Parenting with Social Anxiety

[amy88]

This has been something that has really been tough for me.


Battling social anxiety but knowing that your child still needs to interact with other kids (and naturally, you having to interact with their parents) has been tough for me.


I'm not the kind of person who will say "hey - wanna bring your kids over to my house?!" so I rely on others doing it...and even then I find it hard. It's like I have to force myself to do it, for my daughter's sake.


How do those of you that are parents manage this side of things? I don't want my kiddo to grow up with the same kind of anxieties I have!

 

[janemariesayed]

Oh God, that must be so difficult. I often think that if I had children then my anxiety wouldn't be so bad but now I see that inclination isn't true.

I would say have an open house for your child. Let them invite whoever they want, whenever they want. If you feel an anxiety attack coming on you cold go to your bedroom and shut the door. Stay there until you have composed yourself and then venture out again. You might even find that putting yourself in the situation may help you to deal with it in the long run.

 

[misszerable]

This was also one of my worries as a parent. I didn't want my child to go through the same situations I've gone through in life. I want him to start building lasting friendships with people. There were times when I had to go to school which inevitably places me in contact with parents of my child. I had to start a conversation in some cases, and while this could be awkward at first, knowing the other parents can be beneficial for my child and his studies. It was harder in the early years of schooling because parents have to join the field trip and while some parents naturally takes to social situations like this, I don't.

However, I am grateful that my son is turning out to be a social butterfly. At his age, he knows more people in the neighborhood than I do. He gives high fives to guards at the mall/stores and says hi to vendors we've bought from. He's not burdened by negative thoughts about people and have no insecurities whatsoever. I find myself talking to people who give nice comments about him. This little guy is giving my life a new direction. I'd like to go with the flow and let him take me anywhere he wants to go.

 

[bria9090]

It's the same for me and my daughter. I have to force myself to do things I normally wouldn't do for the sake of my little one. Some days are better than others but I still try.

 

[Rosyrain]

It is tough to do kids play dates and stuff when you suffer from anxiety. Parents often want to stay or have you stay to visit when the kids are playing. I also do it for my kids but it is hard. I find that having a lot of snacks around helps because then you can try out the snacks and talk about them...just my thing. Once I get comfortable with the parents, it's not that bad, but it's hard the first couple of meetings.

 

[Eavie]

This has been something that has really been tough for me.


Battling social anxiety but knowing that your child still needs to interact with other kids (and naturally, you having to interact with their parents) has been tough for me.


I'm not the kind of person who will say "hey - wanna bring your kids over to my house?!" so I rely on others doing it...and even then I find it hard. It's like I have to force myself to do it, for my daughter's sake.


How do those of you that are parents manage this side of things? I don't want my kiddo to grow up with the same kind of anxieties I have!

amy88
I am the same way. I have 3 children still at home and they each have very different personalities. The youngest my daughter evidently inherited what I thought was not a genetic issue or issue(s) because of the abuse I went through as a child. But rather it is genetic and it drives me crazy. I would rather much read a book than carry on a conversation with another person. It is emotionally draining. But back to my 7 year old she is not as bad as me but she has the introverted nature. I however at times won't leave my house for the weekend because of an attack. When I go to work if it wasn't for having to pick up the phone or make phone calls I would put plugs in my ears because the noise of others drives me insane to the point that I want to just scream out loud for everyone to shut up.
But when one of my kids goes to a friends house I with over analyze if someone may be hurting them or not. I cannot sleep because the thoughts are overwhelming. I think however I am an un-helpable case.

 

[Rinka]

amy88
[...] my 7 year old she is not as bad as me but she has the introverted nature. I however at times won't leave my house for the weekend because of an attack. .

Hello @Eavie,
I think that some of the trades that we are experiencing are genetic predispositions. It depends on the experiences of the individual, how those predispositions are expressed. It's the nature vs. nurture thing. Please don't worry too much about your child. She might have an introvert nature, which is not a bad thing, it depends on how she is able to experience and express herself. I think she needs the freedom to be introvert, without being forced otherwise. But she might also need support to handle difficult social situations.

 

[Eavie]

Hello @Eavie,
I think that some of the trades that we are experiencing are genetic predispositions. It depends on the experiences of the individual, how those predispositions are expressed. It's the nature vs. nurture thing. Please don't worry too much about your child. She might have an introvert nature, which is not a bad thing, it depends on how she is able to experience and express herself. I think she needs the freedom to be introvert, without being forced otherwise. But she might also need support to handle difficult social situations.

Rinka
Thanks for the response. That does make sense. I have had to learn to back and let her just be. I am learning. But this parenting thing is a job within itself. I am learning myself because I didn't have a healthy upbringing. So I do a lot of reading and praying.