Panic Attack From Extreme Stress. Can't Sleep.

[chickentender]

For 3 days I have been visiting my family. There was a recent unexpected, traumatic death in my family. I live with my partner and when I'm home, I'm able to sleep and handle things pretty well.

Right now though, I am in the house I grew up in, which harbors many painful memories from a difficult childhood, also, the family member who passed recently lived here for a while with us.

I have been trying to support my family through their hard time as they found the family member deceased and are struggling, but in this moment, right now, lying here on a cold air mattress in a big, empty, dark open room all alone, I cannot sleep. I slept only a few hours last night and the night before. I go home tomorrow. I won't sleep much again tonight it seems as my family wakes up very early and they have a super loud automatic pet feeder that goes off every few hours.

I feel sadness all around me right now and it's keeping me up, memories and unwanted thoughts of the recent event are popping up in my mind. Lack of sleep has my anxiety very, very high and I now also have a migraine. Every little creak of the house is terrifying me. It's 2AM and there is no one I can speak to right now obviously. Maybe posting here will make me feel less terrified and alone. I don't know.

 

[Cuchculan]

It is amazing when a place can do that to us. All the sad memories of over the years. I hope you will be fine once you get back home to your own house. That you don't carry any of the bad memories with you. Is very easy to connect certain things to certain places. Much like we might even connect a certain song to a certain person. Life can be full of these connections. Though not all are bad. Aome we can simply remember the person with a smile. The better memories about that person. Hope all will be fine for you.