One-on-One or Group?

[StillStanding]

I much prefer one-to-one interactions. I find large groups just too stressful, as you are trying to keep the attention of many people at once and people feel more comfortable being dismissive or even rude when they are part of large group interacting with just one person.

 

[essennyo]

I definitely think that speaking in a group is better. While there are more people, it feels like they can pick up the conversational slack. All you have to do is keep in the group. Keep your part of the conversation going by bouncing ideas and jokes off other people. In the one-on-one, there is no buffer or fail safe. The intimacy can lead to painfully awkward moments. If you don't know what to say, the conversation could die, whereas in a group you just have to keep quiet and someone can pick it up. You feel kind of exposed in a one-on-one.

 

[Sue]

I would definitely prefer the one on one. I don't like to be in a group and I would be too anxious to talk to a group of people. I would stutter and stumble over my words. It would cause me too much anxiety. I like to disappear in a crowd and the last thing I want to be is the center of attention. If I could just talk to somebody one on one I would feel so much better. If it was a stranger it would still be hard on me because I would be nervous and scared to say the wrong thing but I could probably do it if I really had to.

 

[Norjak71]

I have a hard time speaking one on one as well. It's the whole eye contact thing I'm vastly turned off by it. I have gotten better over time at it though. Public speech to me is terrifying though I'm constantly looking down while speaking and have gotten some bad grades in school because of it based on presentations which isn't really fair because my material was still solid.

 

[wayz12]

As a teacher and a former public speaker, I'm very comfortable giving lectures and presentations. In fact, I would say I thrive being in front of a group. However, once a presentation or lecture is over, I am terrified when it comes to mingling with the group. I'm very uncomfortable with small talk with strangers and have a hard time making eye-contact with them.


I find this phenomena strange, and I thought I was the only one. Most people I shared it with don't understand. They can't wrap their heads around the idea that I look comfortable doing public speaking, which they think is scarier, than when I have to talk to a student or a participant one on one.


After hearing some of the comments in this thread, I'm sort of relieved to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way, although majority still seems to find one-on-one easier.

 

[gracer]

wayz12 One of the things I really love about this forum is finding out that I'm not alone with my frustrations, fears, and concerns. Sometimes the people around us may not understand us but in these kinds of forums, we do find some sort of belonging and a feeling that we are not at all weird or other than normal. I also used to teach and I loved teaching. I loved talking in front of a lot of people but what most people don't know about me is that I'm really very uncomfortable when it comes to one-on-one conversations. I just feel like it's too confrontational and personal that I feel more vulnerable at making mistakes or revealing my weaknesses that way.