Nightmares

[gracer]

I notice that there's one common theme whenever I experience nightmares. It all began when I ended a former relationship years ago. My relationship with that guy was somewhat stressful and traumatic because he was a controlling, manipulative boyfriend. I felt like he was the only one who was happy with the relationship while I on the other hand had been wanting to get out of it so many times. I just couldn't get out because he would always threaten me that he would commit suicide and he would target my conscience by always telling me that his life will never have any meaning without me so better to end it if he would just lose me. I finally found my way out when he had to leave to another country for work. I ended our relationship through video call and that's it.


Now I'm contented and happy with my husband and our child but I still experience the same nightmares about that person from my past. It would always be the same, him chasing me and me fearfully running away and hiding from him. These nightmares could still be related to my fears of ever encountering him again.


Do you also experience nightmares? Are they related to your actual experiences?

 

[pwarbi]

Many people are effected psychologically by things that have happened in their past, and they don't deal with a problem at that time and simply brush it under the carpet and try and forget about it but that usually comes back to haunt you in the future.


Most people will have nightmares and they'e often triggered by things that have happened in the past, but slowly and surely, the longer you are happy and content in your life now, the less they will tend to affect you in the future. If you are sure that you are experiencing these nightmares due to a previous relationship, then you could consider counselling and while a lot of people might not like to use them as there tends to be a stigma attached to it, they do help and it might just be the trigger you need to get over it.

 

[joshposh]

My nightmare were random. If I was having problems in life, my dreams were never of that situation and I saw no correlation either. I do have emotional times and I've seen a lot of bad things over the years. But for the most part my dreams and nightmares, are really random and off sometimes off the wall. Very rarely, do I see something that vaguely reminds me of real life situations.

 

[Jemina]

I also suffer from nightmares and often my nightmares are related to real life events. Some from years ago and some more from the present. Sometimes a scary TV show can be enough to give me nightmares for weeks while other times it's just the memories I have coming back to haunt me. I've noticed that my nightmares tend to be worse around the time of year when bad things happened, although they aren't always related to the bad thing that happened.


I lost a very close friend to suicide and almost lost a second friend the same way after he felt so guilt ridden over our friend's death - our friend's family blamed the both of us for not being there for him enough (which simply wasn't true considering we were always there for him, but people can be cruel sometimes and especially when they're grief stricken I suppose). Every year around the date when he died though I get nightmares. Sometimes they're related to finding him, or trying to find him and not being able to do so. Other times it's about other things entirely. I find that stress does play a huge part in whether I'll have nightmares or not too. The more stressed I am the more likely it is I'll have nightmares.

 

[Laneorexorcist]

Wow, I'm really sorry to hear about your bad experience, but I'm glad that you're in a better place now.


I haven't had any memorable nightmares in a really long time and I'm actually happy for that. But I do think that bad experiences in general have a big impact on that part. I was assaulted a couple of months ago and it was so shocking for me, I had nightmares for a couple of days and I can't walk pass that spot without feeling really anxious... and it's curious how mind works, right? in one nightmare I just ran away from them and I was trying to look for help, but nobody was there... I guess that at the end of the day I couldn't do too much about it.

 

[lexinonomous]

I experience nightmares, constantly. Nightmares are what caused my anxiety in the first place. My nightmares usually consist of me not being able to breath. It's the worst because I will wake up with a racing heart and feeling as if I can't get any air into my lungs. It's the worst feeling in the world. I used to sleep walk alongside the nightmares, but thankfully this is no longer the case. I find that if I avoid eating prior to getting into bed, this will usually simmer down the night terrors and I won't have as many issues. Every once in a while it'll creep up on me, though.

 

[mauricioq]

There was a time when i would have a lot of nightmares, like 4 every week, but nowadays it's way better. I don't even remember my last nightmare, and I'll guess that's because but I'm as stressed as I used to be.

 

[nytegeek]

I have dreams that could be called nightmares, but they rarely if ever scare me anymore. I can feel very sad or very depressed, or angry even after one, but not usually scared. Sometimes they are a PTSD trigger and I'll act on them not realizing I just had a dream and that it wasn't reality, but I don't wake up scared or screaming.

 

[gracer]

Thank you so much for sharing your stories guys. I now see that nightmares are really triggered by stressful life events that we mostly haven't gotten over with. In my case, I know I have gotten over that person but I guess what gives me the nightmares is my fear of his mere existence. I remember a friend of mine who also experienced the same thing as I did and hers was even worse because the guy would even sometimes lock her inside his apartment. She also has her own family now but she also shared how fearful she was of ever seeing that guy again. As bad as it may sound but she was only relieved when she heard that he was already gone due to suicide which could have also been caused by his alcoholism.

 

[janemariesayed]

I was having nightmares when I was a child. After I had left the children's home when I was 6 and went to live with my adopted family full time. I remember screeching out and crying with fear. It was all brushed under the carpet though and now nigh on a half century later, I'm getting PTSD and depression and the rest of it.

 

[Rinka]

The funny thing with traumas is that, even if you have in your conscious mind forgotten about it, your subconscious will never forget.
It will bring back the trauma until you have dealt with it. Almost like karma.
I used to or still sometimes do, have night terrors and dream half conscious that someone is coming into my room and it frightens me.
It has to do with abuse, that's what I know now. I have been abused as a small child and my childish mind suppressed the experiences.
I have worked with CPT and mindfulness to work on it. It helped so far, I'm not getting the terrors so often anymore as I did about a year ago. It's a long way though.

 

[janemariesayed]

Well done @Rinka for having the strength to work on it. For donkey's years, I knew what my problems were but didn't know how to get over them. Half of the symptoms were unknown to me but I don't think of them as my fault any more.

I was first abused when I was about 2 years old and it went on by different pedophiles until I was 21 and then I finally managed to put a stop to all of it. I am really hoping that the therapy I'm doing now will be a help. It may not clear the brain fog and other symptoms but it may help me to put a band aid on all my wounds.

 

[Rinka]

Yea therapy is a long long and painful walk. I do not believe at all that one can be cured, but you can learn to live with it and learn to accept yourself, which in return eases the trauma symptoms. As you said @janemariesayed a bandaid for your wounds.