Outgrowing my therapist

[chickentender]

I live in a place where it's very hard to find a therapist and have been seeing the same one for about 5 years.

I've gotten a lot better with this therapist, but I feel like I've kind of come to the end of her helping me other than being able to lend an ear when I need to go talk to someone. But even then, I really feel that some of the things she says to me are outright wrong and hurtful. For example, recently, I went to her to talk about grieving the loss of a family member and she started questioning the validity of my grief. I used to be able to look past things like this, but I am recently not getting much that's helpful out of our sessions, and after the last one, it just feels wrong to me. I went in to talk about my grief and left feeling like an idiot who had no right to feel what I was feeling due to what she said to me.

The thing is, I am at a point right now where I don't need constant therapy, I just need a therapist to go to if I have a backslide or am trying to prevent one. Is there a such thing as a therapist you start out with with this type of arrangement after getting to know each other in initial visits or does every therapist expect that you will go to them frequently for months or whatever to begin with before tapering off?

 

[Cuchculan]

When you run out of things to talk about, without repeating yourself over and over, it is time to take a break from the therapist. Have been there myself before. Nothing new to talk about at all. Just saying the same stuff over and over again. We both agreed a break was needed. Maybe go once every 3 months. Just to see how things are going in your life. Then maybe twice a year if you feel things are getting better for you. But ask if you need her if things do get bad, can you make an appointment.

 

[stevet]

I live in a place where it's very hard to find a therapist and have been seeing the same one for about 5 years.

I've gotten a lot better with this therapist, but I feel like I've kind of come to the end of her helping me other than being able to lend an ear when I need to go talk to someone. But even then, I really feel that some of the things she says to me are outright wrong and hurtful. For example, recently, I went to her to talk about grieving the loss of a family member and she started questioning the validity of my grief. I used to be able to look past things like this, but I am recently not getting much that's helpful out of our sessions, and after the last one, it just feels wrong to me. I went in to talk about my grief and left feeling like an idiot who had no right to feel what I was feeling due to what she said to me.

The thing is, I am at a point right now where I don't need constant therapy, I just need a therapist to go to if I have a backslide or am trying to prevent one. Is there a such thing as a therapist you start out with with this type of arrangement after getting to know each other in initial visits or does every therapist expect that you will go to them frequently for months or whatever to begin with before tapering off?

I have a very similar experience after seeing the same therapist for approximately 5 years. I’m guessing you’ve gotten to the point where you should no longer see her. That’s not to say you won’t need or still seek therapy from another therapist at times. I believe they become too comfortable after seeing us for years and become less “concerned”. In hindsight, I’ve been in a very good place at times only to keep going visit after visit and then lose my peace. I feel it’s a therapist’s duty to release a patient when they see adequate progress. I think this is where you’re at. Move on! You can always schedule with her should you feel the need - or, another therapist. Sounds like progress to me...


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[MainerMikeBrown]

CT, I'm sorry that this therapist made you feel like an idiot. It sounds like this therapist is rather ignorant.

 

[chickentender]

Thank you all