Panic

[shelby368]

I’ve had multiple panic attacks in my lifetime. I get them daily like 3 to even like 8 times a day but they’re very short. I never have them at home and nothing usually triggers them I just get all jittery inside. Yesterday I was at home with my family and I could feel one coming on. I told my grandma and we went outside to get some fresh air. She was telling me to just take a deep breath and that everything was going to be okay. I was not calming down. All I could focus on was the tingling sensation and not the kind where you feel like your foot is asleep it feels like somethings wrong. Which is another common side effect I get but this time it was throughout my whole upper body including my head. I couldn’t stop thinking about how I wasn’t breathing right and how fast and abnormal my heart was beating. I began to calm down for about 5 minutes. My dad came outside and he could tell something was wrong. All of a sudden I hit rock bottom. I felt like I was gasping for air even though I was not showing it, the numbness and tingling made me feel so weak inside. I eventually had to get up and go back inside and all of a sudden my eyes started getting blurry and it really was a scary moment but it was because I have just cried and my contacts were all stuffy. I always think about the worst thing that could happen to me and that’s one of my biggest fears if something is going to go terribly wrong. I told my family to call 911 because of how blurry my eyes were and I could tell they were a little worried so they had me lay down onto a bed and just rest. They took my blood pressure and my pulse which both were very high. They were both laying down right next to me holding my hand watching me go through this panic that just kept coming in waves. I have never told my family to call 911 because 1. It just gives me more anxiety 2. I would be embarrassed. I have always been nervous about taking a xanax but they gave me 1/2 of one just to get me to relax. This was about an hour into it now. Than it just kept coming in waves. I knew I was having a panic attack because I knew what they felt like but it got to the point like is there actually something wrong with me? I legitimately thought something was wrong. I than got comfortable in my bed and tried to watch something to get my mind distracted and eventually went to bed. Now it’s the next day and I think my body is a little drained and still in a little shock. Going to doctor soon to get some more options because I can’t keep living like this. I do not have depression or suicidal thoughts it’s just this unknown mystery panic disorder I have and I just want to know how many people actually live like this? It’s definitley one of the worst feelings and I know millions of people in this world struggle with it as well. It feels nice to type this out and get it all out for people who actually came here to read other peoples struggles.