Paranoia

[Hooligan1214]

I have really bad anxiety and my partner is pretty understanding, but he also loves to comment on other women's physical features and his best friend at work is a younger female with large breasts (to which he says- who cares if I'm friends with her because of her boobs, as long as i don't act on it). He's told me that I have to trust him and my paranoia and fears are on me...and I dont want my anxiety to come between us, but every day I feel like I'm swallowing this huge pill and then having to be this happy housekeeper. I feel less than. I feel fat and unatteactive. I feel like a keeper and not a sexual object cause he's got this pretty big titted girl at work. Ive expressed myself to him but he says its all in my head. I dont want to bother him with my fears, but I'm sad and scared and feel used and ugly and stupid

 

[Cuchculan]

I have no idea why he ever had to even mention this girl at work in the first place. If he had never of mentioned her, would you have known she existed? That is the part he done wrong. Fed you an idea. That was wrong of him if he knows how your mind works. I doubt he will ever do anything with this girl at work. She could be happily involved with someone else. He never should have even mentioned her to begin with. Simple as that. But you might be two different people. That does not mean you are lesser person than she is. Big tits don't make you a model. Might get you a few looks. Come the end of the day her life might be hell for all we know. If she knew everybody looked at her breasts. What is to say she likes this? She most probably hates it. Hpw would you feel if people liked you for your breasts alone? We have no idea what she is going through. She might be paranoid as well for other reasons. Come the end of the day he never should have even mentioned her to you and her breasts.

 

[Hooligan1214]

Thank you

 

[Hooligan1214]

I feel like at this point I should just be the cool girl and tell him to **** her. Thats clearly what he wants to do. His mind has a space for her...hes brought her up multiple times this weekends in connection to sexual things. I should just let him **** her and be happy rather than be anxious and possessive. I want to do make up better, be skinnier, be a better woman. But I have always thought that shallow **** was embarrassing to be obsessed with, but thats what guys want. They want all that. They claim to want the personality and the empathy and the sweetness, but they want the tits and the makeup and the tight stomach. We are supposed to be planning our wedding and I was so excited and had so many ideas and now I feel like whats the point.

 

[Hooligan1214]

I just wanna give up like I don't see a purpose to keep going

 

[Oracle42]

You are worth much more than that. Your partner is not supposed to make you feel that way. He is supposed to reassure you instead of telling you it's all in your head. And no letting him do what he wants doesn't make you the "cool" girl. Value yourself!! You are a queen! You are beautiful as you are! You have worth! confront him and tell him you do not appreciate him bringing her up and that out of respect he should not talk about other people nor make comments in front of you. And if you still feel like you love him let him know that he is losing you by hurting you this way.

It would make any partner feel anxious if the other kept talking about someone else. Trust me I've been there. Your feelings aren't unrealistic.

Hope this helps

 

[Howlingvapor]

You need to be 100% honest with how he’s making you feel. If he dismisses you or your feelings by telling you it’s all in your head or that you’re being paranoid than maybe he isn’t the man for you. I can say personally if I saw one of my friends talk to his woman that way I’d cuss him out for being the embodiment of everything a man shouldn’t be. A real man listens to his partner and takes their feelings into account, a real man doesn’t tell his girlfriend about the girls he’s attracted to at work. That’s bull crap and you shouldn’t have to accept it.

That all being said you should still give him at least one chance to rectify his behavior. Sit him down and have a serious talk with him about it. At that point it’s out in the open, he knows how you feel and if he doesn’t do anything about it that’s on him. While it’s important to put your concerns about your partner’s loyalty into perspective when you have anxiety, it’s also important not to dismiss your feelings because of it. Using your anxiety as a way to get away with treating you poorly by saying you’re being paranoid just isn’t right.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Cuchculan]

I just wanna give up like I don't see a purpose to keep going

Life is special. Call it a gift if you would. A creation if need be. And with it we were brought into this beautiful creation. To explore its beauty. But with beauty always comes danger. The negative follows the positive. The walk side by side. Right now you are on the negative path. But the positive path is still there. Running along side the negative path. Just a case of seeing something good on the positive path and making the jump over. The negative path is always rougher to walk on. Everything on that path goes against us. To reach the positive path a change in direction might be needed. To let go of something that holds one to the negative path. To clear the way to walk on the other path once more. Were life is always so much easier and the sun is always shining. Sounds like a path that everybody should be walking on. But so many people are held back. Kept in the darkness of the negative path. They stay because they think they can make the negative path as bright as the positive path. Or simply wish changes happen by themselves. But those changes have to be made to happen. Then this whole new world will open up in front of you.

 

[Hooligan1214]

I really appreciate everyones contribution. I find it exhausting to mull this over, I find it exhausting to simeltaneously feel "good enough" when I feel less than. But all of your words have truly helped...I wish instead of the repeating record of self doubt and hate I had you guys in my head.

 

[Cuchculan]

When feeling down listen to this song. Words always ring true.