Post anxiety? Is that a thing?

[MelanieS13]

Hello, I am 49 years old. I have suffered from anxiety and depression for most of my adult life as well as mood swings. I take 60mg of cymbalta to control those things.

I was married for 20 years, the last 10+ years were very unhappy and stressful. For a long time I got so used to the extreme stress, I didn't even realize it was so bad until I left. It has been 5 years and I have been very happy. I am in a healthy relationship and I really have no reason for too much stress, other then the daily ****. But I am physcially TENSE all the time, clenching my jaw all day, ringing hands, picking at cuticals, fidgeting all the time. I can't sleep due to anxiety. But it's all physical. Nothing in my head stressing me out. Has anyone else experienced this and know what it is. I have been to therapy and drs and no one really helped. One therapist said my brain needs to readjust... how long will this take! Its causing me a ton of issues in my daily life. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

 

[triceps]

I'm 69 years old and have generalized anxiety disorder. I've had many of the same symptoms as you including the clenching of teeth and am on lexapro and clonopin. I too am anxious all day long with differing levels of functionality. Obviously, you're not alone in this situation. It's great that it has improved by switching partners. Your therapist says your brain just needs to adjust. I disagree, as my experience shows that sometimes your anxiety disorder is life long (until they address it with medication that addresses the disease and not just tempering the symptoms) and the therapy should be towards accepting and coping that you have a mental illness. Being open to friends and family has helped me improve my situation quite a bit but I still struggle with the symptoms.

 

[MATD]

You and triceps can recover. Research Dr Claire Weekes’s work on anxiety recovery. She describes anxiety as getting stuck in a grove on a record. It becomes a habit of thinking and we get stuck there. Her acceptance method is the key to recovery. Regardless of our present situation, there are obvious reasons for our anxiety if we choose to look for them. It stems from low confidence. Our upbringing and past life experiences are usually at the root of the low confidence. It is possible to recover. I’m 64, have had anxiety since I was a small child and I’m in recovery thanks to Dr Weekes’ work. It does take work on our part and willingness to face the anxiety.

 

[MelanieS13]

My issue isn't just having anxiety. I have dealt with my anxiety for over 22 years now. What I'm talking about is that just since my divorce, I have physical signs of anxiety/tension that shouldn't be there 24/7. My anxiety, my normal depression and anxiety comes and goes and will always come with dark thoughts and I know how to deal with that. This isn't the same thing... this isn't just normal anxiety.

My marriage was extremely stressful. I was dealing with an abnormal amount of stresses that at the time, my body and mind became so accustomed to that I didn't even see them as stress. It was normal to me.

But as soon as I told my ex I wanted a divorce, in my mind I was thrilled... a means to a very long end. But that is when the tension started. It's like my brain is telling my body it's ok to finally relax but my body is like "F THAT, lets just get worse!" I have never had this kind of tension in my body before. And it's becoming a vicious cycle since it's disrupting my sleep to the point where I am exhausted all the time, which of course, does not help my body to relax. It almost feels like PTSD but I don't have a lot of those symptoms.

 

[Mark G]

The mind is a crazy thing. Think of what you're experiencing now as a kind of 'Stockholm Syndrome' When you become accustom to a permanently stressful period in your life, the stress becomes part of your waking mind, part of your functioning, part of your logic, reasoning, pretty much everything. So when the cause of the stress is removed, the actual stress doesn't really go anywhere because your the foundations of the stress switch from the original reason to a new reason (why do i not feel normal) The vicious cycle is then energized

 

[MATD]

Change in your life can bring on worsening of symptoms. Good changes or bad. Regardless, we with anxiety do not handle change well. It is something out of the ordinary, which brings on more anxiety. Common. As to the situation between you and hubby is that you have become conditioned to the stress. Your mind was trained, if you will, to react to the stress automatically and it became a habit. Dr Weekes’ acceptance method still applies here. It can help get you out of that conditioned habit.

 

[Mark G]

Yep, acceptance is the only long term solution.

 

[MelanieS13]

The mind is a crazy thing. Think of what you're experiencing now as a kind of 'Stockholm Syndrome' When you become accustom to a permanently stressful period in your life, the stress becomes part of your waking mind, part of your functioning, part of your logic, reasoning, pretty much everything. So when the cause of the stress is removed, the actual stress doesn't really go anywhere because your the foundations of the stress switch from the original reason to a new reason (why do i not feel normal) The vicious cycle is then energized

Change in your life can bring on worsening of symptoms. Good changes or bad. Regardless, we with anxiety do not handle change well. It is something out of the ordinary, which brings on more anxiety. Common. As to the situation between you and hubby is that you have become conditioned to the stress. Your mind was trained, if you will, to react to the stress automatically and it became a habit. Dr Weekes’ acceptance method still applies here. It can help get you out of that conditioned habit.

Thank you, a lot of that makes sense. I will look up Dr. Weekes' acceptance method give it a go. Much appreciated