Please help me! Anxiety is so complicated! Can’t figure it out!

[MasterRoshi]

Hi, so I’ll try to make my story brief and then try and convey my current state of anxiety (which reoccurrs often).

Basically, my anxiety has prevented me from heing able to do healthy things longterm, and also from achieving life goals such as building a career etc... so for a period of time I am able to do healthy stuff daily like meditation, exercise eating healthy, sleep schedule and other things. I also seem to have a boost in confidence and feeling hopeful that I’ll get better as long as I keep doing the healthy stuff.

This leads me to try the exposure therapy stuff cuz I’m still isolated at home notnengsging in anxiety provoking activities like job interviews or social gatherings. So I start to apply myself in Many ways and start to join life. This is where the problem kicks in...

The anxiety provoking activities make my brain be consumed by a tornado of chaos and even if my life literally hasn’t changed much (still no job just job applications and interview for example), everything starts to feel really overwhelming. Nothing seems to make sense anymore. I spend every second of every day with lots of anxiety, confusion, and I can’t have a moment to relax.

Where before, I could treat my morning routine as a positive improvement in life and it gave me subtle hope, it now is just something I can’t show up for with confidence and all I can think about is how I can’t shake this anxiety thing and it won’t go away. So I can’t do my morning healthy stuff with a positive outlook.

Then I get this feeling like everything is slimming out of control, and there’s no way to escape this tailspin cycle. And I need to stop everything, regroup, and start over completly back at the beginning. Cuz I can’t think straight, I can’t get a moment to breath, I don’t have any clarity, I’m so overwhelmed that I can’t have a moment to relate or escape this cycle. And I try to go to the woods and hike, or to the beach and walk, but they don’t work. Its still a tailspin; it’s still a downward spiral and I can’t get any clarity or a moment of peace and quiet.

This tailspin has made me sick this week. I went to bed with a sore throat and woke up feeling better. Having symptoms like this is normal for me in these moments cuz my immune system gets messed up. Also, increased acne and back pain.

All of this nonsense is in my head, cuz logically I think about my life and it’s nicdiffeent from 2 months ago when I was feeling more positive and not overwhelmed as much...

So I’m trying to figure out what the frick I do in these moments to regain control!??!?!?!?! I want to be able to have portions of my day where I can regain peace of mind and feel relaxed and not completely consumed 24/7 by this (actually 24/7 cuz I have bad anxiety dreams every night too)...

I want to be able to accept life as it comes to me like a Buddhist does, but when it’s this intense nothing seems to be able to break the cycle.

Please help!

Here’s what I’m doing daily/weekly for my recovery so far...
Daily

• sleep schedule
• meditate
• pray
• journal a lot (pen and paper)
• exercise (calisthenics and cardio)
• therapy 1 per week
• CBT exercises
• being honest and talking with my parents and friends about what I’m experienceing (but ive reached the limit of their ability to understand my brain, so they're just worried and confused)

 

[MasterRoshi]

It’s like I want to be able to say to myself (and actually believe it!)

“chill out, man. You can’t control any of this. Just relax sit back and enjoy the ride of life. Things happen. It’s all the flow of life and it’s ok. Just be happy, relaxed, and enjoy every moment you are alive cuz life is precious”

But I can’t belive this. It doesn’t seem possible. I want to have this be apart of my core beliefs so I don’t have to get anxious about stuff and spiral out of control...

 

[Rinka]

It seems like a hard one, because you lived with it for quite some time and it’s very intense. What kind of therapy are you having? It seems as if your problem is a very deep laying one, some maybe counselling with psychoanalysis might help you?

Also you mentioned meds? Are you taking them daily? Have you talked with your doctor about bi-polar? This might be something worth looking into.

 

[Kimberly Hunt]

My recommendation would be to inquire about something called Genesight. I was privy to knowledge from my therapist about this website and one of her clients' parents used this website to determine what medicine was best for his son based on medical facts. When he started taking the medication that best suited his body, he was completely changed.
It may cost a pretty penny however, and that may deter you. I think therapy would help tremendously and you could ask your therapist about the Genesight. I believe it works with a DNA swab.

 

[MasterRoshi]

It seems like a hard one, because you lived with it for quite some time and it’s very intense. What kind of therapy are you having? It seems as if your problem is a very deep laying one, some maybe counselling with psychoanalysis might help you?

Also you mentioned meds? Are you taking them daily? Have you talked with your doctor about bi-polar? This might be something worth looking into.

In not using medication. I want to avoid it. My therapist said medication is used tmfor a short period of time but the psychotherapy work to change still has to be done.

I’m doing CBT

 

[The_Lex_Files]

First I want to start by saying how happy it made me to see a picture of the Turle Hermit on your avatar!! Awesome!!

I share a similar struggle when it comes to exposure therapy so I try to avoid it as best as I can which isn’t good because I can easily fall back into my hypochondria days. If I have to do something social I panic and have to take a Xanax It works, but I hate that I have to rely on a pill to bring me back to the here and now.

You should ask your therapist about EMDR! This helps out a ton to tackle undiscovered memories that might be buried deep inside of you that may be causing some of your symptoms. When I tried it with my therapist I found out part of my anxiety issues came from learning it from my dad. He had anxiety about thinking he was going to be late to any function or appointment he had. I picked that up at an early age remembering that I’d have to eat my breakfast super fast so I don’t miss the bus for school. That lead me to have anxiety about getting to my job 30-45 moms early(just to wait in my car until I can clock in), my doctors appointments and EVERYTHING. I feel I have to leave at an early time because I don’t want to be late and it ruins my day because I put so much pressure on myself. This is why I also avoid social gatherings because I don’t want to run into traffic or take time to find somewhere to park. Sorry for the rambling I think I got off track, lol.

I wish you best of luck and hope you find something that works!!

 

[The_Lex_Files]

I meant agoraphobic days, not hypochondria lol

 

[MasterRoshi]

I meant agoraphobic days, not hypochondria lol

Thanks for the help. I’ll ask my therapist about emdr

 

[Summers]

Hi, so I’ll try to make my story brief and then try and convey my current state of anxiety (which reoccurrs often).

Basically, my anxiety has prevented me from heing able to do healthy things longterm, and also from achieving life goals such as building a career etc... so for a period of time I am able to do healthy stuff daily like meditation, exercise eating healthy, sleep schedule and other things. I also seem to have a boost in confidence and feeling hopeful that I’ll get better as long as I keep doing the healthy stuff.

This leads me to try the exposure therapy stuff cuz I’m still isolated at home notnengsging in anxiety provoking activities like job interviews or social gatherings. So I start to apply myself in Many ways and start to join life. This is where the problem kicks in...

The anxiety provoking activities make my brain be consumed by a tornado of chaos and even if my life literally hasn’t changed much (still no job just job applications and interview for example), everything starts to feel really overwhelming. Nothing seems to make sense anymore. I spend every second of every day with lots of anxiety, confusion, and I can’t have a moment to relax.

Where before, I could treat my morning routine as a positive improvement in life and it gave me subtle hope, it now is just something I can’t show up for with confidence and all I can think about is how I can’t shake this anxiety thing and it won’t go away. So I can’t do my morning healthy stuff with a positive outlook.

Then I get this feeling like everything is slimming out of control, and there’s no way to escape this tailspin cycle. And I need to stop everything, regroup, and start over completly back at the beginning. Cuz I can’t think straight, I can’t get a moment to breath, I don’t have any clarity, I’m so overwhelmed that I can’t have a moment to relate or escape this cycle. And I try to go to the woods and hike, or to the beach and walk, but they don’t work. Its still a tailspin; it’s still a downward spiral and I can’t get any clarity or a moment of peace and quiet.

This tailspin has made me sick this week. I went to bed with a sore throat and woke up feeling better. Having symptoms like this is normal for me in these moments cuz my immune system gets messed up. Also, increased acne and back pain.

All of this nonsense is in my head, cuz logically I think about my life and it’s nicdiffeent from 2 months ago when I was feeling more positive and not overwhelmed as much...

So I’m trying to figure out what the frick I do in these moments to regain control!??!?!?!?! I want to be able to have portions of my day where I can regain peace of mind and feel relaxed and not completely consumed 24/7 by this (actually 24/7 cuz I have bad anxiety dreams every night too)...

I want to be able to accept life as it comes to me like a Buddhist does, but when it’s this intense nothing seems to be able to break the cycle.

Please help!

Here’s what I’m doing daily/weekly for my recovery so far...
Daily

• sleep schedule
• meditate
• pray
• journal a lot (pen and paper)
• exercise (calisthenics and cardio)
• therapy 1 per week
• CBT exercises
• being honest and talking with my parents and friends about what I’m experienceing (but ive reached the limit of their ability to understand my brain, so they're just worried and confused)

Hey! Welcome to the forum! You are definitely right in the thick of things, which I know is brutal. One thing that stood out to me is your comments about medication. Sure, drugs like Ativan and Xanax are temporary, but there are more longer term drugs like SSRIs that are very effective. In your case, it sounds like they could really benefit you. You can get the relief you need and then work out your issues with your therapist in preparation to get off the medicine when you are ready.

Some people can beat the anxiety with just therapy and other methods, but not everyone. Sounds like you are following many of the steps that I followed to get over my anxiety. The CBT and prayer really worked for me.

How long have you been seeing your therapist?

 

[Summers]

First I want to start by saying how happy it made me to see a picture of the Turle Hermit on your avatar!! Awesome!!

I share a similar struggle when it comes to exposure therapy so I try to avoid it as best as I can which isn’t good because I can easily fall back into my hypochondria days. If I have to do something social I panic and have to take a Xanax It works, but I hate that I have to rely on a pill to bring me back to the here and now.

You should ask your therapist about EMDR! This helps out a ton to tackle undiscovered memories that might be buried deep inside of you that may be causing some of your symptoms. When I tried it with my therapist I found out part of my anxiety issues came from learning it from my dad. He had anxiety about thinking he was going to be late to any function or appointment he had. I picked that up at an early age remembering that I’d have to eat my breakfast super fast so I don’t miss the bus for school. That lead me to have anxiety about getting to my job 30-45 moms early(just to wait in my car until I can clock in), my doctors appointments and EVERYTHING. I feel I have to leave at an early time because I don’t want to be late and it ruins my day because I put so much pressure on myself. This is why I also avoid social gatherings because I don’t want to run into traffic or take time to find somewhere to park. Sorry for the rambling I think I got off track, lol.

I wish you best of luck and hope you find something that works!!

Lex,

Haha I was going to say how much I related to your story until you corrected hypochondria to agoraphobic Have you tried Ativan as opposed to Xanax? It doesn't make you as loopy or drowsy as Xanax. I know how comforting it is to just have that in your pocket for emergencies.

 

[The_Lex_Files]

Lex,

Haha I was going to say how much I related to your story until you corrected hypochondria to agoraphobic Have you tried Ativan as opposed to Xanax? It doesn't make you as loopy or drowsy as Xanax. I know how comforting it is to just have that in your pocket for emergencies.

Never thought of Ativan. I’m going to ask my doctor about it Thanks!

 

[MasterRoshi]

Hey! Welcome to the forum! You are definitely right in the thick of things, which I know is brutal. One thing that stood out to me is your comments about medication. Sure, drugs like Ativan and Xanax are temporary, but there are more longer term drugs like SSRIs that are very effective. In your case, it sounds like they could really benefit you. You can get the relief you need and then work out your issues with your therapist in preparation to get off the medicine when you are ready.

Some people can beat the anxiety with just therapy and other methods, but not everyone. Sounds like you are following many of the steps that I followed to get over my anxiety. The CBT and prayer really worked for me.

How long have you been seeing your therapist?

I’ve been working with her for about 3 months once a week.

But the first 2 months was focused on depression caused by my wife leaving me (due to my depression and anxiety) and my porn addiction stuff (most of the depression is better).

So working on anxiety is very new

 

[Hurt&Hopeful]

Hi MasterRoshi, and welcome! Sorry you're having such a hard time - you are not alone in your struggle. I just wanted to say that I understand the desire to avoid medication, because you want to address the root of the problem. I'm the same way - I get it. But sometimes it's impossible to get to that point in therapy without getting your body and brain to calm down first. Someone else here mentioned SSRI medications - yes, they were initially targeted towards depression, but the seratonin-balancing effects can do wonders for generalized anxiety and agoraphobia as well. I have been on and off of Lexapro during the past 5 years, and for me, I just think more clearly and I'm better able to tackle the hard problems and triggers when I can think. It's NOT a substitute for doing the hard work. But it might help you regain some of your quality of life while you do it.

I hope you can get some relief - it sounds like you're really dedicated to your recovery, and that's a GREAT thing! you will get there!

 

[Summers]

I’ve been working with her for about 3 months once a week.

But the first 2 months was focused on depression caused by my wife leaving me (due to my depression and anxiety) and my porn addiction stuff (most of the depression is better).

So working on anxiety is very new

Yeah what Hurt&Hopeful said is exactly what I mean. It's hard to heal a wound that is wide open...