Hi Everyone,
I am very new to this forum, and am reaching out to people with similar problems in life to myself.
I come from a very complicated background... To cut it short:
Was engaged to a man at the age of 21 for 2 years (was with him for 8 years in total)
Rented a house and worked for his parents during and after this, still work there
Broke up with ex after realising we were not meant to be together before the wedding which would have taken place just over a month later (he also cheated on me)
Continued to rent house to keep a 'normal life' and not have to move back in with parents. I liked my time alone
Kept working at the company
Met my now fiancé (Wedding is October 2019)
Moved from rented house into owned house with new fiancé
Trying to look forward to my wedding.....
The problem is this. I am waking up every day with a sick, anxious feeling. I have some concerns with my job. One of the directors passed away 3 months ago, leaving his wife to run things. The children step up a bit more now, but not as much as they could.
I enjoy my job, and have had discussions with my boss (ex mother in law effectively) about how she really wants me to stay, thinks a lot of me, will be extremely accommodating for if or when I have a child
But there is just something not sitting right with me. I have a mixture of emotions and feelings all the time. Some friends tell me I should move on and find another job, my fiancé and sister think I should stay put as it could work really well for if I have a baby in the near future. Most jobs want you to build up a good working reputation before they will be flexible. My fiancé is 42, and I am 34 soon, so really after the wedding I guess babies are the next step.
I fear for going to interviews. I fear for not making the right decision. I worry that Im going to get stuck running the company should something happen to my other boss. I worry about EVERYTHING, and I cant seem to live life with no worry at any time.
Ive felt like this for about 2 months now. I have come off the contraceptive pill about 2 months ago, and part of me is wondering whether I can blame some of my 'chemical inbalance' from that. I have made an appointment to see the nurse next week.
My life is 110% better than it used to be, but I cant help feeling I am pushing my friends away worrying myself to death over things that havnt even happened yet. Part of my stress is that my ex mother in law (boss) has made it pretty clear if we have a wedding celebration back home (wedding abroad) she would like to be there. Personally I don't think its right, and have told her I don't know if I am comfortable with that. She was upset, but said if you don't want me there don't invite me.
I guess I am reaching out today because I feel I have exhausted my friends, fiancé, and parents, even myself. I am currently trying meditation videos on you tube before bed, and im not sure if this is really helping.
It would be so nice to speak to people that have issues with anxiety, I would love to hear from you xx
I am very new to this forum, and am reaching out to people with similar problems in life to myself.
I come from a very complicated background... To cut it short:
Was engaged to a man at the age of 21 for 2 years (was with him for 8 years in total)
Rented a house and worked for his parents during and after this, still work there
Broke up with ex after realising we were not meant to be together before the wedding which would have taken place just over a month later (he also cheated on me)
Continued to rent house to keep a 'normal life' and not have to move back in with parents. I liked my time alone
Kept working at the company
Met my now fiancé (Wedding is October 2019)
Moved from rented house into owned house with new fiancé
Trying to look forward to my wedding.....
The problem is this. I am waking up every day with a sick, anxious feeling. I have some concerns with my job. One of the directors passed away 3 months ago, leaving his wife to run things. The children step up a bit more now, but not as much as they could.
I enjoy my job, and have had discussions with my boss (ex mother in law effectively) about how she really wants me to stay, thinks a lot of me, will be extremely accommodating for if or when I have a child
But there is just something not sitting right with me. I have a mixture of emotions and feelings all the time. Some friends tell me I should move on and find another job, my fiancé and sister think I should stay put as it could work really well for if I have a baby in the near future. Most jobs want you to build up a good working reputation before they will be flexible. My fiancé is 42, and I am 34 soon, so really after the wedding I guess babies are the next step.
I fear for going to interviews. I fear for not making the right decision. I worry that Im going to get stuck running the company should something happen to my other boss. I worry about EVERYTHING, and I cant seem to live life with no worry at any time.
Ive felt like this for about 2 months now. I have come off the contraceptive pill about 2 months ago, and part of me is wondering whether I can blame some of my 'chemical inbalance' from that. I have made an appointment to see the nurse next week.
My life is 110% better than it used to be, but I cant help feeling I am pushing my friends away worrying myself to death over things that havnt even happened yet. Part of my stress is that my ex mother in law (boss) has made it pretty clear if we have a wedding celebration back home (wedding abroad) she would like to be there. Personally I don't think its right, and have told her I don't know if I am comfortable with that. She was upset, but said if you don't want me there don't invite me.
I guess I am reaching out today because I feel I have exhausted my friends, fiancé, and parents, even myself. I am currently trying meditation videos on you tube before bed, and im not sure if this is really helping.
It would be so nice to speak to people that have issues with anxiety, I would love to hear from you xx
