Not new, just giving this another try

[LostMyWay]

I haven't been here in a while, so thought I would try and make a new introduction thread. I struggle badly with depression and anxiety, especially social anxiety so meeting people and making friends is a problem. Admittedly I came back here after a long time away because I'm struggling now more than ever, and I'm not quite sure what to do anymore. A part of me would like to meet some people here, possibly make a friend, though I already know that the anxiety will make that hard. I don't find myself very interesting anyway, and only really play games and listen to music nowadays. I may update my profile to show some of my favorite bands and games, though I'm not sure since I feel people never check that anyway. I guess if anyone is actually interested they can ask. Either way, thank you for reading this.

 

[Jonathan123]

I haven't been here in a while, so thought I would try and make a new introduction thread. I struggle badly with depression and anxiety, especially social anxiety so meeting people and making friends is a problem. Admittedly I came back here after a long time away because I'm struggling now more than ever, and I'm not quite sure what to do anymore. A part of me would like to meet some people here, possibly make a friend, though I already know that the anxiety will make that hard. I don't find myself very interesting anyway, and only really play games and listen to music nowadays. I may update my profile to show some of my favorite bands and games, though I'm not sure since I feel people never check that anyway. I guess if anyone is actually interested they can ask. Either way, thank you for reading this.

You don't find yourself interesting! You may not but otters may. You are struggling! Now if you have read any of my posts you will know there are certain words that are anxiety provoking. 'Fight'. 'Struggle'. 'Battle'. 'Get rid of'. Any attempt to recover by doing any of those things is futile.
You are already in the fear/anxiety/fear cycle and to fight or struggle is self defeating.
It is also obvious that your self esteem is low. EVERY human no matter who they are, is worthy of respect and consideration. Whatever interests you may have are unique to you. They are your choice. As for making friends. When young I was very shy until I realized that almost every other youngster was as shy as me when I thought it was only me! Can I suggest calm acceptance. Get Dr. Weekes' book. 'Essential help for your Nerves'.
It is available on Amazon and is a compilation of all her other books with updates.
I believe the vast majority here do try and answer questions to the best of their ability. Some find it difficult to put replies together. They don't all have the Irish 'gift of the gab' like me. But that does not mean that what they say does not come from the heart. It is good you have come back. There is good advice on here and so many good people.

 

[Doveland]

Hi! I'm also sort of returning to anxiety forums (I was a member on a different one long ago when I originally suffered with anxiety. But that forum is a ghost town now). You made the first step in making new friends though - you've come back to a community! I'm a gamer as well - have been since I was 5. I've played basically everything. What kind of games do you like?

 

[LostMyWay]

Hi! I'm also sort of returning to anxiety forums (I was a member on a different one long ago when I originally suffered with anxiety. But that forum is a ghost town now). You made the first step in making new friends though - you've come back to a community! I'm a gamer as well - have been since I was 5. I've played basically everything. What kind of games do you like?

Thanks for the reply. I've been a gamer since I was really young too. My favorite game franchise is probably Zelda. I also really like the Metroid games, Sonic, Mario, various RPGs and driving games, and quite a lot of other things. How about you, what are some games you're into?

 

[Doveland]

Thanks for the reply. I've been a gamer since I was really young too. My favorite game franchise is probably Zelda. I also really like the Metroid games, Sonic, Mario, various RPGs and driving games, and quite a lot of other things. How about you, what are some games you're into?

That's awesome! I literally just finished Breath of the Wild a day ago - I began playing it every night and my anxiety was basically gone while playing it. Now I'm considering Skyward Sword as my friend suggested. Apart from those, I like RPG's with the occasional MMO (but I don't have that much time for MMO's anymore) as well as strategy/city builder type games that I can just sit back and relax with while watching a movie on the side or something.

 

[LostMyWay]

That's awesome! I literally just finished Breath of the Wild a day ago - I began playing it every night and my anxiety was basically gone while playing it. Now I'm considering Skyward Sword as my friend suggested. Apart from those, I like RPG's with the occasional MMO (but I don't have that much time for MMO's anymore) as well as strategy/city builder type games that I can just sit back and relax with while watching a movie on the side or something.

I'm the type that prefers the older style Zelda games, but I did really love Breath of the Wild. If you play Skyward Sword it's going to be quite different especially the combat. What are some of your favorite RPGs? To name a few I like Xenoblade Chronicles 1 and Chronicles X, Skies of Arcadia, several Final Fantasy games, Elder Scrolls and Fallout, and I could go on. I was never really into MMOs, though I did play World of Warcraft in the past and an even older one called EverQuest. One I used to really love which I guess could be considered an MMO is Phantasy Star Online.

 

[Doveland]

I'm the type that prefers the older style Zelda games, but I did really love Breath of the Wild. If you play Skyward Sword it's going to be quite different especially the combat. What are some of your favorite RPGs? To name a few I like Xenoblade Chronicles 1 and Chronicles X, Skies of Arcadia, several Final Fantasy games, Elder Scrolls and Fallout, and I could go on. I was never really into MMOs, though I did play World of Warcraft in the past and an even older one called EverQuest. One I used to really love which I guess could be considered an MMO is Phantasy Star Online.

On the side I'm working on a little nostalgic play of Link to the Past - I remember coming home from kindergarten and my dad would play it and I would watch him but now it's my turn haha. I've heard good things about xenoblade but haven't tried any. I've been playing Final fantasy 9 and 10 here and there but haven't finished either. I loooooove Fallout and elder scrolls. I have perhaps too many hours in Fallout 3 and 4 and for ES - Oblivion and Skyrim. I can't wait for Elder scrolls 6 whenever it eventually comes. I love RPG's because you can just get so absorbed into them. As for MMO's, WoW was my addiction through High School, my best friend and I tried it together and were hooked. Once he stopped playing after High school though, it just wasn't very fun playing alone so I kind of fizzled out, coming back every so often for nostalgia purposes. I also still listen to the soundtrack sometimes to chill lol XD

 

[LostMyWay]

On the side I'm working on a little nostalgic play of Link to the Past - I remember coming home from kindergarten and my dad would play it and I would watch him but now it's my turn haha. I've heard good things about xenoblade but haven't tried any. I've been playing Final fantasy 9 and 10 here and there but haven't finished either. I loooooove Fallout and elder scrolls. I have perhaps too many hours in Fallout 3 and 4 and for ES - Oblivion and Skyrim. I can't wait for Elder scrolls 6 whenever it eventually comes. I love RPG's because you can just get so absorbed into them. As for MMO's, WoW was my addiction through High School, my best friend and I tried it together and were hooked. Once he stopped playing after High school though, it just wasn't very fun playing alone so I kind of fizzled out, coming back every so often for nostalgia purposes. I also still listen to the soundtrack sometimes to chill lol XD

Link to the Past is a good one, I would say easily the best of the old school 2D Zelda games. There are 3 main entry Xenoblade games then a spinoff, and the spinoff (Chronicles X) is the only one not on the Switch so starting with the first game might be good if you ever wanted to try. FF9 I think is the best in that series, even though my personal favorite is 7. I used to hate 10, but now I love it. I think "too many hours" would be a good way for me to describe my time with the Fallout and ES games. They can get really addicting though eh? Yeah I love those RPGs where you really get pulled in, for me a good RPG beats just about any other kind of game. Your story with WoW is a little similar to mine. I had someone I played that EverQuest game with and we went over to WoW together, but once he quit I pretty much did too.

 

[Doveland]

Link to the Past is a good one, I would say easily the best of the old school 2D Zelda games. There are 3 main entry Xenoblade games then a spinoff, and the spinoff (Chronicles X) is the only one not on the Switch so starting with the first game might be good if you ever wanted to try. FF9 I think is the best in that series, even though my personal favorite is 7. I used to hate 10, but now I love it. I think "too many hours" would be a good way for me to describe my time with the Fallout and ES games. They can get really addicting though eh? Yeah I love those RPGs where you really get pulled in, for me a good RPG beats just about any other kind of game. Your story with WoW is a little similar to mine. I had someone I played that EverQuest game with and we went over to WoW together, but once he quit I pretty much did too.

I'll keep that in mind if I ever get around to playing the Xenoblade games - I remember when my brother first got FF9 on the original PS and I was watching him play and I kept saying "I want to play as the little scarecrow guy!" haha. In 10, I got frustrated at those sport mini-games they have you do with the ball but I eventually got the hang of it. Do you mod your Fallout or ES games at all? I think at one point I had over 60 mods on F4 and Skyrim both. Exceeeeept my survival mode save on F4 which I kept straight vanilla. But the modding communities are really awesome I think.

 

[LostMyWay]

@Doveland Oh you must mean Vivi in FF9. Yeah Vivi is awesome, certainly seems to be a fan favorite character. Do you mean Blitzball in 10, that weird underwater game? If so, that can be annoying at times even when you get the hang of it. Then again with the right team you can really destroy everyone, and the default team sucks anyway which makes it even more annoying at first. Usually I won't play any of those games without mods, especially things like the unofficial patches since they fix so many things. Those games seem to have some of the best modding communities out there, and there are almost always new ones being released which is pretty cool. I know I've seen quite a few mods that I probably wouldn't use, but I always have respect for those that create them.

 

[Doveland]

@LostMyWay Yeah Vivi! haha. And blitzball exactly! At first it frustrated me a ton. I liked the story though and the music. FF games seem to have really pleasant soundtracks. Same with elder scrolls and fallout. I really wish games would focus more on their soundtracks again - music has such an amazing ability to communicate the emotions of a scene or atmosphere. I think that's why when I'm anxious I tend to just listen to soundtracks of games I've liked in the past - they tend to transport me right to those moments and call back all those awesome feelings that came with it. Do you have any games whose soundtracks you've really really enjoyed or felt moved by?

 

[LostMyWay]

@Doveland Completely agree with what you said about music in games. To me music can sometimes have a bigger impact than something like the dialogue, or even what's going on in the scene. For example there's a certain scene in Final Fantasy 7 where someone dies, and if I mute the sound the scene just doesn't come close to having the same impact. There are a few games whose soundtracks I actually bought, and those are the ones that I enjoy the most. They are Final Fantasy 7, Xenoblade Chronicles 1, Chrono Cross, and Baten Kaitos: Eternal Wings and the Lost Ocean. What are some of your favorites?

Here's an example of one from Chrono Cross I really like, and since the vocals aren't English I'll include a translation. I'll also put it behind a spoiler tag so it doesn't take up a lot of space.

Spoiler

I hid that trembling light in my young hands
I've traveled this far, wandering the abyss of time
I continued to search for you, though I know not even your name
I wanted to hand over to you just one single feeling
Times catches deep in its arms both love and pain
And erases them, but I remember them
And always will...
It's reverberated deep in my breast for I know not how long...
Though it's a whisper fainter than a drop of evening dew
May the prayer I spun towards the darkness of the frozen stars
Reach all the way to your distant sky...

 

[Doveland]

@LostMyWay Dude That song! I just got chills because I heard that song many years ago - I'm not sure how I came across it back then, it might of been on an early youtube video or a friend might of shared it to me over MSN messenger (Back in the good old days of AIM and MSN - oh how I miss hearing the sounds of those IM's coming in) But that song gave my chills back then even. I'm very melody-focused in music, so if I hear something as beautiful as that guitar at the beginning of the song you sent, my ears will immediately perk up. Reading the lyrics now just adds to the beauty as well. My face though when I hit play on that song - it was like a wave of nostalgia

I'll have to look up the other game soundtracks on youtube. As for my own favorites...Hmm...Medal of Honor: Frontline I remember had a gorgeous orchestral arrangement, I like the original Sims soundtrack xD, Trine, WoW, Anno 1404 and 1800, ARK, The Long Dark, Dear Esther - those are just some haha (The last two) are more idk...melancholic and emotional for example The Long Dark is a game where you are a crashlanded bush pilot trying to survive in the frigid Canadian wilderness during the winter and the soundtrack captures the feelings and emotions of the atmosphere so well making great use of the kind of haunting harmonies a violin and a cello can create.

 

[LostMyWay]

@Doveland That's the song that plays during the end credits, and I've always thought it was such a beautiful song. The first Xenoblade had a pretty lovely song during its end credits too, written by the same person that did the Chrono Cross OST. Geez just reading the names of those old messenger services makes me feel old.

The original Sims game is one that really takes me back. It's a game the was included with my first computer, and I ended up playing a lot of it. I can't say I'm all that familiar with some of the other games you listed, at least I've never played most of them anyway. The Long Dark sounds like a pretty interesting game, I might actually look into that one.

When you mentioned the haunting harmonies of a violin and cello, this song came to mind because it has a spot in it with a cello that I find pretty powerful.

 

[Doveland]

@LostMyWay Oh wow, that is a powerful piece. One of the reasons I chose to be a Cellist in high school was it's ability to create such a beautiful warm sound (As well as the fact we always got to be sitting down with the instrument resting on us)

I definitely suggest giving The Long Dark a play through - it's an indie title and very well done. The story, game mechanics, art style, etc - all solid. I find it hits different playing it in the middle of winter too hahaha. Anyway - I think I'll message you privately on here, that way we don't keep popping up for the others who have commented. Even though we've shared some beautiful music xD - and sometimes just seeing others talk and get on brings hope and comfort to others.

 

[LostMyWay]

@Doveland Oh cool, I played the cello from 6th to 8th grade and If I didn't drop out of high school I probably would have kept playing. I even have a little medal my class won from like the 7th grade when we entered a competition.

Oh hey The Long Dark is on Game Pass, I might download that. I certainly don't mind chatting in private messages if you'd like, definitely don't want to keep bumping this thread haha.