Overthinking every little thing?

[Ashley0323]

I tend to overthink every little thing that goes on in life. I like to have things all planned out in a potential "disaster". When I talk to these things to others, they think im crazy, like I will think on one subject for HOURS until I have it figured out. Example : My 4 and 5 yr old going to stay two nights away on vacation (same state, 5 hour drive) I was panicing, thinking of every little thing was going to happen. I was thinking of ways to tell my mother no, which would have upset the kids, because I was selfish and wanted the safe at home (with me). Not that I don't trust my mother, but I dont trust everyone else.

 

[Sue]

I am the same way. I overthink everything and I always have the worse case scenerio played out in my head. I have to always have myself prepared in case anything happens. I play this over and over again in my head until I work myself into an attack. I worry about things that I shouldn't even be worrying about. I try to reason with myself but it doesn't work. I have been this way for as long as I can remember. Things can be perfectly fine but I can ruin all of that by overthinking them until it ruins my day. I do get it, especially when you have children and they are away from home.

 

[Alex]

I can relate because I want and expect things to go perfectly, but in reality it doesn't. You want to protect the children as much as you can, but you can't protect them forever. You have to learn to trust because they will be at school and you can't watch them 24/7 , but can teach them the life skills to take care of themselves.


The crossing point for me was when things did go wrong, and there was nothing I could do to prevent it and you learn to cope and deal with it. It's never easy, but you do worry less and now that if the worst happens you will and can cope. It doesn't stop me overthinking, but then I realize there is only so much I can do anyhow, and at times Fate will do whatever it chooses.

 

[taco]

I don't know if this will help you, but a very wise person once told me there are two types of problems, problems that are within your control, and problems that are outside your control. Problems that are within our control we can worry about and make positive efforts to solve that problem. Problems that are outside of our control you just have to let them go in your head. Of course this advice is easier said than done, for the longest time I would worry about silly things, always coming up with the worst scenerio in my head. If I watched a documentary on asteroids I would worry about one landing on me for months, and I finally came to realize that she was totally right and worrying about these problems that are completely out of my control was just wasting my time and causing me unnecessary anxiety.

 

[Amber B.]

I'm the same way. I look into everything way too much and I always think of the worst possible outcome. I never used to be this way, but life changes have made me quite the pessimist almost.

 

[Panic57]

Overthinking is my mental default when it comes dealing with life in general. I'm usually buried underneath a million negative outcomes before I can render one positive thought. It's stressful to consider all the possibilities of how it can go wrong. I have to deliberately remember that there are just as many positive possibilities. Changing your mind so it's more positive is always difficult but so is stressing out about all the negative possibilities. If you can't shake the negative thoughts, allow them to be and then take it a step further and consider how you will dal with that situation when it comes. That will help you feel like you aren't just a victim of life but prepared to handle whatever comes.

 

[whysewserious]

When I slip into that mode, I have to deliberately overthink about the GOOD things that might happen, too. Isn't it interesting how we default to the worst case scenario? Eventually the good starts thought to overtake the stressful ones. Ultimately, like another user has stated, there is so much in our life that is out of our control. We can either live it and enjoy it, or keep away from a full life because of our fear. The more risks I take, small or large, the less fear I have.

 

[Zeesi]

I don't know if this will help you' date=' but a very wise person once told me there are two types of problems, problems that are within your control, and problems that are outside your control. Problems that are within our control we can worry about and make positive efforts to solve that problem. Problems that are outside of our control you just have to let them go in your head. Of course this advice is easier said than done, for the longest time I would worry about silly things, always coming up with the worst scenerio in my head. If I watched a documentary on asteroids I would worry about one landing on me for months, and I finally came to realize that she was totally right and worrying about these problems that are completely out of my control was just wasting my time and causing me unnecessary anxiety. [/quote']
You just made me laugh out loud... about the asteroids. Oh my gosh, that is priceless.


I used to do the exact same thing. I used to be afraid of Big Foot, like seriously. I thought it was only a matter of time before he came into our neighborhood and he would be unstoppable.


And years ago when I heard about African Killer Bees, I was terrified for weeks and was asking anybody and everybody about any information they had about when those bees where going to reach our city. It was terrible, and I was a wreck. Thankfully I have learned to relax a bit more about things.

 

[Zeesi]

When my son was young like your children are, I did not let him go anywhere with anyone, not even with his own dad or granddad. People gave me a hard time, I even got into arguments, got cussed out by people, got yelled at, because they wanted to take my son somewhere and I would not let them.


My dad wanted to take my son somewhere one evening, to get my son some shoes, he said. My son was about 9 years old. I told my dad, sorry, but no. I don't allow my son to go anyplace without me. My dad (military veteran) was very upset with me, but I had to say 'no' for my own peace-of-mind.


I've been called selfish, I've been told to "let-go", but I was undeterred by what I felt were people's attempts to control me and my behavior. I did what I felt was best, and had peace-of-mind.

 

[Ashley0323]

YES! Thank god im not alone in this. I can definitely relate Zeesi , I have been called selfish and I need to let go, all the time. ANYTHING can happen, and I am not willing to put my childrens life at sake. They are young, they dont "know", its my job to protect them.


Anyways, that was an example anyways. Thought I was the only one!

 

[hades_leae]

I over analyze every little thing I come in contact with. It's natural for me and I actually love that I do it because it makes me more aware of everything like the people around me, things in my home, small things that could turn into problems.


It makes me more attentive, and I think more people should do it instead of just making decisions so quickly.

 

[sidney]

I used to do that, but it seems like as I get older I don't really get that stressed out about most things. If they turn into the worst case scenario, so be it. I do think of scenarios where things can go wrong, but instead of fearing it, I prepare myself for it, so that if it does happen, then I will know how to fix it.

 

[djordjem87]

I believe that this is more an OCD thing with me than anxiety but I am not excluding the latter all together. I feel the need to do these things and it really relaxes me when I can do them. When I can't it is really hard not to get anxious and since I have been in some bad position in my life recently, surrounded by self absorbed idiots, my state has gone from bad to worse. It's not that I am not giving my best but idiotic people just arouse anger in my brain. The worst thing is those are some members of my family and sometimes I really hate them for their arrogance, stupidity and selfishness. I believe that they are so stupid that they do not even see what they do to me and to the family or they are just to stubborn, proud and vain. Anyhow, I have a lot to over think at the moment since, as I said, I am surrounded by cretins of no rational thought whatsoever.

 

[Zeesi]

YES! Thank god im not alone in this. I can definitely relate Zeesi , I have been called selfish and I need to let go, all the time. ANYTHING can happen, and I am not willing to put my childrens life at sake. They are young, they dont "know", its my job to protect them.
Anyways, that was an example anyways. Thought I was the only one!

No, you are definitely not the only one, lol. It's a rough, weird, and strange world out there, and no one is going to love and protect yours like you will.


I remember when my dad wanted to take my son to go get some shoes (as I mentioned in my previous post), and I told my dad 'no', my dad said to me that he would die before he let anything happen to my son. I appreciated that sentiment, and I felt like my dad really meant that, but the answer was still 'no'.


I read something years ago about falling into the trap of others wanting you to say 'no' to yourself, but 'yes' to them.


And school teachers over the years, they were giving me grief too. On the last day of school in my son's 4th grade year, one of the teachers at the school came up to me and said, "Will you do something for me? Next year, just let him go."


I was floored by this because a) I barely even knew this teacher, and, b) my son wasn't even in her class!! I was floored. The audacity of this woman!


I was at the school a lot during the day, at recess, during lunch, and it just so happened that over the course of the school year I had heard her yell and scream(!!) at her students on numerous occasions.


If I would have not been so shocked and taken aback at her last-day-of-school comment to me, I would have said, "Since we're doing things for one another, will you do something for me? Will you stop yelling at those children every other day? I'm sure most of the parents have no clue as to how you talk to their children."


Throughout the school-year, I used to think to myself, why don't the other teachers say something to her about that type of "yelling" behavior?


I was so glad that my son wasn't in her class because there would have been a PROB.LEM. And wouldn't you know it, on the last day of school, this yelling-screamer had the nerve to come up to me and try to control and dictate my behavior. Like, are you serious right now?? Sorry honey, but I'm not one of your kids.


Another year, in another school, my son wrote a poem about a bird, and one of the teachers took that opportunity to


tell me that the poem meant that my son wanted to be "free." Ummm, NO.

 

[Kelleyann409]

I am just the same. First I would like to see any it is really nice being on a forum with so many others that feel as I do. It's hard because my fall back is "it is just me". Even though my rational brain knows it is not just me. To answer the question, I defiantly overthink every little thing when in comes to my son. It is so hard not to overthink and jump to conclusions. He is 13 and a strong willed child to boot, so school has always been an issue. It plays right into my anxious wheelhouse. I just try to remain clam, meditate and excessive when it gets really bad. I wonder if I will ever conquer this?

 

[SirJoe]

I used to do that but I stopped doing it. I would think of every little thing and run it over and over in my mind. I do still like planning things ahead of time but I don't obsess over them anymore. I can't really tell you what happened but it just seemed to go away.

 

[misszerable]

I am so guilty of this, I know I'm being overprotective of my son, but I can't help it. I want to control anything I can control just to make sure he's safe. My parents were more relaxed when I was a child, but times were different then. My son's school is just 4 houses away from our house but I never allow him to go to school alone. I also fetch him come dismissal time. Though I trust my sister, I can't just allow her to fetch my son and take him to her house for a party. I'm scared that something might happen on the way or that some other kids will play roughly with him.

 

[kgord]

This is really not healthy for your son, and even if you let him do things, he will feel your anxiety. Maybe your son could find a friend to walk with. The odds of anything happening to him in that short of a radius are slim to none, unless you live in a high crime area. I would urge you to talk to other parents and find out how they handle these situations. They may share your concerns but be a bit more easy going when it comes to their own kids.

 

[kelden]

Being nitpicky about all the possible circumstances is just a waste of time, when you're the kind of person that overthink everythink is better to set yourself to become "overprepared". You know, instead of worrying about bad things happening, better worry about how you are suited to cope with those circumstances.

 

[Aree Wongwanlee]

Can we really overthink? I used to think that such a thing is not possible. I used to be a very careful person who weighs up every pros and cons, a few times, before I take any action. However, as I grow older, I find that to live, it is necessary to take some risks. So now, while I still weigh up the pros and cons beforehand, I don't do it a few times first. I just consider all the facts at hand and go ahead.