Strawberry Banana Sundae
Member
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2022
- Messages
- 85
- Reaction score
- 11
My family is rather complicated and it’s pretty much one of the main reasons why I’m easily depressed and anxious. I have a difficulty talking to them, mainly because they don’t seem to listen, even though they tell me they’re listening but they’re really not. I’m not allowed to talk in public because they would always tell me to lower my voice, every single goddamn time. And yet they’re totally fine with THEM talking to their hearts’ content. I pointed this out to them several times, but they always excuse it with dad being a man, and mom having plenty of people she knows. But for me, absolutely nothing whatsoever!
My parents would argue and complain over everything, and when I tell them to stop, they would say “we’re not complaining” or “we don’t whine like you do”. When they start a fight with anybody and I try to reason with them, they will keep acting arrogant to the point where it makes me enraged and then they will tell me to calm down, when they’re the ones pushing my buttons. I was desperate to discuss about how they are being difficult with me because they won’t stop acting so contrary. For example, they would first tell me that I need to take my food I just ordered to go into the place they’re going. Then later on, they would rat me out and demand “why are you not eating?” while I’m still in the car and dad’s fumbling around the building trying to find a place to park but he really wants to see if there are people out there. I want to scream in his face “THERE ARE PEOPLE EVERYWHERE!! JUST PARK THE DAMN CAR!!”. Another time, dad gave me money to order my food, but the lights in my back row were broken and dad didn’t even bother how much he actually gave me. He assumed it was eleven dollars but he actually gave me twenty dollars (two ten dollar bills). But I didn’t know that until when I went to take my change, I looked at the ten dollar bill in my hand and thought “oh crap! I just gave her a one dollar bill” and tried to give the cashier lady a ten dollar bill but mom stopped me and yelled at me outside that I wasn’t paying enough to my money. Usually I don’t bother with counting my money until I go to pay for something.
Another example, mom and dad were frustrating the hell out of me when I was trying to discuss how difficult they were being to me. And they made things worse for me, by telling me to talk in a low tone, as if women should know any better into the way they talk. They act like I was screaming like a banshee, but I wasn’t. I was talking in the manner I normally talk in. The truth is, they cannot handle the way I talk, and they cannot handle me when I’m dominating in the conversation, yet they don’t care a bit when they blubber their jaws off while I remain silent. Even more ironically so, if I talk to them as quiet as a mouse, they don’t seem to hear me, and they lack a response to my statements. Again, they will often say “I can hear you” yet they will contradict themselves by telling me “what are you even talking about?!”. They will give me dirty looks when I talk in public but don’t give a **** when they’re doing the talking, because they’re the parents and I’m the child (an ADULT child). They will tell me to stop moving my hands and place them over my lap like a “good girl”, when they cannot accept the fact that my mental health condition makes me have a habit with moving my hands to get people to understand me. They get angry when I blow my nose in public when they will NOT let me go to the bathroom, and I have everyday allergies because to them I don’t “clean my nose right” and I “snort like a hog”. My stresses will make the runny nose worse and me trying to bottle my true emotions up damages my health.
My parents are often stuck in traditional standards as if we’re still living in the 1960’s. Both of my parents were raised in that era. They think corporal punishment unfair double standards are acceptable. But now I find it utterly ridiculous because I was raised in the new millennium where women had more rights than they did when my parents were children. But they cannot seem to handle the fact of change. They cannot handle the fact that having emotions is normal, and my body doesn’t work the way THEY want to think it does. They act like it’s easy for me to control my emotions at the moment of conflict when they don’t have a clue. It just makes me seethe with rage that they won’t treat me like a human being and instead like I’m their pet.
Sorry if I’m talking too much, just a bunch of crap going on and needed to get this off my chest.
My parents would argue and complain over everything, and when I tell them to stop, they would say “we’re not complaining” or “we don’t whine like you do”. When they start a fight with anybody and I try to reason with them, they will keep acting arrogant to the point where it makes me enraged and then they will tell me to calm down, when they’re the ones pushing my buttons. I was desperate to discuss about how they are being difficult with me because they won’t stop acting so contrary. For example, they would first tell me that I need to take my food I just ordered to go into the place they’re going. Then later on, they would rat me out and demand “why are you not eating?” while I’m still in the car and dad’s fumbling around the building trying to find a place to park but he really wants to see if there are people out there. I want to scream in his face “THERE ARE PEOPLE EVERYWHERE!! JUST PARK THE DAMN CAR!!”. Another time, dad gave me money to order my food, but the lights in my back row were broken and dad didn’t even bother how much he actually gave me. He assumed it was eleven dollars but he actually gave me twenty dollars (two ten dollar bills). But I didn’t know that until when I went to take my change, I looked at the ten dollar bill in my hand and thought “oh crap! I just gave her a one dollar bill” and tried to give the cashier lady a ten dollar bill but mom stopped me and yelled at me outside that I wasn’t paying enough to my money. Usually I don’t bother with counting my money until I go to pay for something.
Another example, mom and dad were frustrating the hell out of me when I was trying to discuss how difficult they were being to me. And they made things worse for me, by telling me to talk in a low tone, as if women should know any better into the way they talk. They act like I was screaming like a banshee, but I wasn’t. I was talking in the manner I normally talk in. The truth is, they cannot handle the way I talk, and they cannot handle me when I’m dominating in the conversation, yet they don’t care a bit when they blubber their jaws off while I remain silent. Even more ironically so, if I talk to them as quiet as a mouse, they don’t seem to hear me, and they lack a response to my statements. Again, they will often say “I can hear you” yet they will contradict themselves by telling me “what are you even talking about?!”. They will give me dirty looks when I talk in public but don’t give a **** when they’re doing the talking, because they’re the parents and I’m the child (an ADULT child). They will tell me to stop moving my hands and place them over my lap like a “good girl”, when they cannot accept the fact that my mental health condition makes me have a habit with moving my hands to get people to understand me. They get angry when I blow my nose in public when they will NOT let me go to the bathroom, and I have everyday allergies because to them I don’t “clean my nose right” and I “snort like a hog”. My stresses will make the runny nose worse and me trying to bottle my true emotions up damages my health.
My parents are often stuck in traditional standards as if we’re still living in the 1960’s. Both of my parents were raised in that era. They think corporal punishment unfair double standards are acceptable. But now I find it utterly ridiculous because I was raised in the new millennium where women had more rights than they did when my parents were children. But they cannot seem to handle the fact of change. They cannot handle the fact that having emotions is normal, and my body doesn’t work the way THEY want to think it does. They act like it’s easy for me to control my emotions at the moment of conflict when they don’t have a clue. It just makes me seethe with rage that they won’t treat me like a human being and instead like I’m their pet.
Sorry if I’m talking too much, just a bunch of crap going on and needed to get this off my chest.
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