Grace360
Active Member
- Joined
- May 19, 2019
- Messages
- 971
- Reaction score
- 122
So im stuck in quarentine with my mom. About a year ago today I wouldn't have a problem with it. We would be dandy, cheery, having fun. But me and my moms relatipnship has been.. strained to say the least. A relationship tore us apart in which she was being controlled. Torn away from her family and me. Its why I always fear her being in relationships so constantly. Theres always some issue. Theres an influx of time with them. She gets more easily irritated at family, especially me. She has called me a b*tch multiple times in the last year. Now I have lashed out and been disrespectful. I wont act like I haven't.
Maybe I wouldn't though if my mom wasn't in her room playing games and speaking with her boyfriend 23/24 houes of the day, and she talked to me more. Engaged with me more, instead of only coming out to be angry, yell, or tell me I'm getting bigger. Her relationship with me is important because its not like I can just go to another parent. I have an absentee father. So when I have no dad and a dang near absent mom.. it affects me. I lash out. But its no excuse for her having such a short temper with me and spending no time with me.
Another problem is she jokes with us constantly. But she has made mistakes. I make a joke too close to home and she gets uber defensive. I cant give her her own medicine.
Its just hard. And even when I tell my therapist, theres a generational gap. They are all older, I'm 16. Its hard to give my side of the story when they say stuff like "but hormones" "but your just a CHILD" "shes the AUTHORITY" "no excuse for you" "ALWAYS respect your elders" like. Things are different now for me, sorry. I respect if I'm given respect. Calling me a b*tch and making no time for me isn't respect. Older doesn't equal correct. But its hard to say that to people stuck in there ways.
Its just hard. I can barely talk to even my therapist about it and at this point I dont have anyone to tell it to. Not like I have friends.
I just had to get that out of me. It takes a lot for me to cry and I did today following an arguement with her. Crying is the only way out.
Maybe I wouldn't though if my mom wasn't in her room playing games and speaking with her boyfriend 23/24 houes of the day, and she talked to me more. Engaged with me more, instead of only coming out to be angry, yell, or tell me I'm getting bigger. Her relationship with me is important because its not like I can just go to another parent. I have an absentee father. So when I have no dad and a dang near absent mom.. it affects me. I lash out. But its no excuse for her having such a short temper with me and spending no time with me.
Another problem is she jokes with us constantly. But she has made mistakes. I make a joke too close to home and she gets uber defensive. I cant give her her own medicine.
Its just hard. And even when I tell my therapist, theres a generational gap. They are all older, I'm 16. Its hard to give my side of the story when they say stuff like "but hormones" "but your just a CHILD" "shes the AUTHORITY" "no excuse for you" "ALWAYS respect your elders" like. Things are different now for me, sorry. I respect if I'm given respect. Calling me a b*tch and making no time for me isn't respect. Older doesn't equal correct. But its hard to say that to people stuck in there ways.
Its just hard. I can barely talk to even my therapist about it and at this point I dont have anyone to tell it to. Not like I have friends.
I just had to get that out of me. It takes a lot for me to cry and I did today following an arguement with her. Crying is the only way out.
