Oh boy I think I am in Trouble

[XmasCarol52]

Last night while working on computer which by the way has been very slow some sites I cannot even get into or when i can I have to wait for fifteen to 20 minutes just for the page to load,all I ever see is wait.NOw here it comes because of it i had a relapse last night so the handy man came by wanted to know if I was okay,he better not go and tell that witch I was yelling .You would yell to if you had to deal with websites that dont work,so now i am thinking the noisy busy bodies around here are going to go and complain to the land lady i yelled,oh poor babies dont like my swearing well you know what to damn bad,As I keep telling them around here I cannot help it when I yell,but I am sure someone will say something,they need to learn how to mind there own business around here,If I sound angry I am.They say I need to control it.how the hell am I suppose to do that? Yelling is something I Cannot control believe me I have tried and it doesnt seem to be working,I have tried singing ,taking deep breathes but when it comes out it comes out.People do not need to know about my mental illness like I told him i get so frustrated with this computer ,guess what he told me he wont go on the computer because it would drive him craZy. So there you go and he doesnt even have anxieties.I absolutely hate it when I yell but it just comes out so quick .So naturally when he came by i knew he must have hear d me he claims now that heard me way down the other end,that is pretty good considering i had my window shut,tv on and my air conditioner running.He said he wouldnt say anything,but I aint holding my breath on that one,maybe if I got some sleep i would feel better I only got two hours sleep total in the last two nights.I better not be in trouble.I often wonder these old farts who complain what they got to hide.

 

[janemariesayed]

If the man said he wouldn't say anything then he obviously feels that there is no need to. So don't worry yourself too much over that. Instead, make yourself a cup of hot sweet tea, chamomile if you have it and relax.

It isn't anybody else's business what you do, say or think. So never mind those busy bodies. You are a lovely person Carol. They don't know you. They don't know why you get angry, or they don't understand it. Do your best to ignore them. They are the ignorant people because they have no compassion.

How did it go on Tuesday? Did you manage to relax a little. What was the new doctor like?

 

[XmasCarol52]

I saw my shrink she gave me buspar to relax me more i was shaking so bad by the time I got to her office.I was only in there for about ten minutes but I had to sit and relax before I could go out,the best part of the day is when I got to go to the marina for about ten minutes.Lois asked me if I wanted to go i immediately said yes.You should have seen all the ducks there,I bet your dog would have loved it there is plenty of room to walk around.It is not only a marina but a park.
If i get into trouble again i know i will have to explain myself the reason I am worried about the handy man is because he is part of the land ladies family. That whole family has big mouths and boy are they ever nosy too.He is nice though .hey when you window is shut the ac and tv on,how can they hear me yelling unless they stuck there heads outside if front of my apt.i know two people who never knew i was yeling until they got inside.I believe these are the same people who ratted one of the neighbors out because they let one of the cats inside,big deal.these people need to get a life.

 

[janemariesayed]

What a shame that you aren't allowed to have pets. A pet would be brilliant therapy for you. Yes, my pup Carly would probably chase those ducks. He chases the seagulls when we go to the beach as well.

It is normal that the family would help out with things like repairs if your landlady needed it. But it is really nice of them to give you the lift that you need. If you keep your conversation to light stuff then there is nothing to report about you back to them. Just don't talk about any deep stuff, that way you will keep your privacy. It sounds like you had a lovely time. I hope this means there is something nice for you to look forward to next time?

 

[XmasCarol52]

I had a great time at the marina.That is my second home>I do not tell anyone anything here where I live because it is none of there business,I dont question there illness's they do not need to question mine.

 

[XmasCarol52]

The land lady stopped by today guess what she did before she asked me a question she pointed to her head asking me if I still had problems with my upstairs,cause she had a couple of complaints due to my yelling,she told me the handiman came to check to see if i was alright,I knew he would say something but how rude is that pointing to your head asking someone if they had still had head problems,I am sorry but that to me is rude and it made me feel like she was making fun of me.She was actually nice about it.For a chance,but I told her I yell because of technology first it is the computer then the tv.She smiled I wish these so called complainers would get to me know me they dont live on my side,so they dont even know the real me.Some people just are so nosy they dont know when to keep there fat mouths shut either,i know they complained about others to because they let a cat inside no pets allowed,my nextdoor neighbor has a cat onl y because she had to get permission while i love cats I am incapable of taking care of them or any other pet for that matter,I can hardly walk ,that is okay though because i get to pet the cats outside they are such good hunters they captured a mole again and left it outside my neighbors back door,eekk, better dead then alive,if they ever left a snake I would yell,in any case I didn' t get into trouble at all to be honest i think my land lady is getting sick and tired of these two people complaining about ev erything.

 

[janemariesayed]

That was really rude of her to do that. Does she have an ailment? Perhaps you should be sarcastic to her and see how she likes it. It wasn't just rude, it was downright offensive and I don't blame you for feeling upset about it. Try not to think about it too much. Dwelling on it will only make your anxieties worse. You are a better person than any of them.

Sending you love and hugs.

 

[XmasCarol52]

The only ailment she has is her mouth she thinks I don't know what she is up to,she pretends that you are her friend,then goes and talks about you to other people.I know it was rude ..I just laughed when she did that I wouldn't give her the satisfaction knowing that she upset me.Dont worry I got over it by the time I went to bed,this woman makes me cringe when i see her and others to,i have heard that people around here are afraid of her and her aunt because they love to cause trouble,to be honest she has no business running this place,I think she only does it so she can stick her nose into peoples business.However I don't care if you have a physical or a mental illness you just do not go and make fun of someone like that.She thinks her sh-t doesn't stink..Iguess I am amusing to her being mentally ill.I am so sick and tired of people making fun of use and laughing just because we have a mental illness,how would they feel if we made fun of them?I would never do such a thing.Also thank you for the love and hugs,I certainly dont get any around here.Although my new friend and rider gave me a nice big hug the other day.I have a friend who doesn't like hugs,I do not get why some people do not like hugs, I mean to me that is the nicest way you can show someone just how much you care.Oh ya one more thing her is my love and a hugs for you to,hugs

 

[janemariesayed]

Yo, bless you, Carol. I love hugs too. I only get them from my dogs who come up to me often wanted attention. They really do help me through the day with the love that they give me.

Your landlady is not right in the head herself! Sorry for her but she sounds like a real busybody. Prying her nose into everyone else's business tells me that she doesn't have a life for herself. She must be terribly lonely and frustrated herself. At least you can take some solace in knowing that about her. She doesn't have what you have. She doesn't have the ability to be sweet. Her mind must be in chaos to have so many bad feelings inside of her that she is so rude to people. She doesn't have this forum either. So no outlet for her frustrations or support for her.

 

[XmasCarol52]

I am glad she doesnt have this forum she wouldn't have a clue as to how to behave.She is married and has three grown up kids but she forgets we here are not her children.She really doesnt need to check on me to see if my head is okay and I told her that before she doesn't need to come into my apt.GUess what her responds was I need to come inside no she doesn't. Since I mail my rent out.Her Aunt lives here to and she just happens to belong to the Senior Housing Committee how odd is that?