I wanna put my story out there and try to help someone too.
Please excuse my Grammer and spelling. I was diagnosed with with high functioning autism in grade school as a result im not very good at grasping new Concepts sadly this planted the up hill struggle that I face as a adult. Soo devoled a drug addict and for awhile. If it got me high I would do it.
It was just easier then dealing with learning in a highschool setting. Whitch is we're bullying and social anxiety cause my first panic attacks. So I dropped out I feel into gangs to support my habbet it was around this time I meet my wife. I did not want to engage in dating doe to age and I knew she would not support my lifestyle.
In few years a had two homies die one O.D the other killed and countless others end up in prison I soon realized my statistics was not looking good. I left town for my home town and went to a rehab provided by the Salvation Army.
After my step father passed away I return home everything was great I know I was well on my way to quitting smoking cigarettes which which currently still quit amazingly.
It was them I begin to date the women im married too and 18 months later we had are doughter. And I woke up the next day a completly changed man knowing all I wanted to do was provide. Due to criminal convictions I could not get a good job nor am I capable of holding down a good job due to the struggles I have with autism I soon began to to develop crippling anxiety and and what made it worse she had I gotten a decent job and began to work full time...sadly I relapse and began to smoke marijuana which I still enjoy today my panic attacks rwere daily and sadly my newborn baby and my wife had to ender it on both fronts I was so mean and nasty to them both of those only because I was so anxious and down with myself finally after my baby was 18 months old I began to work but still suffered from dayly anxiety and panic attacks I wanedt medical help Soo had but my past drug history keep my doctor from being unreluctant to prescribe anything as a result my marijuana use doubled and sort of figured out a way to work parent and function all while being a user im not very proud of it but it's the only thing I got that help me from going too deep
We eventually gave birth to a baby boy and I wanted to make more money to support my family Soo I quite my job delivering pizza too make better money.
I failed. And now jobless the stress of not being able to pay rent and other bill is 100% overwhelming and to make it worse I can't aford my only cope. my wife in beyond supportive I eager wait for a vicentame I have a hard time looking at my babies and knowing it'll be ok I want my family all under the same roof
Anxiety is affecting my day-to-day life sleeping eating and how I interact with my family and my motivation I hate it
Please excuse my Grammer and spelling. I was diagnosed with with high functioning autism in grade school as a result im not very good at grasping new Concepts sadly this planted the up hill struggle that I face as a adult. Soo devoled a drug addict and for awhile. If it got me high I would do it.
It was just easier then dealing with learning in a highschool setting. Whitch is we're bullying and social anxiety cause my first panic attacks. So I dropped out I feel into gangs to support my habbet it was around this time I meet my wife. I did not want to engage in dating doe to age and I knew she would not support my lifestyle.
In few years a had two homies die one O.D the other killed and countless others end up in prison I soon realized my statistics was not looking good. I left town for my home town and went to a rehab provided by the Salvation Army.
After my step father passed away I return home everything was great I know I was well on my way to quitting smoking cigarettes which which currently still quit amazingly.
It was them I begin to date the women im married too and 18 months later we had are doughter. And I woke up the next day a completly changed man knowing all I wanted to do was provide. Due to criminal convictions I could not get a good job nor am I capable of holding down a good job due to the struggles I have with autism I soon began to to develop crippling anxiety and and what made it worse she had I gotten a decent job and began to work full time...sadly I relapse and began to smoke marijuana which I still enjoy today my panic attacks rwere daily and sadly my newborn baby and my wife had to ender it on both fronts I was so mean and nasty to them both of those only because I was so anxious and down with myself finally after my baby was 18 months old I began to work but still suffered from dayly anxiety and panic attacks I wanedt medical help Soo had but my past drug history keep my doctor from being unreluctant to prescribe anything as a result my marijuana use doubled and sort of figured out a way to work parent and function all while being a user im not very proud of it but it's the only thing I got that help me from going too deep
We eventually gave birth to a baby boy and I wanted to make more money to support my family Soo I quite my job delivering pizza too make better money.
I failed. And now jobless the stress of not being able to pay rent and other bill is 100% overwhelming and to make it worse I can't aford my only cope. my wife in beyond supportive I eager wait for a vicentame I have a hard time looking at my babies and knowing it'll be ok I want my family all under the same roof
Anxiety is affecting my day-to-day life sleeping eating and how I interact with my family and my motivation I hate it
I read it and have to say that I’m proud of you countering all those difficulties, especially with autism/Asperger. I suppose having lived through what you have and now being responsible for three other people must be very draining and scary especially if you want to provide but have difficulties with it. Have you ever thought of learning how to code a website or a computer program? You can teach it to yourself online. You can learn at your own pace and the way you want it. This might be something you could earn money with and be self employed.