'll be on crutches for a while. But I expect to be able to at least straighten my leg, and begin bending it slowly over a few days. Right now, it's locked so tight in one position that the thigh and calf muscles are starting to twitch and spasm, which is crazy painful. I honestly don't care what they do as long as they unlock this mess lol.
 

Rosy

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Hi Hurt&Hopeful, Having an okay day so far. Never know how its going to go. This is all going to be over in a couple of days. I know you will do fine. Think how good it will be to not have the pain and to be able to walk. Pain and not being mobile is part of what is making the anxiety worse and soon most of that will be gone. Keeping you in my thoughts.
 

Hurt&Hopeful

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Hi Hurt. Had my typical rough morning but doing better now. Judging from your post times, it looks like you had trouble sleeping last night. Keep thinking that soon you'll be back on your feet, very soon. Will they just be fitting you for a knee brace and you'll walk out of there on Monday? Keep your chin up.
So this is my salvation today. I'm identifying (perhaps too much) with this egg... :D

 

Hurt&Hopeful

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Hi Hurt&Hopeful, Having an okay day so far. Never know how its going to go. This is all going to be over in a couple of days. I know you will do fine. Think how good it will be to not have the pain and to be able to walk. Pain and not being mobile is part of what is making the anxiety worse and soon most of that will be gone. Keeping you in my thoughts.
SO glad you're having a good day! It's snowing lightly where I am, so I'm trying to enjoy watching that....
 

Hurt&Hopeful

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Hi Hurt. Had my typical rough morning but doing better now. Judging from your post times, it looks like you had trouble sleeping last night. Keep thinking that soon you'll be back on your feet, very soon. Will they just be fitting you for a knee brace and you'll walk out of there on Monday? Keep your chin up.
@triceps, when you say 'typical rough morning,' what does that look like for you? Do you wake up anxious?
 

triceps

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@triceps, when you say 'typical rough morning,' what does that look like for you? Do you wake up anxious?
Each and every morning I wake up so anxious that I'm in a state I call "completely baffled". Sometimes I'm unable to feed our dog. Thankfully, I'm always able to let her outside to do her "business". Every little task including doing my "business" just seems so complicated. If I don't have the coffee pot set up so I just flip the switch, it'll be at least an hour before I've settled down enough to be able to put a new filter, coffee and water into the coffee maker. Seems like rocket science at the time. It's a couple of hours before I can take my daily shower as heaven forbid, we're talking a really complicated task there. Plus I always embarrass myself if I look down. So very simple tasks just overwhelm me each morning during my "baffled" period. If I have something I have to go to I get up three hours beforehand otherwise I feel rushed. Weird eh?
 
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