Purpose.

[Seamy Bob]

Hi all,

I'm just on this to speak to others about what we live with and sometimes the depths of despair we feel. I really want to just get a lot out of my system as well, however selfish that may be.

The last year has really broke me down to the worst and most uncomfortable I've ever felt with myself.

Around this time last year, coming up to my birthday and graduation, my relationship was breaking down. This was a relationship with someone that I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with after near four years together. I still love her very much but that ship has sailed. Since then, I've relocated back home and live with my parents. I'm in a job that I don't enjoy and is not helped with my anxiety disorder (I am a support worker for people with addiction) and I don't feel like I have any sort of purpose in life. I feel like i'm drowning and am constantly numb.

I'm lost, and I really don't know what to do, where to go, and I don't know who I am anymore. I'm a shell of who I once was.

How the hell do I come back from this?

 

[MainerMikeBrown]

Seamy Bob, how long have been employed at this job that you don't enjoy? Is their something else you'd rather do for work instead? And why do you dislike your current job?

The reason I ask is that if you can get a job that you like more, I think it would help make you more happy and feel like you have more of a purpose in life.

 

[Seamy Bob]

Hi MainerMikeBrown.

I've been in this job around seven months now. I only applied because of all the opportunities there were in my hometown, the job was the only one I felt was something I could excel in. My degree and the job are completely different as I come from a sporting background, not a care work background.

Currently in this climate with the craziness of whats going on there is very little I can do but stick to what I'm already doing. I'm Irish and moved back after university from Scotland due to a break up in my relationship, but will be moving back once this pandemic has calmed down.

 

[Hurt&Hopeful]

Hey there, and welcome! First, you're not selfish at all - we are ALL here to get help and support, so good for you for sharing.

Second, that's a lot to process at once, especially in the middle of a global health/economic crisis. I know every situation is different, but I would imagine a lot of us have been in a similar place where we feel like there is no hope or way out, and that we will always feel as bad as we do at that moment. I know I have. A couple of times, if I'm honest. I promise that it DOES get better. You need time to heal from heartbreak, and you need time to figure out what you do next when the world calms down a bit and the economy is moving. And you are in a job that is really mentally and emotionally demanding. So you also might need some help - is there a mental health therapist you can talk to where you are?

I promise it gets better. We're glad you are here.

 

[Seamy Bob]

Hurt&Hopeful,

Thanks very much for your kind words. They are appreciated massively and I'm glad to be here. I'd hope to speak to others in the supportive manner you have me throughout my time here.

We do have counsellors available yes, and I've pondered the idea. I went cold turkey off my medication as well a few months ago which wasn't very smart. It doesn't exactly change the fact that how I am currently feeling would have been better, heart break is heart break. I ran from the hurt last year but the time I had to recuperate and build myself back up, I feel I'm getting there.

 

[MainerMikeBrown]

Seamy Bob, how has moving back with your parents worked out for you so far? Are they good to live with and easy to get along with?

 

[Seamy Bob]

MainerMikeBrown, it's been fine. I prefer my own company and love being in my own place but they have been a massive support and helped me a lot when I came back. I was going through a terrible time and I don't know how that'd have been without them. I have an amazing relationship with them and my other family members so I'm very lucky.

 

[MainerMikeBrown]

Seamy Bob, I'm glad to read that your parents are very supportive and have helped you out a lot.

I think an adult living with his or her parents is often a good thing. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing.

 

[Seamy Bob]

I agree with you to a certain extent. They were there for me when I needed them, and I appreciate not everyone has that support network.

 

[MainerMikeBrown]

I'm glad you have a good support network, Seamy Bob.

I do as well. My parents have always been there for me, including when I was having mental health issues back in the day.

 

[Hurt&Hopeful]

You're welcome, @Seamy Bob . We have all been there. You know, I was actually thinking about what you said - How the hell do I come back from this.... Something happened this weekend (death of a friend) that kind of sent me spiraling into a cloud of regret, sadness, thinking about the past, feeling stuck... I don't think we do 'come back' from it. We move forward. Like you said, that ship has sailed and we move in to something else. For some reason, that is extra hard for people with anxiety.

 

[Joshua1]

Hi all,

I'm just on this to speak to others about what we live with and sometimes the depths of despair we feel. I really want to just get a lot out of my system as well, however selfish that may be.

The last year has really broke me down to the worst and most uncomfortable I've ever felt with myself.

Around this time last year, coming up to my birthday and graduation, my relationship was breaking down. This was a relationship with someone that I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with after near four years together. I still love her very much but that ship has sailed. Since then, I've relocated back home and live with my parents. I'm in a job that I don't enjoy and is not helped with my anxiety disorder (I am a support worker for people with addiction) and I don't feel like I have any sort of purpose in life. I feel like i'm drowning and am constantly numb.

I'm lost, and I really don't know what to do, where to go, and I don't know who I am anymore. I'm a shell of who I once was.

How the hell do I come back from this?

The most simple answer is by being more focused, and holding onto what is important.