Offending people ruins disposition

[Corzhens]

Whenever I would offend someone, it would ruin my disposition. I could not be at ease until I make it up to the person. The first time I have noticed that in me was during my high school days when I borrowed a pen from a classmate and I accidentally dropped the pen that resulted in a crack (but it's still working though). I saw the face of my classmate who obviously was angry at me. And although I did not mean it, I admitted my fault. Until dismissal time, I was on pins and needles, not knowing what to do, how to apologize, how to make it up to my classmate. I couldn't sleep that night and my parents have noticed it but I did not reveal the problem. On the next day, I talked to my classmate and promised to buy a replacement of her nice pen. When she smiled, I heaved a sigh of relief.

 

[RadioSilence]

Would you say that the unease was a product of dwelling on how the other person took what you did?


That sort of happens to me too, sometimes I overthink what another person thought of an action of mine that they took offense to, or even ones that I only * think* they took offense to, without actually knowing if they were mad about it. I find that most people don't keep grudges as intensely or as long as I expect them to, and that they're actually very much willing to forgive whatever you've done. And that's if they haven't forgotten about it already, since at times, some people just may not want to hold on to that offense for longer than the moment, I think.


Of course it depends on the situation but, that's how I think about it. ^^

 

[Sue]

I am the same way. It really bothers me if I think that I may have offended or hurt somebody. A lot of times they will be over it but I will still be beating myslef up over it. The last thing I ever want to do is cause somebody pain by something that I said or did. I agree when you say that most people don't hold grudges near as long as we feel it ourselves. I have no problem apologizing to people. I probably even apologize when it isn't even my fault sometimes just to make things better between us. Some people can't admit when they have done wrong so I would rather make things better so we can move past it.

 

[kgord]

Well all I can say is you both most be much nicer than I am. I rarely worry about offending other people, however, I will worry excessively over a hurt or a slight someone gave me! Part of the reason I don't worry about hurting people is that my intention is never there to do it. except with one person who gets on my nerves, o a company who has wronged me. I think I am a pretty nice person most of the time, and if I am mean on occassion it is out of frustration not because I was trying to ruin somebodies day.

 

[Laneorexorcist]

I think that I am not really like this all the time, I think that it depends on the type of relationship that I have with the person in particular. But what really affects me is the fact that I may look like I'm not being respectful with someone that I don't know... Does that makes any sense? I think that I'm aware that by my appearance, people may think that I should be really weird and kind of rude, so I really really take care of that when I first now someone, I think.

 

[kelden]

I read somewhere that when you insult often and use f*ck words you are more prone to be honest. Myself doesn't go offending everyone but I'm quite enthusiast when it comes of coarse language, good thing my peers don't mind.

 

[Panic57]

I'm half and half when I offend people. Sometimes, I feel bad about an accident but it if wasn't completely my fault I don't stress it to much. The moments where it could be problematic is when I accidentally offend someone by talking about a sore subject. I will apologize but I will feel anxious regardless until enough time has passed. Though the thought of that mistake would come up from time to time in my thoughts, I have a hard time letting go my mistakes. Then there are times when I feel perfectly comfortable cussing someone out if I feel that the person deserves an earful. I don't even sweat that out, which is weird because I'm normally a timid person about people. But I've had a few moments where I need to defend myself against bullies and jerks. So it depends on the circumstances and the people.

 

[John Snort]

Some time back I used to be the sort of person who never wanted to offend anyone. Fact though is being a people-pleaser will merely cause you more misery. That's why when you offend someone when you didn't mean to or offend one of your friends when you won't do something for them, you shouldn't let the thought stress you up. Just let it go. Apologize and move on. If the person you offended wants to hold a grudge it's their problem, it's their burden to bear.

 

[sidney]

I'm not sure how to answer your question, because when I purposely offend someone, it's because we are arguing and they did something wrong to me, so in that sense, I'm glad to offend people. The more scathing, the better. But in cases where the offense was unintentional, then of course I will apologize and make it up to the person.

 

[janemariesayed]

That says that you are a good person @Corzhens because you have a conscience. If I broke something that belonged to some one else I would feel bad about it as well. I would have to say sorry and offer to replace the item. Yet I would feel bad about it until it had left my mind.