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Discussion in 'Introductions' started by God'sPrincesse, Jan 12, 2018.

  1. God'sPrincesse

    God'sPrincesse Member

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    Hello everyone!

    My name is Princesse. I'm from NY. I am very new to the forum world and anxiety. Here is how it all started:

    I grew up as a happy kid, although I had some self-esteem issues. But overall I was very happy with myself. In October 2015, age 24 (Im turning 27 in 2 weeks) I come home from a hard day of work and happy as usual, I saw a little mouse run across my living room. And that's when my anxiety started.

    I couldn't sleep for weeks! I was just terrified for no reason. Its not like a little mouse could come and eat me alive! I went to my Dr. and my blood pressure was up and she prescribed me paxil. An amazing drug but made me gain 50 pounds in 6 months. So I stopped it.

    Fast forwarding to the end of 2016, found out i was being laid off due to outsourcing of my department and that sent me into a depression mode. February 2017 I was laid off and I didn't know what to do with my life. Im a person that's always on the go and has something to do. So this was new to me.

    I spent February 2017 till now looking for work and taking care of my mom who is dealing with her own health issues.

    My anxiety returned during the holidays and seems to be ongoing. My symptoms are the following: constant butterflies in my stomach feeling, racing heart rate, headache, chest pain, body pain, muscle tension. My Dr. recently prescribe me bupropion SR 150mg once a day to start. I took one yesterday. I was doing research and it says that it causes seizures. So I stopped it.

    I honestly want my life back! I want to stop dwelling on things and having this stupid anxiety and its symptoms! My logical self knows that Im okay and there's nothing to be afraid of. But the anxiety within me is saying to run!!! I just need the help and support. I feel like nobody understands me except for my therapist.

    Sorry for the long post by the way. Just had alot to say

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  2. Rinka
    Thinking

    Rinka Moderator Staff Member

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    Welcome @God'sPrincesse to our forum.
    I always think that starting to talk about ones issues is the first step to take control over ones life back.
    Meds are not for everyone, there are other methods that can help dealing with it. Have a look into cognitive behaviour therapy CBT and mindfulness. This helped me a lot.
    Please feel free to explore the forum and share.
     
  3. God'sPrincesse

    God'sPrincesse Member

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    Thank you so much Rinka! I will definitely look into CBT and mindfulness therapy. The meds were not good for me at all. The only time I have relief is when Im sleeping, when Im focused on something like helping my parents, or when I drink (not often though).

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  4. XmasCarol52

    XmasCarol52 Well-Known Member

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    Welcome to our family you will absolutely love it here
     
  5. God'sPrincesse

    God'sPrincesse Member

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    Thank you Carol! How do you handle your anxiety?

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  6. Concernedgal
    Depressed

    Concernedgal Well-Known Member

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    HI there. You won't find anybody here that doesn't know how u feel. You came to the right place... welcome.
    Concernedgal
     
  7. God'sPrincesse

    God'sPrincesse Member

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    Thank you! Sometimes I feel like Im going crazy because people around me just don't understand how Im feeling. Like at the moment Im just sitting here and I feel the flutters in my stomach. Almost like when your crush is talking to you and you get those butterflies! But why!? Why am I feeling this way all the time?! I just want my life and body back...

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  8. Concernedgal
    Depressed

    Concernedgal Well-Known Member

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    Mentally. .. I don't know but, biologically I do. As you know from going to therapy ... it is all due to the (fight or flight response ) . Think about back in the day when there were neanderthals...this was a useful thing to experience but, now a days.... not so much. That day when you seen that mouse run across your floor ...it sounds like you had a panic attack over it. And I have said this before and I will say it again....you can't unring that bell. Now your brain know's what a panic attack feels like and it's that knowledge of that is what is making you feel like this. You are looking to have a pa ic attack at every turn,every stomach ache ,every weird sensation, every feeling essentially that you experience. ..you will be afraid of what it might turn into. You have a fear of your next panic attack. My advice to you is to move on. .try to ignore the weird sensation's and tell your panic attacks what for...when you have a panic attack. ..try not to freak out,just calm down...count down from 10 take deep cleansing breath's and tell yourself (fine!want to have a panic attack right now..!go ahead.! ) I had a therapist tell me one time that if you give a panic attack attention... it will get worse and you will live in fear of them the rest of your life. Try to live as if this had never happened to you. Believe me sweetie....this will be one of the hardest things that you will ever have to do but,...you must! I'miss not saying that my life is back to normal. ..far from it but...I'm able to coast through my symptoms and move on.
     
  9. God'sPrincesse

    God'sPrincesse Member

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    Thank you! I understand everything you've said. I want to move on from this. And its not only the mouse that triggered it. Other things in my life triggered it too. But just like you said i have to move on! Easier said than done though. My logical self understands all this but the anxiety still wants to be in effect...

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  10. Concernedgal
    Depressed

    Concernedgal Well-Known Member

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    I understand also....your anxiety wants to win but....we can't let that happen.
     
  11. God'sPrincesse

    God'sPrincesse Member

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    No we can't! And it won't!

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  12. Concernedgal
    Depressed

    Concernedgal Well-Known Member

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    Good. Now u got it! ;)
     
  13. God'sPrincesse

    God'sPrincesse Member

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    Thank you so much Concernedgal! Btw, what are methods you use to keep your anxiety at a minimum?

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  14. XmasCarol52

    XmasCarol52 Well-Known Member

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    To be honest I don't handle it to well at all I have been getting sick on and off and whenever I have a physical illness not only does my anxieties rise but I develop panic attacks,I am on klonopin and busparine i like the klonopin better. I only take the busparine if i need it but lately it seems like i need it all of the time,one thing that does help some with my anxieties is just laying down I close my eyes and try to relax sometimes it actually helps./or just try to think of something I really like,like the ocean and beach.I can see myself walking along the beach or just swimming that makes me happy.Unfortunately they cannot bottle the beach and I have a friend who sits with me once in awhile her just sitting with me relaxes me she doesnt have any mental illness but she does understand how I feel.I hate it when she cannot sit with me.I feel so lonely since my husband passed 14 years go.
     
  15. God'sPrincesse

    God'sPrincesse Member

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    Awe Carol. Im so sorry about your husband! I know how it feels to miss a loved one. Its great that you have a friend to sit with you once in a while. My friends have busy lives and I feel like Im a bother when I contact them. Physical illnesses are scary! Whenever I feel a symptom from my anxiety at a specific spot, I think Im dying of something. Then I tell myself that I am okay. I try breathing too and it helps a little until my mind goes elsewhere. I hope we can all help each other get rid of this anxiety together

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  16. XmasCarol52

    XmasCarol52 Well-Known Member

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    what makes it worse is my husband died right in front of me he was only 53 when he passed away.I hope to be your friend and do not worry you could never be a bother to me.i love helping people.I cannot explain it but whenever I do get sick my adrenaline is so high which makes my anxieties worse.I try not to think of the illness but that is all I can concentrate on.
     
  17. God'sPrincesse

    God'sPrincesse Member

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    Oh my goodness! Im so sorry! I hope we can be friends too! Well I woke up this morning feeling a bit jumpy. Half of me what's to go to the ER so they can run tests to figure out if there's an underlying cause for the constant anxiety. But I don't want to alarm my parents or be admitted to the psych ward. Im not sure what to do....Im trying to breathe slowly and think happy thoughts but it works for only a little time...I'm so tired of this! I want my life back!

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  18. XmasCarol52

    XmasCarol52 Well-Known Member

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    I have it already I lost heat three times already, last night it didnt run at all so i had jack it up to 75 i live in senior housing i absolutely hate it here>Everyone knows every bodies business,see I also have bipolar and depression and sometimes i get angry and yell and believe me some nosy people around here went and reported me that awful land lady just doesnt get it.One time she even threatened me with eviction,I dont like her at all.She knows i have a mental illness.I wish I was never forced to move here but I had no say in the matter. Anyway I am like you to always anxious no matter what always afraid something bad is going to happen.I am not the only one who had lost heat.Even the wind scares me because I am afraid of losing power now how crazy is this we have a generator but in my mind all I can hear is what id that doesnt work.Always the case of what if?Sounds like you have that too.I was in psych oncve for almost two weeks I hated it,I had a nervous breakdown,They had groups all of the time which i hated because i hate being around a bunch of people oh ya I also suffer with agoraphobia.I agree on the happy thoughts they do not last for long.I am so sick of this illness to .I wish we could just make it go away.
     
  19. Concernedgal
    Depressed

    Concernedgal Well-Known Member

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    All the thing's I mentioned to you. Except I can't take ssri... my body just does not tolerate it. I have bipolar disorder so...when I'm up I'm up. ...and when I'm down ....I am really down...damn near suicidal. I have been at this forum during some of my bad times and you can ask anyone here ....I have had to ask people here to give me a reason to live. And also the bad part is thathat even when i'm in my good days....it's so intense that I still experience shortness of breathe and anxiety during those times tooo..the only thing is that I can manage it better. Have you ever taken buspar? I have a prescription and unfortunately I have medication anxiety. ..I don't like taking anything.... (ANYTHING).. seriously. If you've taken it before. ..how did it treat you.?
     
  20. God'sPrincesse

    God'sPrincesse Member

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    Ive never taken burspar. My Dr. just prescribed me bupropion SR and just like you I have medication anxiety too. I read it gives people seizures and I decided not to take it anymore after that 1 I took. Im not sure how to manage this anymore. I cried 4 times already today. Thank God I have my parents. But half of me wants to go to the ER. Im not sure what to do...

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