Perfectionism/fear of the unknown

[Future PA with HA]

Hi! I’ve recently been posting on the health anxiety forum but I’m new here! I suffer from anxiety that I believe to be caused by perfectionism- specifically situations where I have a perceived lack of control. I’m in a very weird situation where most of my college friends have “real” salary earning jobs and I’m stuck in a low earning low satisfactory job while I wait to start school again. I feel like I have no control of my life and I can’t keep up! I have always been a high achiever and “ahead of the game” and now I feel like a failure even though I’m about to attend my dream school. I have every reason to be grateful for this but I just feel anxious and it’s causing me to become bitter. I only have two months left of this transition period and I wish I could just see the bigger picture and know that things will be better. Anyone else get anxious when they feel out of control or behind?

 

[Future PA with HA]

I also catastrophize things as evidenced by my recent health anxiety scare. I wish I could stop this!

 

[Brad66]

How old are you?
Do you currently see a therapist?

 

[Future PA with HA]

How old are you?
Do you currently see a therapist?

I’m 24, and I very much want to but right now can’t afford one due to saving for school. Once I start I can go to student health for free so right now I’m trying to find ways to cope until then.

 

[Wanting to get better]

I think it is very common for anxiety to increase when feeling lack of control. It’s good that you are reaching out to others for support. It’s so important that you know you are not alone. So many people share these anxiety issues. Staying connected face to face with others is so helpful, even though it can feel like the last thing you want to do.

 

[Brad66]

I’m 24, and I very much want to but right now can’t afford one due to saving for school. Once I start I can go to student health for free so right now I’m trying to find ways to cope until then.

Yea I think it would be a good idea for you right now. By the way you described yourself you seem like you are a very functional person however you will need learn how to accept uncertainty or else that fear will hold you back.

I think finding a good ACT therapist would be very helpful to you. In the meantime I would recommend find a book on ACT for self help. Just one though and reread it as much as necessary. You don't want to get "sucked into" the help self spiral and trying to perfect your life that way. Too much of that stuff is bad for you with your personality type and desire for perfection.

I would say to get a Claire Weekes book as she is the pioneer of ACT treatment but I don't know if she would be appropriate at your current level. Her treatment methods are great but you may feel like she isn't speaking to you as most of her examples deal with people with extreme GAD or obsessions that manifests into social issues or agoraphobia. However I used to suffer from health anxiety and her books helped me a lot.

 

[Future PA with HA]

I think it is very common for anxiety to increase when feeling lack of control. It’s good that you are reaching out to others for support. It’s so important that you know you are not alone. So many people share these anxiety issues. Staying connected face to face with others is so helpful, even though it can feel like the last thing you want to do.

Aww thank you! I’m at the beginning of this journey. I’ve always been an anxious person and it very much runs in my family but I’ve always tried to be tough and not burden others. But now I think I’m at the point where I very much need some people to lean on

 

[Future PA with HA]

Yea I think it would be a good idea for you right now. By the way you described yourself you seem like you are a very functional person however you will need learn how to accept uncertainty or else that fear will hold you back.

I think finding a good ACT therapist would be very helpful to you. In the meantime I would recommend find a book on ACT for self help. Just one though and reread it as much as necessary. You don't want to get "sucked into" the help self spiral and trying to perfect your life that way. Too much of that stuff is bad for you with your personality type and desire for perfection.

I would say to get a Claire Weekes book as she is the pioneer of ACT treatment but I don't know if she would be appropriate at your current level. Her treatment methods are great but you may feel like she isn't speaking to you as most of her examples deal with people with GAD or agoraphobia. However I used to suffer from health anxiety and her books helped me a lot.

Yes I am very functional right now and reading everyone’s stories makes me so grateful for that. There are so many people who have it worse than me and I feel for them so much!
I definitely think an ACT therapist would be so beneficial to me right now because I have some very dysfunctional thinking habits. I tend to go into my anxiety spirals at the end of the day when all my responsibilities are over and I’m alone and stuck with my thoughts. It’s almost like I crash from being functional all day... I’ve had panic attacks where I can barely breathe, senses of impeding doom, also periods where I just wanted to give up on trying to be happy and not reach out to any of my friends. I know a lot of these feelings are experienced by everyone at some point but I definitely feel that I’m at the point where I need to start getting professional help to manage my thoughts and feelings. I’ve tried to self help and I’m fine for a little but then something happens and I relapse into a negative spiral
The health anxiety is the first dysfunctional thinking pattern I’m trying to target- it’s a specific behavior that exemplifies my tendency to catastrophize
I very much appreciate your response and feedback!

 

[Brad66]

Yes I am very functional right now and reading everyone’s stories makes me so grateful for that. There are so many people who have it worse than me and I feel for them so much!
I definitely think an ACT therapist would be so beneficial to me right now because I have some very dysfunctional thinking habits. I tend to go into my anxiety spirals at the end of the day when all my responsibilities are over and I’m alone and stuck with my thoughts. It’s almost like I crash from being functional all day... I’ve had panic attacks where I can barely breathe, senses of impeding doom, also periods where I just wanted to give up on trying to be happy and not reach out to any of my friends. I know a lot of these feelings are experienced by everyone at some point but I definitely feel that I’m at the point where I need to start getting professional help to manage my thoughts and feelings. I’ve tried to self help and I’m fine for a little but then something happens and I relapse into a negative spiral
The health anxiety is the first dysfunctional thinking pattern I’m trying to target- it’s a specific behavior that exemplifies my tendency to catastrophize
I very much appreciate your response and feedback!

I am not sure if you have read my thread or not about reassurance but it's worth a read for you.
https://www.anxietycommunity.com/index.php?threads/why-searching-the-internet-for-reassurance-is-bad.3736/

I think you and I have a lot in common however you are seeking help a few years before I did and that is encouraging. I knew I had issues but would never admit them and didn't address them until after I had a major breakdown. I think you will be able to avoid that if you continue down the right path

 

[Future PA with HA]

I am not sure if you have read my thread or not about reassurance but it's worth a read for you.
https://www.anxietycommunity.com/index.php?threads/why-searching-the-internet-for-reassurance-is-bad.3736/

I think you and I have a lot in common however you are seeking help a few years before I did and that is encouraging. I knew I had issues but would never admit them and didn't address them until after I had a major breakdown. I think you will be able to avoid that if you continue down the right path

Thank you again for all of your help! Though it’s not a pleasant thing to have in common with someone and I don’t wish these problems on either of us, it’s nice to feel not so alone or different. Sometimes I just feel so bad for thinking this way because I have so much to be grateful for and I want to stop fixating on the negatives in my life.

I will keep everyone posted on when I start therapy!

 

[Brad66]

Thank you again for all of your help! Though it’s not a pleasant thing to have in common with someone and I don’t wish these problems on either of us, it’s nice to feel not so alone or different. Sometimes I just feel so bad for thinking this way because I have so much to be grateful for and I want to stop fixating on the negatives in my life.

I will keep everyone posted on when I start therapy!

Well we could always have it worse. Just keep in mind that there is no right way of thinking. Every person on this Earth is just doing the best they can to make their way through life given their situation. Try and not compare yourself to others, only compared yourself today to who you were yesterday and try to improve on that.

It also helps to do your best not to pass judgement on others for how they lead their lives and get through their days. Because in the end there is no right way, just different ways all with their pros and cons. Just follow what makes the most sense to you and for you! Have sympathy for everyone including those you disagree with. Control what you can control and accept the things you can't. I think that is the best advice.