Paranoia, suspicion, and not trusting people

[_Lukas]

For those of you suffering from PTSD, C-PTSD, or other trauma/abuse/stress-related disorders, do you find that you have a hard time trusting people and that you're often paranoid and suspicious of peoples' motives?
I'm paranoid, suspicious, and I feel like I can't trust most people. I'm always paranoid that everyone I meet is tied to my abuser in some way and that he's going to come find me through them.

 

[janemariesayed]

For those of you suffering from PTSD, C-PTSD, or other trauma/abuse/stress-related disorders, do you find that you have a hard time trusting people and that you're often paranoid and suspicious of peoples' motives?
I'm paranoid, suspicious, and I feel like I can't trust most people. I'm always paranoid that everyone I meet is tied to my abuser in some way and that he's going to come find me through them.

Absolutely! Although I don't think that they are connected to my abusers but I do think that they are like my abusers or will turn out to be abusers and abuse me somehow.

 

[_Lukas]

Absolutely! Although I don't think that they are connected to my abusers but I do think that they are like my abusers or will turn out to be abusers and abuse me somehow.

I'm sorry it happens to you too, but I'm glad I'm not alone.
I always think people are going to abuse me somehow too. Every time I go into a social situation, I go in thinking "I'm going to get bullied" or "Some of these people are going to turn out to be abusive."

 

[janemariesayed]

I'm sorry it happens to you too, but I'm glad I'm not alone.
I always think people are going to abuse me somehow too. Every time I go into a social situation, I go in thinking "I'm going to get bullied" or "Some of these people are going to turn out to be abusive."

It always seems to work out that way for me anyway. They may be as nice as pie for the first length of time, then you get to know what people are really like. That is what I avoid like the plague.

 

[_Lukas]

It always seems to work out that way for me anyway. They may be as nice as pie for the first length of time, then you get to know what people are really like. That is what I avoid like the plague.

That is so true. Some people seem nice at first but my experience with people has been that a lot of them have turned on me (not all, but a lot). Avoiding people like the plague is a good idea, I wish my work and school environments allowed me to do that.

 

[janemariesayed]

That is so true. Some people seem nice at first but my experience with people has been that a lot of them have turned on me (not all, but a lot). Avoiding people like the plague is a good idea, I wish my work and school environments allowed me to do that.

That is one of the reasons why I'm a bit of an agoraphobic hermit! lol

 

[_Lukas]

That is one of the reasons why I'm a bit of an agoraphobic hermit! lol

I don't blame you at all! Sometimes I wish I had a shell to curl up and hide in like a snail.

 

[janemariesayed]

It's just that I find people quite difficult. I'm always afraid that they will do something to harm me one way or another. I know I am safe with my dogs, even if one of them is a pitty (Staffy!)

 

[_Lukas]

It's just that I find people quite difficult. I'm always afraid that they will do something to harm me one way or another. I know I am safe with my dogs, even if one of them is a pitty (Staffy!)

I feel the same way about people most of the time. I'm very suspicious of most peoples' motives and I'm very reserved in most social situations.
I know I'm safe with my dogs too. Lol no one will ever mess with me or Dave when they see us walking with two Pit Bulls, two Dobermans, and a German Shepherd!
We've adopted a second Pitty just this morning! His name is Sebastian and we were going to foster him, but fell in love and are keeping him. Such is the danger of fostering dogs lol.
Now Bartek isn't the only boy dog in the house with all the girls running around lol. And Nova has another Pitty cousin to play with!
You would love this shirt I got from work recently, it has a picture of a Pit Bull on it and it says "Pit Bull lives matter." I also have a German Shepherd Rescue shirt and a Doberman Rescue shirt. I love working for the Rescue League because our mission is to educate people about these misunderstood breeds and try to put an end to Breed-Specific Legislation.
I hope to work in animal rescue for the rest of my life and I'll always be the "crazy dog guy" lol.

 

[janemariesayed]

I feel the same way about people most of the time. I'm very suspicious of most peoples' motives and I'm very reserved in most social situations.
I know I'm safe with my dogs too. Lol no one will ever mess with me or Dave when they see us walking with two Pit Bulls, two Dobermans, and a German Shepherd!
We've adopted a second Pitty just this morning! His name is Sebastian and we were going to foster him, but fell in love and are keeping him. Such is the danger of fostering dogs lol.
Now Bartek isn't the only boy dog in the house with all the girls running around lol. And Nova has another Pitty cousin to play with!
You would love this shirt I got from work recently, it has a picture of a Pit Bull on it and it says "Pit Bull lives matter." I also have a German Shepherd Rescue shirt and a Doberman Rescue shirt. I love working for the Rescue League because our mission is to educate people about these misunderstood breeds and try to put an end to Breed-Specific Legislation.
I hope to work in animal rescue for the rest of my life and I'll always be the "crazy dog guy" lol.

Those t-shirts sound like fun, and a good way to put a message across to people. So you have five dogs now! Woohoo, I bet it's fun in your house! lol My mum just visited with her dog so there were three here for a couple of days. Their dog is a cockapoo that is a cross betwixt a coca spaniel and a poodle. His name is Bailey and he is a lovely dog. He is a little afraid of Carl but they all manage okay and there were no fights. It's lovely when there is a larger pack, especially if they all get on well.

 

[_Lukas]

Those t-shirts sound like fun, and a good way to put a message across to people. So you have five dogs now! Woohoo, I bet it's fun in your house! lol My mum just visited with her dog so there were three here for a couple of days. Their dog is a cockapoo that is a cross betwixt a coca spaniel and a poodle. His name is Bailey and he is a lovely dog. He is a little afraid of Carl but they all manage okay and there were no fights. It's lovely when there is a larger pack, especially if they all get on well.

Cockapoos are adorable! We rarely get them at my work because we're mainly a Bully Breed rescue. We do take all breeds when dogs are in crisis though and we're a no-kill organization so we will save any dog from another shelter. When I first worked there we had a Springer Spaniel/Poodle mix who was very cute.
That must have been fun visiting with your mom and her dog! I'm glad the dogs didn't fight, but that's too bad that Bailey was scared of Carl. I'm sure Carl just wants to play!
Nova (Pitty) was a little afraid of Malenka (Shepherd) when we first brought her home, which was a bit silly because Malenka was a tiny puppy! I think Nova just doesn't have much of a parental instinct and doesn't know what to do with little puppies lol. Malenka is almost seven months old now and she and Nova get along great because they're about the same size now. I think Malenka is going to be very tall though, she has super long legs!

I don't think we're going to stop at five dogs, lol! Of course I can't bring every single dog home from work, but occasionally there's one that I just fall head over heels for and can't bring myself to pass them along to another home. We originally weren't going to keep Bartek and Bella, they were supposed to be fosters too, but when Dave and I were approached about giving them up to a different forever home we were like "Nope, we've fallen in love!"
Dave isn't the kind of person you would ever picture having Pitties and Dobies but he loves them just as much as I do! I've always been a Doberman, German Shepherd/Belgian Shepherd/Dutch Shepherd, Pitty, Staffy, Rottweiler, Boxer, Bulldog, etc. type of guy. I love working dogs and I'm especially partial to the breeds that get a bad rap. I couldn't ever see myself with a Golden Retriever or a Labrador, even though they're nice dogs too.
I know I'm rambling lol but I could talk about dogs forever!

 

[janemariesayed]

Cockapoos are adorable! We rarely get them at my work because we're mainly a Bully Breed rescue. We do take all breeds when dogs are in crisis though and we're a no-kill organization so we will save any dog from another shelter. When I first worked there we had a Springer Spaniel/Poodle mix who was very cute.
That must have been fun visiting with your mom and her dog! I'm glad the dogs didn't fight, but that's too bad that Bailey was scared of Carl. I'm sure Carl just wants to play!
Nova (Pitty) was a little afraid of Malenka (Shepherd) when we first brought her home, which was a bit silly because Malenka was a tiny puppy! I think Nova just doesn't have much of a parental instinct and doesn't know what to do with little puppies lol. Malenka is almost seven months old now and she and Nova get along great because they're about the same size now. I think Malenka is going to be very tall though, she has super long legs!

I don't think we're going to stop at five dogs, lol! Of course I can't bring every single dog home from work, but occasionally there's one that I just fall head over heels for and can't bring myself to pass them along to another home. We originally weren't going to keep Bartek and Bella, they were supposed to be fosters too, but when Dave and I were approached about giving them up to a different forever home we were like "Nope, we've fallen in love!"
Dave isn't the kind of person you would ever picture having Pitties and Dobies but he loves them just as much as I do! I've always been a Doberman, German Shepherd/Belgian Shepherd/Dutch Shepherd, Pitty, Staffy, Rottweiler, Boxer, Bulldog, etc. type of guy. I love working dogs and I'm especially partial to the breeds that get a bad rap. I couldn't ever see myself with a Golden Retriever or a Labrador, even though they're nice dogs too.
I know I'm rambling lol but I could talk about dogs forever!

It is fantastic and really pleasing to learn that your organisation is a non kill one. Do you do much fundraising to help with all the expenses? When I lived in Egypt I used to help out at an animal sanctuary that had dogss as well as camels and donkeys and we used to hold fundraising events like jumble sales and once a week I would hold a stall selling second hand clothes and toys in any place like a school where I could rent a table. We managed to raise quite a lot of money.

Yeah, Carl just wants to play but he is so strong. His little sausage body is all stumpy and his muscles are rock hard. He's a fit little lad and as happy as Larry. The problem is when I am out walking with him and Loopy, he charges off and lines himself up with Loopy and then charges right back at her with full speed and bangs himself into her with full force. Even she is a boxer she runs behind me for protection. He's done it with me too although I think I've let him know as pack leader I don't take too kindly to having a dog about a foot high, and 20 kilo of solid muscle charging the back of my calves and rendering me helpless on the wet sand!. Still I am glad there was no fights. Although Carly has a go at dogs in the vets, I think he accepts Bailey as family because he will stay a few days. Bailey tells him when he gets too much and there is enough adults around to deal with it. My step daddy is really good at handling them. I put their collars on when we have visitors so they are easy to grab hold of in case of anything happening.

I was teasing my Mum and telling her I was going to get a teacup puppy but she told me they would have to put Bailey in kennels when they come because three dogs would be too much for Bailey. So another dog is out of the question for me at the moment.

I think the bulldog breeds, all those breeds that have a bit of bulldog in their make up are the best. They are really people loving breeds which not everyone realises.

 

[_Lukas]

It is fantastic and really pleasing to learn that your organisation is a non kill one. Do you do much fundraising to help with all the expenses? When I lived in Egypt I used to help out at an animal sanctuary that had dogss as well as camels and donkeys and we used to hold fundraising events like jumble sales and once a week I would hold a stall selling second hand clothes and toys in any place like a school where I could rent a table. We managed to raise quite a lot of money.

Yeah, Carl just wants to play but he is so strong. His little sausage body is all stumpy and his muscles are rock hard. He's a fit little lad and as happy as Larry. The problem is when I am out walking with him and Loopy, he charges off and lines himself up with Loopy and then charges right back at her with full speed and bangs himself into her with full force. Even she is a boxer she runs behind me for protection. He's done it with me too although I think I've let him know as pack leader I don't take too kindly to having a dog about a foot high, and 20 kilo of solid muscle charging the back of my calves and rendering me helpless on the wet sand!. Still I am glad there was no fights. Although Carly has a go at dogs in the vets, I think he accepts Bailey as family because he will stay a few days. Bailey tells him when he gets too much and there is enough adults around to deal with it. My step daddy is really good at handling them. I put their collars on when we have visitors so they are easy to grab hold of in case of anything happening.

I was teasing my Mum and telling her I was going to get a teacup puppy but she told me they would have to put Bailey in kennels when they come because three dogs would be too much for Bailey. So another dog is out of the question for me at the moment.

I think the bulldog breeds, all those breeds that have a bit of bulldog in their make up are the best. They are really people loving breeds which not everyone realises.

I would never work for an organization that wasn't no-kill. We rescue as many dogs from kill shelters as we can and put most of them in foster homes so they don't have to be in a shelter at all. That's how Dave and I ended up with most of our current dogs.
We do get some really dangerous and aggressive dogs at my work but we never euthanize them. We have special trainers who know how to work with those types of dogs, and they usually turn into completely different dogs after a few months of training. I'm part of that branch of trainers and I deal with a lot of difficult dogs but it's always worth it to see them blossom into the wonderful dogs they were always meant to be.

We do a lot of fundraising! Good timing that you should ask that lol because I just got appointed to the advisory board and I'm going to have to do a lot of fundraising stuff. We have a lot of charity events where people can donate money and also get to meet the dogs and adopt them.
Working at that animal sanctuary in Egypt sounds so cool! I'm glad you guys were able to raise a lot of money to help the animals.

There's this thing called a Thunder Leash that might be helpful for you with Carl. They're very good for strong dogs, and Dave and I use them on our Pitties.
The leash wraps around the dog like a harness and encourages them to stop pulling, and it gives you better control of the dog in general. It's very safe and it does a good job of teaching the dogs to heel and not pull and does wonders for control issues. I think you can get them online for about $30-$40 and they come in a few different colors.

I'm sorry you can't get a third dog Teacup puppies are very cute but as far as owning one goes, they're not my "cup of tea," pardon the pun I'm sure Dave would be head over heels for a small fluffy dog though. I don't dislike small dogs at all but the dogs I like to have around are the big sturdy ones who are protective and athletic. Maybe one day I'll surprise Dave with a Pomeranian puppy or a little Maltese though. Lol I can just see him carrying the little dog around in his purse!
Hopefully someday you can get your teacup puppy, and hopefully Carl starts playing nicer with Loopy and Bailey!

I love all dogs, but I'm especially partial to anything that has Bulldog or Pitty in it. You're absolutely right, they're people-loving dogs! I wish people would come to their senses and realize that.

 

[janemariesayed]

I would never work for an organization that wasn't no-kill. We rescue as many dogs from kill shelters as we can and put most of them in foster homes so they don't have to be in a shelter at all. That's how Dave and I ended up with most of our current dogs.
We do get som
I love all dogs, but I'm especially partial to anything that has Bulldog or Pitty in it. You're absolutely right, they're people-loving dogs! I wish people would come to their senses and realize that.

The fact that you would never work for a kill organisation gets a triple thumbs up from me! If I was rich enough I would have dog kennels that would be a sanctuary too. Of course, I would have to have volunteers to help out but I wouldn't be surprised if you and Dave had your own one day too. Then Dave could have his fluffy cutie! lol

That is why I like to watch Ceasar Millan, he gives loads of tips for the likes of myself who need that kind of guidance. A trained dog is a happy dog so they say and I believe it is a true statement.

I really miss the fundraising and sanctuary work since I've returned to the UK as I'm not allowed to do it for the time being. Sadly, I can't be checked out for the time I lived abroad and so the authorities have to suspect I am guilty without any proof. I cried a lot when I learned that, but now I feel bitter and angry about it. It shows that if my police can't verify I'm not a criminal, then they can't check out the migrants coming in either. There are dozens of different types of paid jobs that I could do but cannot because I can't pass a criminal record check because I was out of the country. Despite handing over all my documents since birth and all my addresses etc. So now, I say blow them and if they don't want my help now because of judging me wrong, then they will never get my help ever again. Only, I would do it myself if I had the funds and open up my own sanctuary. I don't need a checkup to do it for myself I just don't have the money right now.

The harness looks good, (I just took a quick look! lol!) I will try them.

I don't mind so much not getting a third dog for the time being. Bailey would have to go into kennels and I don't want that. There are so many breeds I want to get. Like an old English bulldog! A French bulldog and a toy poodle! as well as a chihuahua! I'll just have to wait!

Carly got a smacked botty this morning! Loopy sat on the couch and he came and sat on top of her, she moved so he followed her and jumped on her hurting her, then she moved back on the couch and lo and behold, Carl decides to jump on her again, so he got told off. Then the two of them sat either side of me as quiet little mice while I drank my morning coffee and watched the breakfast news. Now its all forgotten and Carl is happy as Larry again!