probably the dumbest thing on this forum

[Rue]

i'm literally so dumb, i don't even know how i landed myself in this situation

a few days ago, the trimester just ended, so i took a nap when i got home. it was probably because of stress, but i had a nightmare. i have a friend, and we've been friends for about a month, and he has really bad social anxiety. and in my dream, he got a panic attack, and i tried to help him, but while helping him, he turned into a monster and scared me, and turned back to human and continued with his attack. so after helping him, some people started took him away and then they all ignored me. when i woke up, i couldn't really think about him or anything because anything just reminds me of his face when he turned me into the monster. btw, for people who don't know about my previous posts, i'm a 14 year old girl who's scared of monsters. nice to meet you.

we talk a lot over dms, but he probably realized something was wrong coz i wasn't able to say anything. i was going to tell him what happened afterwards, but i eventually gave in and told him.

now i don't know what to do. should i pretend like nothing happened after i get better? how do i talk to him? i just need advice. i wish i didn't tell him.

 

[triceps]

Hi Rue. I'm glad you told him. Holding back something like a weird dream will only lead to holding back other things which will eventually doom your relationship. He can handle it, it's just your anxiety which makes it such a major thing in your mind. Hopefully now that you expressed your fears, and they are now in the past, you'll be able to speak with him more freely.

 

[guitarman65]

Hi Rue. I'm glad you told him. Holding back something like a weird dream will only lead to holding back other things which will eventually doom your relationship. He can handle it, it's just your anxiety which makes it such a major thing in your mind. Hopefully now that you expressed your fears, and they are now in the past, you'll be able to speak with him more freely.

 

[guitarman65]

Anxiety making something a "major" thing in our minds...PERFECT description TRI

 

[Hurt&Hopeful]

Hey Rue - good to see you on here! That sounds really scary - our minds can play really mean tricks on us. I'm also really glad you told your friend what happened. If he's REALLY your friend, he can handle it, and he will be patient while you work through it. I know it's scary, though - there is always that deep fear that someone will leave (turn into an ACTUAL monster by rejecting us). But don't let that fear get in the way of your friendship. You have nothing to be ashamed of, and it's only a big deal if you decide it is. I predict that someday you and this friend will be able to laugh about this together - until then, give him the chance to be your true friend by being honest with him. The fear will pass...

 

[LarryH3]

I'm sorry your brain and anxiety are telling you that you are dumb. (You're not.) When I was your age (a long time ago), I wouldn't have shared a dream like that either. But, I can't imagine how much better my life would have been if I'd shared more with others. (I was and still am, very shy.) You'd be surprised how many things you think are weird about you that are just weird about many of us! Only late in life did I begin to embrace my weirdness and enjoy the weirdness of others.

 

[Brad66]

RUE the obsession will fade in time. State to yourself or better yet write down your actual thoughts and feelings toward this person and just let the disturbing thoughts come when you are around him for now without trying to force them out. Eventually your true feelings will prevail.

I had a dream when I was in high school that my one friend came to school and started shooting people. I still think about that dream today and for a while I was uncomfortable around the friend (he was a happy guy too who would never do something like that so the dream was unrealistic) eventually I ended up with a million good memories of the friend. So now when I think of him even if the dream comes to mind I can dismiss it with quickly with other memories.