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Panicking for a year. Solutions?

lcd960

New Member
Joined
Apr 12, 2019
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#1
Hi everyone,

To give my background, I'm 22 and a relatively severe hypochondriac, also been diagnosed with OCD. It's very difficult for me to separate reality and what my mind decides to be a catastrophic condition or ailment. My current story starts a year ago, and it may be TMI but I think it's important to lay it out.

Essentially, I bent my dick during sex last April. It made a noise and hurt but I was fine, until 2 weeks later when I thought I noticed an indent and some pain when I touched it. I researched online and found a condition called peyroines which is when scar tissue can form there and cause deformation or a bend. It can take 12-18 months for this process to stop and it could get worse. It's not curable.

I went to a GP and he dismissed me. Most people in the specialty forum I joined have dismissed me. I have no other symptoms, but it has affected my confidence in bed and sex has been a process of checking to see if it's okay or functioning properly which obviously takes away from it. It has almost always been on my mind 24/7 for a year. It affects my mood and my confidence, and I have thought about it from every angle even though I can't prove I even have it. I find myself thinking this time I actually have a reason to be worried, this time it's really a problem.

Ever since then I have been perpetually afraid that it will get worse or has even affected me in the first place. That it will affect my relationships and nobody will want to be with me if I have it. Ironically, my mentality on this has been affecting my relationships more than anything. Not that I ever tell anyone about it. At this point I don't know what to do. I need to stop thinking about it because it is ruining my life at this point. I have gone through periods of severe depression and severe anxiety. I add things up which I assume are symptoms based on other people's experiences in forums and what the disease sounds like to me. Every time I find a new one I get depessed. Basically I feel completely insane that this has been on my mind, and I mean completely on my mind for an entire year now and I have absolutely no control of it. It's like it's constantly there and whenever I get into a good mood I remember it and become instantly depressed and anxious and begin checking again. I can't make it stop and I can't handle it anymore. I'm so afraid I have this and that my dick has been deformed (even though visually nothing has changed..I think).

I just need help or advice on extremely obsessive thoughts. At this point I'm mostly scared that I've been stuck in it for an entire year. I feel like I'm in a time warp and have missed a whole year of my life. Please help.
 
Last edited:

triceps

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 7, 2018
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#2
Hi and welcome. If you're not going to treat it with that new medication that's so heavily advertised, the only other option is to work on completely accepting it. Much like amputee's have to come to grips with their loss. Obviously I'm not suggesting amputation.
 

lcd960

New Member
Joined
Apr 12, 2019
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#3
I think you might have misunderstood me.. there isn't actually a perceivable problem as far as I know. I've convinced myself that there is.
 

triceps

Well-Known Member
Joined
Aug 7, 2018
Messages
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#4
I'm sorry. The good thing is that you're aware that it's the obsessive thinking that's the real problem. Are you taking a look at some therapy, perhaps one that specializes in CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy)?
 
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