One-on-One or Group?

Alex · Jul 11, 2016

I used to only like one-to-one interactions and they are still preferable, but I am okay in groups as well as long as it is for a short period of time. I have worked in conferences and done workshops so I had no choice but to get used to it, and while I can cope it can still be uncomfortable.

I prefer to ask about the person and listen to them and then chip in whenever, but you have an instinct whether you will like them or not. If I get bad vibe I usually excuse myself to the rest room or something and then don't go back.

pwarbi · Jul 11, 2016

A few years ago I had to stand up in front of groups of people and give presentations, and back then it wasn't something I enjoyed doing but I just got on with it. after going through depression I have also become a lot more anxious about everything and there's no way that I could do that now. Sometimes now I even struggle to speak to people on a one to one basis on the bad days, so to think that I used to be able to stand up in front of tens of people seems like a lifetime ago.

One thing I try not to do though is compare myself now to what I used to be like because I think as soon as you start doing that, you start to dwell on the past and that doesn't help you with where you're at now and where you need to take your life in the future.

jaden11218 · Jul 11, 2016

If both situations are with strangers I would pick the group setting. There's too much pressure in a one-on-one setting. I struggle to keep the conversation going, and it would get awkward very quickly. In a group setting, I can usually blend into the background and it is less likely to get awkward because more people means more continuous conversation. If it were good friends I wouldn't care if it was just us or a group, but with strangers I would prefer a group.

kelden · Jul 11, 2016

I prefer group, since a one on one means this person is totally engaged by your interactions and will notice easily your screw ups (damn, who invented the job interviews really meant to mess with anxious people). A group talk I think is more relaxed in that regard, so I don't even try to be the center of attention, just avoid to say something that could leave me in an embarrasing stance.

Pandora · Jul 11, 2016

I prefer one-on-one type setting. To me a group of people is like public speaking which I failed that course in high school and college. I like the more time I get with the one-on-one setting too. With a group setting I feel like everyone wants to get into my personal business while a one-on-one setting I am the one with more control. Plus, I tend to shy away from group settings in general. To many eyes looking at me at the same time. For some odd reason, it just bugs me and makes my anxiety kick in.

ineedmystrength · Jul 11, 2016

I much prefer a one-on-one setting. I'm the type of person who evaluates (and maybe over-evaluates) another person's reactions to the way I'm interacting with them, and it's a lot harder for me to do that in a group. I also feel like I'm being judged when I'm in a group, and I hate feeling out of control. Also, one-on-one settings let me really get to know the person I'm talking to, and bond with them more if I already know them.

pwarbi · Jul 12, 2016

I sometimes compare my new self from my old self too and every time I do, I just get more disappointed with myself and the feeling of depression and low self-esteem sets in again. You're right, we should never compare because the past is totally different from the present and many things have changed that have contributed to our current selves right now.

I find that a lot of people do, and I have done that all too often in the past and maybe that's why I know how damaging it can be to our self esteem. Things happen in our life, and a lot of them we can't control so if we don't accept things for what they are or for what they have been, how are we supposed to draw a line and look towards our future? If you was once able to stand up in front of hundreds of people and deliver a presentation but you aren't able to now, then you have to accept it and look at the things you can now do, and concentrate on them instead. Try and look at the positives even if they are sometimes hard to find.

Robilas · Jul 12, 2016

I used to only like one-to-one interactions and they are still preferable' date=' but I am okay in groups as well as long as it is for a short period of time.[/quote']
Same goes for me. I really enjoy talking to my close friends one-to-one, and if I'm comfortable talking to them I can go on for hours and hours, even if the conversation is silly. But even when I'm in a group with the same friends I enjoy talking to, I still feel a little awkward and embarrassed - I hate being at the center of attention and if you are speaking in a large group you are always at the center of attention. On the other hand if I don't speak too much it's even worse because I almost feel "ignored" by my friends.

shcoo · Jul 12, 2016

To be totally honest, I have problems in both.

I think I prefer one-on-one hangouts because I feel like I am really bonding with the friend and "making memories." It is much easier to feel like I built some platonic emotional intimacy and strengthened a bond after a one-on-one interaction or activity. However, if and when awkward silences arise, it is so painful. There is no one else there to break the silence or keep the conversation rolling. I start to take it personally and feel like the person is judging me or not having a good time. It seems much easier to "fail" in a one-on-one setting.

In groups, it can be incredibly hard for me to speak up and contribute. I'm often steamrolled in conversation, even in a trio. But I do appreciate having more people to bounce ideas off of, and as I said above, groups lessen the strain of awkward silences tremendously.

redpanda · Jul 12, 2016

A small group works best for me in most cases. One-on-one stresses me out, even if I know the person well, because I feel like I have to do everything perfectly. I don't want them to notice my flaws and I'm worried that they'll begin to dislike me. I also get very anxious because I feel the need to keep them entertained and worry that they're getting bored. Large groups, on the other hand, completely overwhelm me and I have trouble getting involved. A small group, say three people, tends to work out.

fuzyon · Jul 12, 2016

Speaking in front of a group of people is definitely harder for me because I feel like there are so many people watching people me, but I have no issue talking to a smaller group of 3-4 people. It's obviously more comfortable for me to talk face to face with a single person because I feel like I can focus on the conversation better, plus I can tell if we're on the same wavelength or not.

amy88 · Jul 12, 2016

I get awkward and nervous in either situation usually - but I would prefer one on one any day of the week over a group setting. I feel like I get lost in groups - for people who are naturally introverts I think they can be really hard - and then my anxiety kicks into high gear. I never feel like I have anything to say, I can't find ways to start conversations -- then I get anxious that I can't find ways to start conversations - and it just all snowballs from there.

John Snort · Jul 13, 2016

I never worry too much about breaking the ice or lulls in conversation. When talking to others you aren't the only person who should be interested in keeping the conversation going. If the other person isn't trying then it's best that you also stop. That said I don't think I have any preferences though the fact is I've never liked groups. I'd rather talk to one person rather than face some group of people.

Alex · Jul 14, 2016

What I have learned is that awkward silences happen to everyone and it's okay. I have also learned to take more control and end something when I am out of my comfort zone, because it makes me feel better. There are always reasons and you can go and say you have to take a call, or go to the bathroom, or that you have someone you need to go to and don't want to be late.

Groups are always hard because people talk over each other too, but sometimes it's good to just listen.

justsayyes · Jul 15, 2016

I prefer small group setting more than one on one interaction. The latter seems really personal and i feel like i get intimidated with that kind of setting that i might just blurt out my entire life story and that's just not okay, I'm so private about my life, i really don't just share my personal business to just about anyone. In a group setting, i feel like i have more control of the situation, i can listen to people talk and then think through of what to say when it's my turn.

Laneorexorcist · Jul 15, 2016

This is a really interesting question... But I personally feel that I cannot deal with talking in front of a lot of people formally, but when I'm with friends telling a story I'm okay with it. But I understand you completely, awkward silences on a one to one conversation are really one of the worst things that can happen to me, but with that one depends too, it's not the same a moment of silence with your best friend than with a person that you just met, or at least for me is not.

joshposh · Jul 15, 2016

It was definitely in a group setting. Growing up I was the youngest in the family. So I was always sitting in the back and never spoke out because of my age. I normally did what I was told with didn't talk back. Fast forward and now I have to do oral reports in front of the entire class. It was nerve racking and it stayed with me for about 8 years. Well into college. It was something I could not get a grip of. It could also be that I was really shy at the time, as well as being the youngest in the family.

Now that I'm older I don't suffer from it as years of experience have taught me to deal with it.

One-on-One or Group?

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