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Pain and anxiety...

Hurt&Hopeful

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#21
I passed on my knee surgery years back, and i wish now i had elected to have it, so u got one on me! Im glad u seem to be able to understand your anxiety and how it affects your knee rehab. I can only imagine how giving a brain command to a leg, and it not responding must have felt like. I can see how it must have freaked u out! You seem to have handled it as good or better than most :)

Continue the good fight, cause we both know it will be worth it! GREAT job :)
Thanks - doing my best. Certainly not my first rodeo with the anxiety, I had "passed" on the knee surgery for a long time (about 15 years) - the ACL was completely severed and meniscus damaged about 15 years ago. This last injury left me with no choice - either I had the surgery, or I wouldn't walk. So....ha. I'm already glad I did it, though. Even with pain and swelling and a brace on, I can tell that my knee is more solid than it was before, and will be stronger eventually than it's been in a long time. Might keep me from having to have a full replacement someday.

Just got to keep getting through this phase.
 

triceps

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#22
Hi Hurt. Sure glad you're seeing some light at the end of the tunnel. Am keeping my fingers crossed that the tunnel is shorter than expected. Hope you're able to get more sleep.
 

Hurt&Hopeful

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#23
The hard part of this is definitely the lack of sleep. I can't lay in any remotely comfortable position at night, and so the insomnia takes over. Weird thoughts come after midnight....lol
 

Hurt&Hopeful

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#24
I am in the waiting room to start physical therapy, and feeling really anxious. I haven't slept in days. Just have to get through this next step - I feel like I'm sort of reaching my limit.
 

triceps

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#25
I am in the waiting room to start physical therapy, and feeling really anxious. I haven't slept in days. Just have to get through this next step - I feel like I'm sort of reaching my limit.
I'm assuming you made it through it. Feeling any anxiety relief along with the physical pain?
 
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#27
Im in the middle of a very limited sleep pattern over the last few days too H&H. I go days with a couple hrs of sleep, and eventually, one night i will sleep for enough hrs to feel better. I think its just from exhaustion, but i dont really want to take sleep meds that my dr wants to perscribe me. Maybe the physical therapy they put u thru will induce some sleep for u. If you're like me...you'll take any help u can get!
 

Hurt&Hopeful

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#28
Thanks, everyone. I survived, and the anxiety went down as I went through the PT session. Yes, I'm really sore, but it wasn't too bad. It felt like productive torture. lol I AM a little discouraged by how long it appears it will be before I'm able to walk or drive. They have suggested at least 6 weeks of pretty intense therapy, so I have to cancel a couple of trips planned for March, including our family spring break trip. BUT - that's small stuff, right? We'll have to get creative and find something else fun to do.

@guitarman65 I'm sorry you're stuck in that, too. I also don't like sleep meds because they make me feel so groggy the next day. And yeah, I find that the best way to get a deep sleep is to overwork during the day. I definitely did that, so I think I might actually sleep today. hahahaha The problem with this approach, of course, is the burnout that comes later. I don't recommend it, in other words. I sure hope you get some sleep today.
 

Rosy

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#29
So glad the pt went well. 6 weeks sounds about right. I think that's how long I went for my knee. At least you will be walking soon. Glad to hear you are okay.
 

Hurt&Hopeful

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#30
Full panic mode tonight. I am so so tired. My job is really stressful, and I'm trying to do it from a bed/couch with ice packs...and today, I lost my balance in the bathroom and "lurched" forward and did something - still not sure what - that left my knee swollen and turning blackish on top. I'm in pain, and I'm just terrified that because I started physical therapy so late and am still struggling so much, I won't get my leg back fully. I can't bend it, and I'm discouraged and anxious. I'm trying really hard to get through this and keep it in perspective, but sitting on my butt in pain for a month is really getting to me. I can't do anything healthy to fight the fear...Tonight, it's just all catching up and I can't quit crying. I don't want to start a downhill spiral here...
 

Rosy

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#31
So sorry to hear that. When do you go back to PT? I would call them tomorrow and see if they will see you to check it out. I.m sure they can tell you what to do. I don't think using ice would hurt. At least it might help get that swelling down.
 

Rosy

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#32
Sorry I hit something and this happened. it might hold you back a few days but This will heal again soon. You couldn't have done that much damage. Rest it tonight and I hope you get some rest. Let us know what they say. A good cry just might help the panic. It does me sometimes..
 

Hurt&Hopeful

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#33
Sorry I hit something and this happened. it might hold you back a few days but This will heal again soon. You couldn't have done that much damage. Rest it tonight and I hope you get some rest. Let us know what they say. A good cry just might help the panic. It does me sometimes..
Thank you, Rosy. Yes, I have cried plenty and have some lavendar oil diffusing. I'm calming my body down - feels like I had a heart attack (I know I didn't). I go to PT tomorrow and I will talk to her. I don't think I damaged anything - just irritated something that caused more swelling/internal bleeding. I'm exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally. Husband has what seems to be flu. Child was diagnosed with ADHD last week. Lol
Just overwhelmed.

Tomorrow I should set aside some time for breathing exercises..
 

Rosy

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#34
You have a lot going on. I know what that is like. I sure hope your husband gets better soon. We are all sick here too. Not me . I'm over it but the rest of the family. lol One of my friend's grandchild has ADHD. They put him on some meds but I don't know which one. I hope your son is okay.
 

Hurt&Hopeful

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#35
You have a lot going on. I know what that is like. I sure hope your husband gets better soon. We are all sick here too. Not me . I'm over it but the rest of the family. lol One of my friend's grandchild has ADHD. They put him on some meds but I don't know which one. I hope your son is okay.
Oh no! So sorry you're sick. I'm going to send my husband back to the doctor tomorrow - just praying I don't get it.

My son will be fine. We just need to learn how to cope better - it's a new diagnosis, so we are trying to arrange therapists, appointments, etc. We have a lot of unnecessary stress in the house because we don't know how to help him or deal with him sometimes. But he is the best kid...we are blessed.
 

Hurt&Hopeful

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#36
Apparently, the little snap I felt when I slipped was most likely scar tissue breaking loose, which is a GOOD thing. It is just painful. She told me today that I need to get my knee bent to 90 degrees within a week at most. I have some stubborn scar tissue buildup that is keeping it from bending. so today she started forcing it hard. It's going to be a hard week, but I'll do anything to avoid more surgery. I will have to work it twice day to break all this up. Just feeling really overwhelmed, but I'll make it.
 

triceps

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#37
Sounds like TLC might have to replenish that bacteria. Gosh, that's good news about about your knee. It's also great that you're able to get your fears (the mental scarring broken) addressed so quickly because of your regular P.T. sessions. It's also good that your child has been diagnosed so your interactions can be more targeted to their needs instead of just reacting to behaviors. You've got alot on your plate there Hurt (no reflection on the cleanliness of your house) and it sounds like you're able to keep things in perspective for the moment. All you can do is to tackle one crisis at a time, and the best you feel that you can, and try not to get overwhelmed. You know you've got so much support here.
 

Hurt&Hopeful

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#38
Sounds like TLC might have to replenish that bacteria. Gosh, that's good news about about your knee. It's also great that you're able to get your fears (the mental scarring broken) addressed so quickly because of your regular P.T. sessions. It's also good that your child has been diagnosed so your interactions can be more targeted to their needs instead of just reacting to behaviors. You've got alot on your plate there Hurt (no reflection on the cleanliness of your house) and it sounds like you're able to keep things in perspective for the moment. All you can do is to tackle one crisis at a time, and the best you feel that you can, and try not to get overwhelmed. You know you've got so much support here.
Thanks, friend. Yeah, I THINK it's good news? Wednesday I could bend 40 degrees. Today the PT about broke me and pushed me to 70. It's a good thing she's cute and sweet, or I might have punched her in the face. She's just too adorable to hate... I am supposed to be at 90 by next week. So this is gonna hurt, and the scar tissue is just really stubborn, but I will do anything to avoid more surgery and hospital visits! lol My deep fear and hatred of hospitals is a great motivator.

I am so thankful for the support I've had here. I have good support at home too, but you guys have gotten me through the fear and panic attacks in a way that only those who understand can.
 

Rosy

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#39
I am so glad that you didn't do any damage to your knee. I didn't think you did but it is good to know for sure. You have everything under control with your son too and that is great. You have a lot going on and you are handling it . I'm rooting for you. Hang in there. Your knee will be so much better after PT. You can do this.
 

Hurt&Hopeful

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#40
I am so glad that you didn't do any damage to your knee. I didn't think you did but it is good to know for sure. You have everything under control with your son too and that is great. You have a lot going on and you are handling it . I'm rooting for you. Hang in there. Your knee will be so much better after PT. You can do this.
Thanks! I started stretches using a stationary bike last night, and slipped and snapped the knee AGAIN, waaaay past 90 degrees. Swelled up huge, but I'm pretty sure it was just internal scarring breaking loose again. That's one way to do it, right? :eek::p I got back on this morning and kept going. It's going to be several times a day between exercises and icing, so if I disappear, I'm just busy. Lol And exhausted. This is the last bad phase, I hope, over the next 2-3 weeks. My anxiety is high but managed, I think. I'm not coming apart (yet). I have a feeling that will come later. Lol
 
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