So I've had anxiety and panic attacks since I was 16/17.
It kicked off with my first boyfriend which I was in a very unhealthy relationship with for 5 and a half years dealing with pressure for sex/intimacy on a daily basis. Unfortunately the impact of this relationship, his depressions and self-harm it as well as his cheating and my desperate need to make it work or whatever crazy reason meant my anxiety grew worse and made me into a shell of who I was meant to be.
So now a few years after the breakup from him and in future attempts of dating made me do a good bit of self-evaluating of me and who I want to be. I've really grown into the person I should be: confident, sure of who I am and happier separate of another person. I've learnt alot about my anxiety within this time and through reflection. My triggers are quite clearly centred around men and not feeling in control, especially in intimate situations where mentally I go from 0 to 10 freaking out from nowhere sometimes. Now I've got a new other half who is a much better person in himself and better person for me. He also wants to help me deal with this long overdue problem.
So, as a result, my anxiety and the past still having a foothold of me and my relationships and life choices I'm here. Online. Talking and considering my reactions and decisions, discussing anxiety with people who have been there. As well as taking control rather than just coasting it like I have been doing. The previous mental health website I was on had a really positive impact so I'm hopeful I can get to know some people on here who can relate and stop coasting it and really move on and let the past stay in the past and move on with my life and leave the thoughts behind.
Sorry for the big rant but feels like a big purge to get back into this whole talking thing again. Promise I'm not as serious and doom and gloom as this sounds, can't wait to get to know you all
It kicked off with my first boyfriend which I was in a very unhealthy relationship with for 5 and a half years dealing with pressure for sex/intimacy on a daily basis. Unfortunately the impact of this relationship, his depressions and self-harm it as well as his cheating and my desperate need to make it work or whatever crazy reason meant my anxiety grew worse and made me into a shell of who I was meant to be.
So now a few years after the breakup from him and in future attempts of dating made me do a good bit of self-evaluating of me and who I want to be. I've really grown into the person I should be: confident, sure of who I am and happier separate of another person. I've learnt alot about my anxiety within this time and through reflection. My triggers are quite clearly centred around men and not feeling in control, especially in intimate situations where mentally I go from 0 to 10 freaking out from nowhere sometimes. Now I've got a new other half who is a much better person in himself and better person for me. He also wants to help me deal with this long overdue problem.
So, as a result, my anxiety and the past still having a foothold of me and my relationships and life choices I'm here. Online. Talking and considering my reactions and decisions, discussing anxiety with people who have been there. As well as taking control rather than just coasting it like I have been doing. The previous mental health website I was on had a really positive impact so I'm hopeful I can get to know some people on here who can relate and stop coasting it and really move on and let the past stay in the past and move on with my life and leave the thoughts behind.
Sorry for the big rant but feels like a big purge to get back into this whole talking thing again. Promise I'm not as serious and doom and gloom as this sounds, can't wait to get to know you all