I've got this problem that I rarely share aloud because it seems silly. I've got a lovely group of friends and we only converse in their native language, not mine. I feel like languages are one of the few things I'm decent at, and sometimes people tell me this too, which is of course nice to hear. One of the friends speaks softly and quickly, making it hard to hear and then doubly had when it's not my native language (harder to guess what she may be saying). I've noticed that each time I meet her, she will comment when she sees I didn't fully catch what she says. Sometimes it's the way she says things, so more expressions I don't know. When she sees I missed something--or when she thinks I did but I didn't (both cases happen)--she'll say something like, "I wish I could speak English better to tell you" or "oh you understood!" Sometimes this is in front of others. She is a sweet person, but somehow it always makes me feel judged and that she doesn't consider me to be good at speaking her language. Bottom line: I don't think she means any harm, but to me it always sounds a bit patronizing. I ty to ignore it because I know she is kind. The fact that it happens every time I meet this friend, makes me feel nervous, and then I really cannot take time and express myself properly. I've resigned myself to accept that I won't be perfect and that maybe I'm not as good as I thought I was, but the experience of this is so draining and upsetting. It makes me lose confidence, particularly in the moment. I know this is a small problem, but it just is exhausting at times. I lose the small bit of confidence I had, and it bothers me to think my friend sees me as incapable. Has anyone experienced this? Does it make sense to react this way? I hope I can find a way to overcome this; maybe it's just by improving at the language...?
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